Friday, June 11, 2010

I Suck. But These People Suck Harder.

So, yeah...I suck. I haven't blogged since Tuesday. And that was just an update of the Caption Contest post, so I actually haven't really blogged since Sunday. Sorry folks, I've just been tired and uninspired of late. But I finally saw a story that really got my dander up, and even caused me to use the phrase "got my dander up," the meaning of which I'm not sure I fully understand.

Remember, kids: dirty, anonymous sex is the only cure for buyer's remorse!Gawker reported that American Apparel (the retailer that sells third-rate versions of dance-friendly clothes from the '80s—a decade that most of its store employees never experienced) has a very strict policy about hiring unattractive people. The policy is something like, "Eeew. Ugly people suck. Don't hire them."

Obviously, there's a whole "Who decides what is beautiful?" issue in here, but I'm not gonna get up on that particular high horse right now. Why waste such a philosophical argument on vapid idiots like this?

Apparently, AA also has a strict policy against hiring people with good and/or or any discernible personalities. I'm assuming this based on my very few experiences in their stores. It seems the worse the attitude or the more brain dead a person is, the better chance he or she has of getting hired. And if any employee spends most of his or her day not working, but talking loudly to other employees or to friends on an iPhone about the latest indie music darlings, he or she will soon be promoted to management if not a manager already.

CEO Dov Charney has claimed that he's not against hiring fugs, but that he just wants to make sure that his employees have "good fashion sense." Really? He's the CEO, so he knows the kind of crap his company sells, right? He knows that every store looks like a Fame extra's dressing room, right after a 10-cent hooker threw up all over it, right?

The fashion police DO exist!Seriously, why does AA bother with its annoyingly long and detailed process for how managers should submit applications—er, pictorials—to corporate? Couldn't they just recruit people directly from Look at This Fucking Hipster and save everyone a lot of time? Look, here are a couple of perfect managers-in-training. And here is a treasure trove of new interns who are probably willing to work for headbands and thigh-high tube socks. These two? Regional managers. This chick? HR Director. This guy? Make him VP of Something immediately.


cube said...

I can't believe this. No really, I can't.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I like their soft t-shirts but really. I need to buy like a girls' XL or 2XL in there to get them to fit me when I can buy a regular babydoll/ladies' large elsewhere. And I like their knee socks with the kind of '70s roller disco look. But everything else is just stuff made from coloured t-shirt fabric and sold for outrageously expensive prices, considering. I don't get quite what's so fashionable about them. It's like they sat down 20 hipsters and said "here's some old tshirts, make something out of them."

words...words...words... said...

While I find this vaguely offensive, at least it means all the d-bags are in one place and I can easily avoid them.

I heart this post.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

If I'm too ugly to work there, I sure as hell am not going to shop there!

Cora said...

That guy is probably already the VP of BP.

Penny said...

hahahahahah I like that website. I don't really know what AA is...I need to research.


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