Although Seacrest bellows that LA has SOME OF THE BEST TALENT AMERICAN IDOL HAS EVER SEEN, only five of the 17 featured auditioners are handed golden tickets. So yeah, this is one looong hour. Because I have no idea how to make a recap of this voyage to the bottom of the West Coast barrel interesting, I've just decided to make it challenging (for myself), by giving a haiku review of each Idol hopeful. And away we go..."can't sing like (air quotes) J.Lo"
for that, i like her
Tim was createdwith Lee DeWyze DNA
he's in...blandtastic!
Justin has no balls
at least that's what J.Lo thinks
then he disappears
Daniel and Isaac
friends or something more? who cares?
delusional dorks
Karen from MySpace
met J.Lo on TRL
she's through to round two
it's Tynisha..."ow!"
dude looks like a lady but...
she's kind of funny
Ala Heidi Khzam!
she belly dances and sings
the boys get boners
Matt "Big Stats" Frankel
clearly mentally unhinged
which idol exploits
William and Jeannette
just two more random shriekers
in this huge shit-fest
Daniel, Arista
both bad...then there's Anthony:
thinks he's Larry Platt
bros Mark and Aaron
show off their great harmony
the judges say yes
old Cooper Robinson
witch doctor-meets-James Brown
just writhes, rants and raves
next week in San Fran
there will be more sob stories
so pull up your boots
then it's Hollywood
where nearly everyone will
forget their lyrics
Find more Idol news and recaps at SirLinksaLot.
Comments
When Daniel or Isaac admitted to dropping out of college to audition for Idol, but hadn't told his mother, I looked my stepdaughter square in the eyes and whispered, "i would keeeeeel youuuu." ;-)
Steven Tyler rocks.
LA was ri-donk-ulous.
Hollywood week, please!