Thursday, February 03, 2011

American Idol 10: Los Angeles, Haiku Style

Although Seacrest bellows that LA has SOME OF THE BEST TALENT AMERICAN IDOL HAS EVER SEEN, only five of the 17 featured auditioners are handed golden tickets. So yeah, this is one looong hour. Because I have no idea how to make a recap of this voyage to the bottom of the West Coast barrel interesting, I've just decided to make it challenging (for myself), by giving a haiku review of each Idol hopeful. And away we go...


here's Victoria
"can't sing like (air quotes) J.Lo"
for that, i like her

Tim was created
with Lee DeWyze DNA
he's in...blandtastic!

Justin has no balls
at least that's what J.Lo thinks
then he disappears

Daniel and Isaac
friends or something more? who cares?
delusional dorks

Karen from MySpace
met J.Lo on TRL
she's through to round two

it's Tynisha..."ow!"
dude looks like a lady but...
she's kind of funny

Ala Heidi Khzam!
she belly dances and sings
the boys get boners

Matt "Big Stats" Frankel
clearly mentally unhinged
which idol exploits

William and Jeannette
just two more random shriekers
in this huge shit-fest

Daniel, Arista
both bad...then there's Anthony:
thinks he's Larry Platt

bros Mark and Aaron
show off their great harmony
the judges say yes

old Cooper Robinson
witch doctor-meets-James Brown
just writhes, rants and raves

next week in San Fran
there will be more sob stories
so pull up your boots

then it's Hollywood
where nearly everyone will
forget their lyrics


Find more Idol news and recaps at SirLinksaLot.

5 comments:

Ian said...

That Cooper Robinson had to be the worst staged audition ever. They were probably hoping he'd go viral like the "Pants on the Ground" guy, but since he was neither funny nor entertaining, I don't see it happening. They've probably already booked him for an encore appearance at the finale though.

Scope said...

Last night's was really bad. Train wreck after train wreck.

When Daniel or Isaac admitted to dropping out of college to audition for Idol, but hadn't told his mother, I looked my stepdaughter square in the eyes and whispered, "i would keeeeeel youuuu." ;-)

Cora said...

Dude looks like a lady. Ha! That's the perfect description of that Tynisha chick/fella. Ow!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

American Idol should make you their official haikuer.

Kari said...

Your haiku skills are most impressive. Mine aren't but I'll try anyway.

Steven Tyler rocks.
LA was ri-donk-ulous.
Hollywood week, please!

 

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