Thursday, March 17, 2011

American Idol 10: 3/17/11 Results

Cry as you may! Whine as you might! If you didn't get the votes, you'll be dead on this night.



Time now for the special St. Patrick's Day results show. And, if you're anything like me, the first things that come to mind when you think of Irish revelry are manufactured drama, Lee DeWyze and the Black Eyed Peas. Unnggghhh. I could really go for a pint or six right about now, but I did a little too much partying over the weekend (Chicago-style), so I'm taking it easy.

Now, you might think that my mini-detox is causing the chills and dry heaves I'm experiencing but, in this case, it's all due to the group sing. Trying to capitalize on Glee's popularity, the kids perform a mashup of Steppenwolf's "Born to Be Wild" and Lady Gaga's "Born This Way." Parts of it aren't too bad and the Idolettes may actually be singing—gasp!—live, but the general stench of cornball overpowers the performance. As for the Ford commercial, this week's is even more stupid than usual. I'm just glad TPTB had the sense to not let Stefano drive any of the cars.

In case you didn't know, the American Idol 10th Anniversary "Best Of" CD is out now. To help promote it, Ryan reveals that there is a free one under each seat. The audience reacts as if Oprah just showed up with Ford Fiestas for everyone.

Anyhoo...on to the results.

Casey, Jacob and Lauren are all safe. Seacrest summons Haley and Paul and reveals that Haley is in the Bottom 3. I'm 1-1.

Anyhoo...enough results. It's time to welcome back last season's big, huge embarrassing failure. And he's the guy who won. Yes, good ol' Lee DeadEyez takes the stage as leprechauns run around the studio, jabbing the audience with cattle prods so that they'll applaud. After his performance of a song no one will ever hear again unless they bring it upon themselves, Seacrest asks Lee to give the Idolettes some advice. I think he tells them to be as boring as possible and they'll go far. Content that she's on the right track, Thia Megia pats herself on the back. I would love to see a staring contest between Lee and Thia. You know, whoever breaks their vacant expression first loses. It would be the dullest Mexican standoff ever.

Back to the results again. Scotty, Pia and James are all safe. Seacrest calls over Stefano and Naima and sends Naima to the uncomfortable stools. Good. Not only because I'm 2-2, but also because this keeps Stefano in the Idol mansion and not out there on the roads.

It comes down to Karen and Thia. Who is the most loyal: the Latino voters or the Filipino voters? Turns out, it's the Filipino voters. Karen is in the Bottom 3. I'm 3-3! Beckstradamus is back!

The Black Eyed Peas show up, which is probably great for the 20 or so people who aren't suffering from Black Eyed Fatigue. As for me, I'll just close my eyes and dream of the day when AI is smart enough to get, say, Flogging Molly to perform on St. Paddy's Day.

Finally, the results are in and it looks like Beckstradamus isn't entirely back. Somehow, Haley lives to growl another day and Karen is sent packing. Well, technically, she has to sing for her life, but we all know that the judges aren't going to burn their save this early, especially when Karen's voice is cracking like crazy. Of course, they put on a show—pretending to deliberate and claiming that their decision isn't unanimous—but, honestly, J.Lo's performance in The Wedding Planner was more convincing.


Find more Idol news and recaps at SirLinksaLot.

10 comments:

Scope said...

Well, Beck's, I think you were right, but simply off by a week. Haley has now been bottom 3 twice, and the two people who started with her have been GLEEned. Unless she whitens her teeth and sings like a bad Rod Stewart impersonator at open mike night, I think the pride of Wheeling, IL will be heading back to the land of Bob Chinn's soon.

Cora said...

In defense of Stefano's DUI, he IS from Kent, WA. If you'd ever been to Kent, you'd completely understand.

Chancelucky said...

Haven't been watching for the last 12 months, but we started again a couple weeks ago.

Black Eye Peas would have been more interesting if they had the guys in the Marilyn Monroe outfit and Fergie in the space suit.

Anonymous said...

your blog sucks, that why nobody leaves comments

Cora said...

Your blog doesn't suck. I leave comments.

Scope said...

I think most are too awestruck to leave comments

BeckEye said...

Anon, you keep using that word "nobody." I do not think it means what you think it means.

Sandra said...

I don't even watch the show. I tried. But I couldn't take JLo crying all the time. Reading your update is far more entertaining! And I don't have to tell my kids that it's not nice to laugh at others.

tennysoneehemingway said...

Reading your recaps is WAY more fun than watching this show. I think it's on over here on Foxtel, which I don't have because I don't want to take out three mortgages on my house to watch dead fish sing song I could care less about and make me feel old. Again. And hey, I leave comments and I AM a nobody so, fuck you anonymous.

Zed said...

OK, Karen and Ashthon's gone. Now Haley and Naima need to go. Quickly.

And if Thia doesn't start putting some energy, life, and style into her songs, she needs to go too. She bores me immensely.

And Lauren? Why don't you like Lauren? Alright, she has no sense of humor, she wears funny outfits, and her mother had that bizarre pink hat on ... but Lauren can sing.

It will be all guys left and Pia. Guess who's gonna win.

 

Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

My photo
I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

What Do Others Think of BeckEye?

"You're like an idiot savant of terrible garbage entertainment." - Falwless

"You're my hero." - Candy

"Get yourself a life. Better yet.....eff off." - Ann Onymous

"There's no one like you." - Klaus Meine