Monday, March 21, 2011

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Some days it's not even worth getting out of bed, is it?

Exhibit A: As something of a 40th birthday present to himself (and a belated 38th birthday kick in the life to me), Ewan McGregor has announced that he won't be doing any more nude scenes. EVER. Now, not that there aren't plenty of movies to remember his peen by, but it just seems so unfair. He could have at least waited until he turned 50. This is not only bad news for ladies and gays, but also for Ewan himself. Because, with nothing else to focus on but the plot, we're not going to be so forgiving if he makes another movie like Deception.

Exhibit B: Knut the polar bear died suddenly over the weekend. The cause of death is unknown as of now, but already some are speculating that he was killed "by fame" or from depression after the death of the zookeeper who raised him. I tend to go along with one animal expert's opinion that "Perhaps his mother may have abandoned him as a baby for a reason—having identified some kind of genetic problem in advance." While a necropsy to determine the cause of death is underway, fans have been placing candles, flowers and stuffed animals at the entrance of the Berlin Zoo and around Knut's exhibit as memorials for the fuzzy little guy. I'm sure a lot of people will think that's stupid, just as they'll think it's stupid that I'm actually getting teary-eyed just thinking about poor Knut, but those people can go eat monkey feces.

13 comments:

Cora said...

I cried my eyes out in both sadness and anger when Hansa, the baby elephant at Seattle's Woodland Park Zoo, killed herself by gorging on dirt out of "boredom."

My God, if the people taking care of her in the zoo KNEW she was BORED, and KNEW she ATE DIRT when she was BORED, and KNEW that EATING DIRT would KILL her, then why the hell didn't they give her SOMETHING TO DO so she wouldn't be SUICIDAL?!?! Just stupid! :-(

*end rant over dead zoo animals*

SkylersDad said...

Maybe if you ask nicely, Ewan will still show you his bum?

The Vegetable Assassin said...

This is really sad. I'm quite pouty now thank you. About the bear that is, not Ewan's pee-pee staying in his pants. WHERE IT BELONGS. :)

Ed said...

A was approached about being a penis-double for Ewan, but was turned down for being too large.

tennysoneehemingway said...

I don't remember Ewan having a nude scene in any of the Star Wars remakes, so maybe THAT'S why I remember him being so shit in them.

Scope said...

I'm absolutely certain that I've never seen Knut's peen.

Losing It said...

Indeed, the End of Times are upon us... RIP, sight of Ewan's penis.

J.J. in L.A. said...

It's sad about Knut. But...Ewan who? I guess not being a movie buff has made me miss the good stuff. Or not.

Coaster Punchman said...

If this were a gay blog I'd share with you all the rude jokes my pals and I would make about our un-cut friends across the pond. Yeah, I know circumcision on boys is now controversial, but whatevs. Bagel!

words...words...words... said...

I appreciate your use of the word "peen". There are a million euphemisms for the male junk, but that's one of the best.

dmarks said...

Don't worry. They can take regular footage and enhance it to make CGI nude scenes in his future movies.

Macy said...

Ewan McGregor says he's FORTY??? As if...

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Somewhere, in bear heaven, Knut is watching reruns of all the peen-bearing Ewan McGregor movies ever made.

 

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