Wednesday, May 04, 2011

A Few Thoughts From Someone Who Watches Too Much TV

Glee: I know I've been bitching about Glee's backslide lately, but I quite enjoyed the all-Fleetwood Mac episode last night. The only song I didn't dig that much was Kevin McHale's (Artie) cover of "Never Going Back Again." I loved the million guitars that accompanied him, but his vocals on the chorus were nasally and a little painful. And while I didn't think Cory Monteith and Dianna Agron (the annoyingly rhymed couple, Finn and Quinn) really did justice to my favorite Rumours track, "I Don't Want To Know," it wasn't terrible. I start to feel itchy whenever anyone tries to cover Stevie Nicks, but I have to hand it to Kristen Chenoweth (April) for doing a nice job with "Dreams." I particularly liked Lea Michele's (Rachel) rendition of "Go Your Own Way" and, even though it's never been one of my favorite Mac songs, the whole-cast cover of "Don't Stop" was entertaining. Oh, and Naya Rivera's version of "Songbird?" Damn, girl! I'd totally go lez for Santana.

But do you know the very best part of last night's episode? The (all-too-brief) flash of Jonathan Groff (Jesse) in next week's preview. FINALLY, we're getting some more J-Groff up in this bitch! And I've read that he'll be covering Adele's "Rolling in the Deep," which will be awesome because A) I love that song, B) I've heard a lot of sub-par vocalists cover it recently, and C) Jonathan Groff will be on my TV again, making sounds with his pretty mouth. My lady parts can't wait.

Community: Speaking of things my lady parts are anxiously anticipating, how about Josh Holloway on Community's paintball-themed finale?? I mean, McHale and Holloway onscreen together? I am literally vibrating with excitement. (Take that however you want.) Also, I'd totally go lez for Annie.

Seriously, if this show doesn't win all the damn Emmys next year, I might shoot out my television set. OK, so that's clearly an empty threat but come on, world! Accept that this is the funniest show on TV, watch it religiously and shower it with praise.

Parks and Recreation: Come on, world! Accept that this is also the funniest show on TV, watch it religiously and shower it with praise. (Sorry, I don't know how superlatives work.)

30 Rock: How did this end up only the third best show on Thursday night? (Or is it technically the second best since, by my own ranking, Community and P&R are both the best?) I mean, it's still great but it may be slightly losing its edge. Even so, Liz Lemon always says at least one thing every episode that makes me fall off the couch.

The Office: I was definitely sad to see Michael Scott go, but Steve Carell's last episode seemed a little anti-climactic or something. I'm thinking it might be a better idea to just end the show now. Well, unless they can get Will Arnett to take over as the boss.

The Voice: I recently voiced my pre-emptive disapproval for this new show but I may have to eat those comments. I watched most of last night's episode and was pleasantly surprised by it. I have to say though that most of the show's charm is stuffed into Cee Lo Green's tiny, roly-poly body. I just adore him. Blake Shelton seems like a nice enough guy and is easy on the eyes. Christina Aguilera...well, I don't know. I can take or leave her. I just wish she'd stop throwing her hands up and posing every five seconds. As for the other one, I've said it before and I'll say it again: ADAM LEVINE IS A GIANT TURD. And it figures that he was the one judge who was being ultra picky and still needed two singers on his team when everyone else had a full roster. Then he ended up picking two chicks who weren't really that good. But I wouldn't expect the lead poseur in a crappy-to-below average band to be that skilled at picking out talent.

Celebrity Apprentice: Trump is such an asshole, but I can't look away from this. I love NeNe Leakes. And yeah, we all (East Coasters, anyway) missed what was probably an awesome boardroom battle last week, but "Osama, you're dead" is a little more exciting than "Hope (who else), you're fired."

Dancing with the Stars: This is the first season since, well, the first season (aka "The Year Peterman Got Hosed") that I've watched this. Although I only decided to watch because my man Hines Ward is on, I'm kind of enjoying the whole cast. But man, this show really knows how to drag shit out. I thought American Idol was bad. I'd love to see Ryan Seacrest and Tom Bergeron go head-to-head on a show called Time Wasters and see who comes out the victor.

So You Think You Can Dance: Yay, the show that introduced Chelsie Hightower to the world is coming back! Oh, and Mary Murphy is coming back with it. I'm not sure how to feel about that. I got really good at sensing when she was about to let out an ear-piercing explosion, but my mute button quick-draw skills have gotten a little rusty.

Top Chef All-Stars: Somehow, I missed the last three weeks of this. I still don't know who won, but I'm hoping it was Blaise. (Don't tell me, because I'll find it on Hulu or some other site.) I swear, Bravo replays every show 500 times a week, but when it's something that I've missed, that particular episode is never seen again. *sigh* Anyway, can someone give Blaise and Fabio their own show, please?

Project Runway: WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? I've been a hot tranny mess without you. You really need to come back so we can all get that horrible taste of Wheatgrass (aka Gretchen) out of our mouths.


So. Cal. Gal said...

I don't know if Project Runway is even going to be back. Heidi is hosting some lame "kids are funny" type show. Come to think of it, that hasn't been on lately either, that I've noticed.

Ian said...

You love NeNe Leakes? Ugh. I can't stand her. If we absolutely must have a trainwreck contestant on the show, let's bring back Gary Busey. At least he's an actual celebrity instead of a fake reality TV celebrity.

Travis Cody said...

I enjoy the results shows for DWTS mainly because of all the filler. I like watching the pros get a chance to dance. And I enjoy the production numbers with special guests. And I mostly enjoy the musical guests. For me, it's less about the result than it is about the entertainment.

And can I just give an ear-piercing WOOOOOO for the return of MM to the judging table? Even though she's loud, she's also instructive with her notes. And although I love Mia, sometimes I didn't have a clue what she was saying to the dancers. Can't wait for SYTYCD!

cube said...

I watch a lot of cable so I've missed most of the shows you named. We do have Glee, Top Chef Masters and So You Think You Can Dance in common.

The quality of Glee has been dropping lately, but I did enjoy the Fleetwood Mac episode. I think they need to go back to the witty dialog (Fondue For Two was humorous) and tone down the gay decibel level a bit.

Top Chef Masters... I will say no more until you watch the finale.

SYTYCD... I like Mary. I like Nigel. I even like Mia. They make a competent judging unit together
unlike what passes for judging on American Idol.

Shelly said...

I LOVE Celebrity Apprentice! Yep, I'm Team NeNe, too, mainly because she's right that Star is a manipulative biotch. That show is hysterical.

Dale said...

I thought they did a great job with Rumours too and Artie didn't bother me as much as usual. I'm all about Nene smack talking everyone on the Apprentice too! Please follow up on the Project Runway and let me know? Thanks! :-)

Coaster Punchman said...

You saw J-Groff with me live in NYC didn't you? Ah, the good ole' days. I think you know he officially plays for my team though, so find your lady parts another little friend. Maybe purple and shaped like a bunny?


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