Oh, those summer nights! I should have been out enjoying them this week, but instead I was lounging on my couch watching a bunch of reality rubbish. While I won't be doing full recaps of any of these shows, I will occasionally (maybe every week, depending on how boring my life gets) spew forth my jumbled thoughts.
America's Got Talent
So, last week's auditions in Houston and Minneapolis were pretty interesting. I mean, everyone loved the guy who dove into the kiddie pool, right? And then there was the Kinetic King (the best character never written into Fargo), the opera singer with the long blonde braids and, my personal favorite, Dani Shay, the girl who looks just like Justin Bieber (er, he looks like her). But this week, we were forced to go back to Seattle, a city that can produce talent like Jimi Hendrix and Pearl Jam, but apparently sucks when it comes to Vegas-style lounge acts. And while that's not necessarily a bad thing, it kind of makes for a boring hour of TV. I don't remember much of it except for Geechy Guy—the sweaty king of one-liners; Alaska—the dancer who may or may not have been a transsexual; and Art of Teknique—the cute little boy dancers.
So far, my favorite acts have been a couple of dance troupes: Silhouettes, who auditioned in Minneapolis, and Team iLuminate from the Atlanta auditions.
The Voice
If there is a complaint to be made about this show (besides Carson Daly's never-ending blandness), it's that the panel of coaches make the American Idol judges look downright mean. Seriously, they haven't had a bad word to say about anyone. I'll give Adam Levine a pass because, really, what the hell does he know? But Christina Aguilera? Say what you will about her, but the girl can sing. And my man Cee Lo Green? Come on! He needs to step forward as the voice of reason or something. He can't possibly think all of these singers are good. And Blake Shelton?? He seems like a good dude but HOLY SHIT is he a terrible judge of talent. His whole team was pretty mediocre to begin with, but when the fans saved Dia Frampton (who did give Team Blake's best performance last week) and the second save was left up to him, he picked Xenia??? Either of his two guys—neither of whom I had a strong feeling for one way or the other—would have been a better choice, primarily because neither of them sang in a frightened monotone while making robotic arm movements. Now, I'm sure that someone will swing by here and call me a bitch because, my God, Xenia is just a kid and I am just trying to break her down, but I promise you that I'm not trying to do anything but figure out what the hell Blake Shelton is smoking. Because I need some if I'm gonna have to watch this girl perform again.
I will give Christina props for making a good pick with Frenchie Davis—the only reasonable choice once Beverly McClellan got the fan save. We'll have to wait and see if Adam and Cee Lo also make the right choices for their teams next week. Cee Lo's final two should be Vicci Martinez and Nakia. The Thompson sisters could make it through because they're young and cute, which doesn't really make sense on a show called The Voice. Not to say that they didn't sing well, because they did. They're just no match for Vicci. As for Curtis Grimes, he's just straight-up terrible.
Adam's final two should be Casey Weston and Javier Colon, but I have a feeling that Middle America will be voting in droves for Jeff Jenkins because he mentioned two things that the voters love: Jesus and his dead mother. In fact, he's been talking about his dead mother since Day 1 and it's really on my nerves. Now, before you blast me for being a cold-hearted wench, you should know that I also have a dead mother. She died when I was four. But do I begin every blog post with a mention of that? No, I do not. Maybe if I did, I'd have four million followers by now.
So You Think You Can Dance
If there is one thing Nigel Lythgoe wants you to know about this season's Top 20, it's this: the girls are BEASTS. I guess they are, but there has to be a more appealing term to call them. I quite liked everyone on last night's show, although the duo that left me a bit cold was Ashley and Chris as the hip-hopping couple cheating on each other. The hip-hop routines are usually my favorites (I thought Ryan and Ricky's number was great) but this one was just trying to be too cutesy and it didn't seem like the dancers brought enough energy. So, if two people have to go home tonight, I think it should be them. I just hope Miranda doesn't get eliminated. I've gotta pull for her since she's a Pittsburgh girl! Well, if she had been terrible, I wouldn't be waving the Terrible Towel for her, but I thought she did a great job with the jive.
ETA: No one was eliminated. The judges love everyone.
I think everyone watching could agree that the best routine was the contemporary "statue" piece. Melanie and Marko were a beautiful duo, but the biggest props have to go to choreographer Travis Wall. It's interesting...I can't always see the difference between some of the other styles' choreographers, but I can always recognize a Travis number. He has a very distinct style. I feel the same way about Sonya Tayeh and Tabitha & Napoleon, too. Can't wait to see some of Nappytabs' work this season!
America's Got TalentSo, last week's auditions in Houston and Minneapolis were pretty interesting. I mean, everyone loved the guy who dove into the kiddie pool, right? And then there was the Kinetic King (the best character never written into Fargo), the opera singer with the long blonde braids and, my personal favorite, Dani Shay, the girl who looks just like Justin Bieber (er, he looks like her). But this week, we were forced to go back to Seattle, a city that can produce talent like Jimi Hendrix and Pearl Jam, but apparently sucks when it comes to Vegas-style lounge acts. And while that's not necessarily a bad thing, it kind of makes for a boring hour of TV. I don't remember much of it except for Geechy Guy—the sweaty king of one-liners; Alaska—the dancer who may or may not have been a transsexual; and Art of Teknique—the cute little boy dancers.
So far, my favorite acts have been a couple of dance troupes: Silhouettes, who auditioned in Minneapolis, and Team iLuminate from the Atlanta auditions.
The VoiceIf there is a complaint to be made about this show (besides Carson Daly's never-ending blandness), it's that the panel of coaches make the American Idol judges look downright mean. Seriously, they haven't had a bad word to say about anyone. I'll give Adam Levine a pass because, really, what the hell does he know? But Christina Aguilera? Say what you will about her, but the girl can sing. And my man Cee Lo Green? Come on! He needs to step forward as the voice of reason or something. He can't possibly think all of these singers are good. And Blake Shelton?? He seems like a good dude but HOLY SHIT is he a terrible judge of talent. His whole team was pretty mediocre to begin with, but when the fans saved Dia Frampton (who did give Team Blake's best performance last week) and the second save was left up to him, he picked Xenia??? Either of his two guys—neither of whom I had a strong feeling for one way or the other—would have been a better choice, primarily because neither of them sang in a frightened monotone while making robotic arm movements. Now, I'm sure that someone will swing by here and call me a bitch because, my God, Xenia is just a kid and I am just trying to break her down, but I promise you that I'm not trying to do anything but figure out what the hell Blake Shelton is smoking. Because I need some if I'm gonna have to watch this girl perform again.
I will give Christina props for making a good pick with Frenchie Davis—the only reasonable choice once Beverly McClellan got the fan save. We'll have to wait and see if Adam and Cee Lo also make the right choices for their teams next week. Cee Lo's final two should be Vicci Martinez and Nakia. The Thompson sisters could make it through because they're young and cute, which doesn't really make sense on a show called The Voice. Not to say that they didn't sing well, because they did. They're just no match for Vicci. As for Curtis Grimes, he's just straight-up terrible.
Adam's final two should be Casey Weston and Javier Colon, but I have a feeling that Middle America will be voting in droves for Jeff Jenkins because he mentioned two things that the voters love: Jesus and his dead mother. In fact, he's been talking about his dead mother since Day 1 and it's really on my nerves. Now, before you blast me for being a cold-hearted wench, you should know that I also have a dead mother. She died when I was four. But do I begin every blog post with a mention of that? No, I do not. Maybe if I did, I'd have four million followers by now.
So You Think You Can DanceIf there is one thing Nigel Lythgoe wants you to know about this season's Top 20, it's this: the girls are BEASTS. I guess they are, but there has to be a more appealing term to call them. I quite liked everyone on last night's show, although the duo that left me a bit cold was Ashley and Chris as the hip-hopping couple cheating on each other. The hip-hop routines are usually my favorites (I thought Ryan and Ricky's number was great) but this one was just trying to be too cutesy and it didn't seem like the dancers brought enough energy. So, if two people have to go home tonight, I think it should be them. I just hope Miranda doesn't get eliminated. I've gotta pull for her since she's a Pittsburgh girl! Well, if she had been terrible, I wouldn't be waving the Terrible Towel for her, but I thought she did a great job with the jive.
ETA: No one was eliminated. The judges love everyone.
I think everyone watching could agree that the best routine was the contemporary "statue" piece. Melanie and Marko were a beautiful duo, but the biggest props have to go to choreographer Travis Wall. It's interesting...I can't always see the difference between some of the other styles' choreographers, but I can always recognize a Travis number. He has a very distinct style. I feel the same way about Sonya Tayeh and Tabitha & Napoleon, too. Can't wait to see some of Nappytabs' work this season!
Comments
I've got my Thesaurus out these days so I can find some alternative superlatives for the dancing this season, and for the choreographers. Everyone is stepping up. The hyperbole is accurate...it's likely the best group of 20 from top to bottom of any season to date.
Apparently even TV is becoming a land where all of us are worthy of the highest praise no matter how much we suck at whatever talent we are supposedly expressing.
When it comes to people I love, I'm all Stuart Smalley. But when it comes to stuff occupying my "entertainment" attention, it's only fair for me to expect something. I'm not there for them; they're there for me. As such, I have a right to demand something resembling quality.
Which. Um. Is why I guess I mostly just watch ARCHER.
We're watching America's Got Talent. I loved the Silhouettes and the dork who set up the Popsicle sticks as if they were dominoes and they went off like a bizarre firework. True, I can't see that being a Vegas show or anything, but I liked watching the Popsicle sticks fly.