Wednesday, June 29, 2011

The Voice: Final Four Face Off

OK, you've got me. Despite my earlier protests, this is a full-fledged recap.

Last night, the final four contestants made their bids to become...THE VOICE. The three runners-up will get to keep their identities and probably get recording contracts anyway.

Each contestant sang an "original song" (not their own creations, but ones written by pop tunesmiths who are not named Kara DioGuardi, thank God) and a duet with his/her coach. And now, for all three of you who were up all night wondering what I thought of these performances, here are my rankings...

1. Dia Frampton
Original Song: B / Duet: A / Overall: B+

Even though the original "Inventing Shadows" sounded like a watered-down throwaway Coldplay track, she did a decent job with it. I agree with Christina and Adam that the silhouetted voguers behind her were just distracting (and stupid). If Blake wanted to get all literal with the whole shadow theme, he should have hired Silhouettes from America's Got Talent. However, Dia's performance with Blake was the best duet of the night. Tom Petty's "I Won't Back Down" was the perfect choice for them, and they showed off some terrific harmonies. It was good enough that I could overlook the cheesy Men In Black wardrobe styling.

2. Vicci Martinez
Original Song: B / Duet: B / Overall: B

So, I know Butch Walker produced Vicci's original "Afraid To Sleep," but I'm not sure who wrote it. I hope it wasn't Cee Lo because it was HORRIBLE. Seriously, it sounded like it took 10 minutes to write. I mean, it wasn't "No Boundaries," but it was pretty pathetic. Still, Vicci's powerhouse voice overcame the cliched lyrics and she turned in a memorable performance. And even though Cee Lo's Mad Max-esque staging of their "Love is a Battlefield" duet (not to mention that he seemed to be suffering from a sore throat) threatened to divert all the attention from Vicci's vocals, she sang the shit out of that song.

3. Javier Colon
Original Song: B / Duet: C+ /Overall: B-

OK, so you're noticing that I'm pretty much giving everyone a B for their original song. That's because these songs were obviously churned out very quickly and their crappiness shouldn't be used against the singers themselves. Javier's song, "Stitch By Stitch" was probably the most radio-friendly of all of them, and he gave a very solid performance. His and Adam's voices meshed together quite nicely on "Man in the Mirror" (no surprise that two guys with high voices can do well with a Michael Jackson tune). However, I am so sick of that song that I was practically willing myself to fall asleep during the performance.

4. Beverly McClellan
Original Song: B+ /Duet: D+/Overall: C+

I broke my original song B streak for Bev not because "Lovesick" was all that fantastic (it was a bit Velvet Revolver Lite), but because she gave a spirited performance and, as always, she sounded amazing. As for her duet of "Beautiful" with Christina, well, that was just sad. It wasn't really Beverly's fault, as she sounded fine, but Christina's concern about getting her own share of glory notes turned the could've-been-pretty acoustic arrangement into a big ol' mess.

So, who's gonna win this thing?

It pains me to have Beverly ranked last because I would love to see her take the prize, but I really don't see it happening. And as wonderful as Javier is, I don't see him winning either. You have to remember that The Voice has roughly the same audience as American Idol. And if Idol history has taught us anything, it's that gays and minorities do not get the votes, even if they have the voices. Sad and stupid, but true.

That leaves Vicci and Dia. Vicci has been one of my favorites from the beginning. I generally like Dia and think she has a very cute-indie-girl voice, but I hate the way she constantly gasps for air. And even though her original song is getting the most iTunes downloads and I have her ranked slightly above Vicci (based on last night's performances), my gut feeling is that Vicci is going to win.

*google google google*

Wait, what's this? Vicci's gay, too? Ohhhhh crap. How am I just finding this out now? (Maybe because it doesn't matter?) Well, this may swing the vote in Dia's favor, but I'm sticking with my gut. Since I didn't know Vicci was gay, maybe all those voters out in the cornfields didn't realize it either. She's winning.

I've been doing pretty good predicting this show thus far, so tonight we'll see if my final decision matches the rest of America.

For more recaps of The Voice, visit SirLinksaLot.


SkylersDad said...

I am hoping for Vicci, but my gut says Beverly.

Heather said...

I think it was Javier's to lose and he did. His solo performance on so-so. I think Vicci will win.

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

Okay last night was the first time I watched this show, as it falls under my aversion to all those reality competition shows, except occasionally So You Think You Can Dance, which I rarely admit to.

I loved Bev, and I love the song Beautiful, and yet the duet blue. I actually liked Javier best. But what do I know?

Heff said...

Yeah, I think they're gonna give it to the Lesbianic Bald chick.

Billy said...

I stumbled on this when I was lying prone on my couch last night. Decent songs. I was surprised Colon overcame Dia's very clear cuteness factor.

Strangest moment for me: When Blake tells Dia "You're family," and she looks like he just read off a few baseball statistics.

But this is because I hadn't seen a minute of any of this before last night.

And I kept asking myself, "What Would Amy Grant Think?" ;-)

McGone said...

The Girl watched this and by osmosis I absorbed some of it, but all I took from it was: That Dia girl is cute and makes me want to watch anything starring Summer Glau, the actress she was obviously cloned from.

SkylersDad said...

@McGone: Ha! Summer Glau as the female terminator had more emotional range than Dia!


Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

My photo
I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

What Do Others Think of BeckEye?

"You're like an idiot savant of terrible garbage entertainment." - Falwless

"You're my hero." - Candy

"Get yourself a life. Better yet.....eff off." - Ann Onymous

"There's no one like you." - Klaus Meine