Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Voice: Top 8 Non-Recap

While this post may seem like a recap, I must keep stressing that my musings on The Voice are not full-fledged recaps. They can't be. I can't give my entire life over to another karaoke TV show. I won't. These are merely, uh, recappish thoughts.

Still, I have to wonder if I shouldn't trade in my allegiance to American Idol for The Voice. Not because the caliber of singer is better (although in many cases, it is) but because the show makes me feel so damn smart. While my ability to predict Idol cast-offs has really started to slip over the last couple of years, I managed to correctly pick 7 of the The Voice's Top 8. And really, if Blake Shelton hadn't hit the pipe so hard last week, causing him to pick Xenia, I probably would have gone 8-8.

I have to cyber-pat Adam Levine on the back for not picking Jeff Jenkins, who couldn't sing a song without reminding everyone that his mother had died. Good for Adam for realizing that this is The Voice, not Pimp My Tragedy—a title that my niece, Miss T, recently came up with, which really should be a show. Believe me, there would be no shortage of auditioners. (Danny Gokey, Chris could be your second chance!!)

Speaking of Adam Levine, I have to just say that the most disturbing side effect of watching this show has been my growing attraction to him. I suppose if you do a search for Adam on my blog, you might find the word "turd" prefacing any mention of his or his terrible band's name. I guess I have to take it back for him. He seems like a nice guy—almost too spaced-out to be offensive—and I can't deny that he is pretty good looking. Plus, he has a certain smirky, self-effacing charm that I find extremely appealing. But I won't take anything back I've said about Maroon 5. Especially not after they (with some help from Xtina in a horribly unflattering shirt) performed their new single, "Moves Like Jagger," a song that sounded just like all of their other wannabe funk songs, which can be lyrically boiled down to Adam trying to convince everyone that he's really, really good in bed. Obviously, sex is a common theme in music, but you could even find more variety in AC/DC's catalog.

And now, my team rankings...

#1 - Christina's Team
I'm not a huge fan of Christina, her clown makeup and constant posing, but the girl picked a good team. Her two remaining contestants, Frenchie Davis and Beverly McClellan, are arguably the two best vocalists in the competition. It's a tough call for who will come out as the finalist. It kind of sucks that they're on the same team, because I'd love to see both ladies in the finals. As much as I love Frenchie (her "churchy" performance of the Vatican's favorite Madonna song, "Like a Prayer" was great), I have to give the edge to Beverly. She's obviously a fan favorite (earning the voters' save last week) and her performances always seem so genuine and effortless. But I'll just cover my bases here and say that the bald one will make the cut.

Frenchie Davis, "Like a Prayer"
Beverly McClellan, "The Thrill is Gone"

#2 - Cee Lo's Team
Before I even started watching this show, I wanted Cee Lo to win, just because I adore him. I'm not sure any of the judges' contestants can match Christina's girls, but Cee Lo has the best shot. First up was big, bad Nakia, whose cover of Adam Lambert's "Whataya Want From Me" wasn't my favorite of his performances, but it was still pretty entertaining. (I had to laugh when Adam Levine said that even though he never heard that song, it was probably better than the original. The image of 5,000 Glamberts simultaneously making glittery bitch-faces as they bang out angry tweets is pretty hilarious.) I feel kind of the same way about Vicci Martinez' performance of Florence + The Machine's "Dog Days Are Over"—it was an odd choice for her, and I don't think it really showed off the full power of her voice. But she was still entertaining. Again, it's going to be hard to pick a winner between these two because they're both deserving of a spot in the finals and are clearly both liked, but I'm gonna say that Vicci will prevail because she was the voters' pick last week and got the pimp spot this week. Also, Nakia has a great voice and seems like a good dude, but some of his stage moves (like, "I'm so mad, I'm gonna kick over this piano bench!") can seem a bit contrived.

Nakia, "Whataya Want From Me"
Vicci Martinez, "Dog Days Are Over"

#3 - Adam's Team
I think it's pretty clear that Javier Colon will easily take the final spot on Adam's team, unless boys hot for Casey Weston vote in droves. (And if this show has primarily the same audience as Idol, we all know that boys do not vote. At least not as much as girls and horny houswives.) I think Casey is a good singer and she did a good job last night, but Javier has a better voice, better stage presence and more experience. And he took off his hat to reveal a bald head. The baldies are IN IT TO WIN IT this year!

Casey Weston, "I Will Always Love You"
Javier Colon, "Fix You"

#4 - Blake's Team
If Dia Frampton doesn't get the final spot, the world has gone mad. I'm sure Xenia is a very nice kid, but she needs to just finish high school, take some more singing lessons and stop being so darn awkward. Yes, like everyone says, she has an interesting tone. But she doesn't sound different from everyone else, like Blake keeps insisting. She's like the musical baby of Zooey Deschanel and James Morrison, but with much less range. And neither of those singers have that much range to begin with. (Zooey, don't be mad. You're still at the top of my lesbian list.)

Dia Frampton, "Losing My Religion"
Xenia, "The Man Who Can't Be Moved"

Now, can someone please explain what that was on Christina's head last night?

For (full-fledged) recaps of The Voice, visit SirLinksaLot.


Alison said...

Very nice read here! I completely agree with you about Adam, he does get nicer to look at as the show continues on! Lol. I've enjoyed this show from the beginning and can't wait to see who takes home the win. I don't have a favorite but I do have a liking to Xenia. Once she gets a little more practice I'm sure she'll be a star outside of the show and I can't wait to listen to her first CD! Like most people I'm not home in time to watch the live shows, so lucky for me I subscribe/work with DISH Network and use their online site I love it because it's free and makes it easy to watch on the go away from home. Check it out &uhm=socme. :)

tennysoneehemingway said...

Aaaaah, that's the stuff. BeckEye, you're the only drug I need.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Haha, dude, Zooey has ZERO range and can barely hold a tune! I like her stuff really but a singer? No. Come to think of it, she's not exactly an actor either... Pretty though.

Flame on.

Heff said...

Yep, You're right. Xtina currently has a GREAT PAIR !

SkylersDad said...

We have been watching this from the start. I like Vicci the best, even though the last performance was a big odd.

I like that Adam was honest enough to admit that he swayed his vote for Javier because he wants to see him have success and Casey is young enough that she will get other chances.

Anonymous said...

I don't understand how Xenia made it so far on the show other than Blake's fascination with her. The girl can't entertain. How voice is BORING. She sings the same monotone on every song she sings. She never changes or facial expression and she looks like she shouldn't be there. All the other singers on the show have talent, she doesn't.


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