Friday, February 24, 2012

American Idol 11: Now With 25% More Transcendence!

On last night’s American Idol, things picked up where they left off on Wednesday night: with Adam Brock weeping hysterically. He really wants to be in the Top 24. He needs to be in the Top 24. Singing is his life! He loves to sing! He loves to sing-ah! About the moon-ah and the June-ah and the spring-ah! And in a very anti-climactic moment (for the 98% of us who already knew who the Top 24 were), the judges stopped his blubbering with the announcement that he’d made the cut.

In a much more bearable hour-long episode, the remaining 10 finalists were chosen. Here’s how things went down:


  • Some girls no one ever cared about
  • Scott Dangerfield – In a season rife with last year’s leftovers, this is one who actually didn’t make it.
  • Jermaine Jones – There wasn’t really any room for him considering they already put through a church singer (Joshua Ledet). Upon being cut, he cried, but not nearly as much as Adam Brock did when he was saved.
  • Ariel Sprague and Shelby Tweten – I don’t really care about Shelby, but I thought Ariel was awesome during the Vegas rounds. I don’t mind that the final spot went to Hollie Cavanagh (more on her in a bit), but it’s a shame that Ariel was dumped when there are at least two girls in the Top 24 who don’t deserve to be there: Brielle Von Hugel and Skylar Laine.
  • David Leathers, Jr. – Bah. I liked this kid. Much better than the one who got the final spot on the boys’ side.
In the Top 24
  • Jeremy Rosado – I never had much of an opinion on this guy, but his last solo was really good. J.Lo called it “transcendental,” proving that she can read a dictionary, but not that she can understand it. But you just know that the other two judges will be so impressed with the sound of that word that it will replace “brilliant” this season as the usual overblown description of choice when describing very average performances.
  • Shannon Magrane – I still don’t see the big deal with this girl. She’s so average. But she’s blonde and ZOMG, only 16, yo!!
  • Skylar Laine – She tried really hard to be Reba McIntyre and it was good enough for the idiot judges.
  • Hallie Day, Chase Likens and Aaron Marcellus were all put through with no fanfare.
  • Deandre Brackensick – More leftovers. I don’t have strong feelings for Deandre one way or the other, but I have to admit that I’m a sucker for a good falsetto.
  • Hollie Cavanagh – And even more leftovers! I actually really liked her last year and thought she should have made it, so I’m glad that she’s back. It’s weird that she’s pretty much been hidden from the viewers until last night, though.
  • Eben Franckewitz – Ugggh. I guess he sang well enough, but the world just doesn’t need another Justin Bieber. It never needed the first one.
Remember when Ryan Seacrest promised us on Wednesday that there would be a SHOCKING TURN OF EVENTS? Well, here it is: Steven Tyler ended the show by stripping down, showing off his tragically bony (I imagine) ass and taking a swim in the raging waters surrounding Idol Island.

No, wait. That wasn’t very shocking. Maybe it was this: Seacrest announced that one more guy is going to be invited back to make it a Top 13 guys. That’s not very shocking either. But it’s certainly necessary, because men NEVER win American Idol and they need all the advantages they can get. Whatever. It’s going to be one of these four: David Leathers, Jr., Johnny Keyser, Jermaine Jones or Richie Law. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for David, but with my luck it will be Johnny Coppertone or McCreepy 2.0.

So, for better or worse, here is your Top 24, America:

Row 1: Aaron Marcellus, Adam Brock, Baylie Brown, Brielle Von Hugel, Chase Likens, Chelsea Sorrell.
Row 2: Colton Dixon, Creighton Fraker, Deandre Brackensick, Eben Franckewitz, Elise Testone, Erika Van Pelt.
Row 3: Hallie Day, Haley Johnsen, Heejun Han, Hollie Cavanagh, Jen Hirsh, Jeremy Rosado.
Row 4: Jessica Sanchez, Joshua Ledet, Phil Phillips, Reed Grimm, Shannon Magrane, Skylar Laine.

Find more Idol news and recaps at SirLinksaLot.


Cora said...

Yeah, what's up with them adding an extra dude?! The last FOUR YEARS have all been won by white guys, so I don't see why they need to give the guys a larger piece of the pie this year too.

It just better not be McCreepy 2.0!!!!

Scope said...

1 - This counts as their one save.
2 - That America gets to cut 3 guys and 2 gals the first week, so that things level out.

dmarks said...

I still have not watched "Idol" yet. Steve Tyler has Elven lineage (father of one). Yet he more closely resembles a Marsh Wiggle of Narnia. One of those tall froglike beings.


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