Well, I hate to say I toldja so (even though I love when my predictions are right), but our little Skylar was forced to fly the American Idol coop last night. I'll make another prediction right now: she'll be more successful than whoever actually wins this show. I don't care whether you love or loathe country music, but it is undeniably the most popular genre in the United States. And it's also very good to people who want to be a part of it. I think all of the country Idol cast-offs got record deals after their seasons and are still making a decent musical living. (Not everyone can be a Carrie Underwood or Kellie Pickler, but the world needs its Josh Gracins and Bucky Covingtons, too...for some reason.)
Speaking of country, Carrie Underwood returned to the Idol stage to perform her new single, "Blown Away," which I guess is about the terrible Oklahoma weather or something. Perhaps it needed Lauren Alaina in the wings squeezing out fake tears for all the tornado victims, because it actually just came off as an ode to the wind machine that threatened to blow her dress away.
There wasn't much else to report from last night's results show, other than, YO, DAWG! IT WAS LIKE WE WERE AT A COLDPLAY CONCERT! Yeah, U2 Lite got special treatment and graced us with two songs that no one could tell apart. Neither of them were about tornadoes. At least I don't think so.
On to Top 4 Week, the theme of which will be "songs by California artists." No word on whether there will be a second or even third theme since there will be more time to kill and everyone might be performing three songs now. Well, the bassist from the Dave Matthews Band is from California, so if the other two themes are "songs by South African artists" and "songs by artists who have emptied a busload of shit-water on unsuspecting tourists," Phillips will have it made!
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I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.