Let The Male Bashing Begin

Actually, this post isn't really meant to be an exercise in male-bashing, I just thought it was a catchy title that would bring in some readers. Yeah yeah, I'm so shameless. Although I've known my share of jagoffs in my day, I'm not ready to lump all men into the same category. However, it seems that there is an overabundance of male celebrities who give men all over the world a bad name. So, we'll call this celebrity male-bashing. And I'm not even going after Tom Cruise this time!

Just recently, Jude Law announced to the world that he cheated on his fiancee, Sienna Miller, with his nanny. I don't know which is less surprising - the fact that such a rich, spoiled, gorgeous man would have an affair or that he did it with the nanny. Isn't sleeping with the babysitter the ultimate cliche? Just once I would like to hear about a movie star having a tryst with his 50 year old Guatemalan laundry lady. At any rate, this recent tabloid story begs the question: Why are some men never happy?

Most women feel societal pressure to be as sexy and attractive as they can be. The idea is never put forth in an effort to build up their self-esteem. The messages that we as women get from the media and the general public do not focus on telling us that if we look good, we feel good, hence looking our best is the easiest route to boosting our confidence. Everything revolves around telling women to look good simply because we're expected to look good, especially by the opposite sex. The basic idea is, if you don't look hot no one will want you. But how does this work in the glam world of celebrities? Just look at Sienna Miller. She's gorgeous. Most women would kill to look like her. Most men would kill a small animal to be with her. And here comes Jude Law (who was already rumored to have cheated more than once on his ex-wife), possibly even prettier than Sienna is, who nabs her but still feels compelled to look elsewhere. This makes being an "average" woman seem a little hopeless, doesn't it?

The most obvious example of the never-satisfied man is that tattooed walking penis, Tommy Lee. He was married to Heather Locklear and Pamela Anderson and cheated on both of them! Now, these two women alone have probably fueled more masturbatory fantasies than the entire rest of the Maxim Hot 100 list combined. And this is a guy who, if he hadn't made it big as a musician, would probably be a drug-addled, toothless carny today. Yet, he manages to effortlessly lure in women on the strength of his rock star status. (Oh yeah, and apparently he's hung like a horse.) But he somehow snags the two women who most men in America consider "the ultimate" in hotness, but they're just not hot enough to keep him interested. It's mind-boggling.

Why then do women have to feel such pressure to look their best when even someone like Heather Locklear can't keep a man? If all it takes is to have a beautiful face and a hot bod, certainly these gorgeous models and actresses would never have a problem in the fidelity department. Obviously, looks aren't everything. But they're certainly something. So what the hell do men want? I've heard several tales of men who "traded up" after they became famous, by ditching their wives and girlfriends for hot celeb chicks. Yet the guys who already have hot chicks still can't keep it in their pants. Sure, a pretty smile and rock hard abs aren't enough to keep a man interested forever. There has to be some substance. But, men usually don't go for a roll in the hay with someone to find substance. I guarantee you Jude Law wasn't lying in bed with the nanny talking about the war in Iraq. So what are they looking for? I'm inclined to believe that in the case of famous men, they just feel as if they're entitled to everything, including all the sex they can handle. They cheat because they don't like being told what not to do and, more to the point, because they can. These are men who always get what they want because being a celebrity means never having to be accountable for one's actions. And in the end, it's not so much about the women as it is about themselves. It's all about that hungry beast known as the ego. They want to see what they can get, who they can get it from and how much they can get away with.

I know that there are plenty of females out there guilty of the same type of behavior. However, when this kind of thing hits the tabloids, it's generally presented with a "well, boys will be boys" sort of attitude when it's a man cheating on his significant other. When it's a woman doing the dirty deed, she's labeled a bed-hopping skank. Now, this is a double standard that permeates our entire culture, so I won't really get into that or I could be here for days. The point is that affairs have become so commonplace these days that a lot of people act like they should be awarded medals for simply not cheating. And when these stories of celebrity hijinx are splattered all over gossip rags and TV shows, just the juciest details are given out. We never get to see the actual fallout from these illicit liaisons, so it's almost fueling the idea for us average schlubs that being faithful isn't really that big a deal. Especially when a lot of these guys end up back with the girlfriend/wife that they cheated on or they find a hotter, even more famous chick to comfort them. It makes it all look so glamorous, no?

Now, some smart ass will probably ask me if I were married or in a serious relationship and inexplicably presented with the opportunity to sleep with John Travolta or Eddie Vedder, would I do it? Well, let me just answer that right now with a resounding....pleading of the 5th.