Saturday, November 19, 2005

From The Sexiest Man Alive to Men with...Something

OK folks, time for me to lay it all on the line here. I like hot men. All girls do. I also like funny men. I always say that a good sense of humor is the most important quality for a man to have, and most people probably think I'm full of it. But, I'm going to prove to you right now that I'm not that superficial by listing my strange celebrity crushes. These are guys who I'm digging right now (or have dug for a while), who are not the typical Hollywood idols. Then, if you are curious about what my idea of "hot" is, check out my old post The Pop Eye Hot 10. A post which, I just noticed, has a glaring John Taylor. Well, whatever. He knows he's hot.

And now without further ado, and for lack of a better title, The Pop Eye Lukewarm 10:

Chris Parnell - Chris has been a cast member of Saturday Night Live for the past eight years. Actually, I think he either was fired or quit, but then brought back soon after. Good move on their part. He's one of the funniest guys they have! After Will Ferrell left (another not-so-sexy guy, but who's on my "marriage-material" list) the show really lost a lot of it's lustre. It seems to be in another one of those slumps that it goes through every now and again. Now, I know it's "hip" to pick on SNL but I refuse to do it. They still come up with some funny stuff. Anyway, I absolutely adore this guy. He's hilarious. He seems to have a very self-depracating sense of humor which is oddly attractive. What can I say...I love the comedians.

Seth Meyers - Sticking with SNL cast members for a moment, I'd also like to give a shout-out to Seth. Now, I actually do find him rather cute, even without the funny. Not gorgeous, but definitely handsome. Although, he was doing an impression of Ty Pennington on the show one time and took his shirt off and I must say....that impression certainly left an impression! The guy is ripped! Being a lover of all things Irish, I especially enjoy his character Patrick Fitzwilliam (or was he William Fitzpatrick?) on the fake show, "Top O' the Mornin'". He also played the host of a home-improvement show spoof, "You Call This a House, Do Ya?". Good stuff, good stuff. But, he totally won me over when he played a Pittsburgh Steeler fan trying to hit on Paris Hilton (oh yeah, she was a fantastic host) in a bar. He had the Pittsburgh accent, which most people don't know we have, totally down. Or I guess I should say, in Pittsburghese, "he had it totally dahn 'n at". I believe Seth is from Boston, but his dead-on portrayal of a Pittsburgh schlub makes me wonder if he ever lived here or has friends from here. Seth, you need to call me so we can talk.

Gabriel Byrne - Ooh...a saucy, older, Irish gentleman. Not too many women I know find Gabriel attractive. I can't figure out why that is. I think he's hot. So yes, he does appeal to my superficial side, but he still belongs on the list because he's not on a million other "hot" lists. God, I love that accent. He's not particularly funny, but he's a good actor. He's always "the troubled guy" or "the guy with the shady past". Those parts suit him well.

Craig Ferguson - Now here's a guy who I think could be Gabriel Byrne's brother, or at least his long lost cousin. They have some similar features. Again, I'm a sucker for the dark hair and the accent. His is Scottish, which is a wee bit different, but it's close enough. I rarely watch his Late Late Show, but the few times I've seen it, he seems to be a pretty comical guy. People say he was funny on The Drew Carey Show, but I never watched that either.

Ryan Stiles - Another veteran of that Drew Carey show I've never seen, Ryan is my favorite guy on the other Drew Carey show, Whose Line is it Anyway?. Now, that show is a total crack-up. It gets a bit much now that the Family Channel has started airing like, twenty episodes in a row every day of the week, but I still enjoy it now and then. Everyone on that show is great, but I find Ryan the most consistently funny one. I just love his style of humor - sort of naughty, but with a kind of deadpan, sarcastic delivery. He's not a giant show-off, he will just sit there quietly and then hit everyone with a great line. Yeah, he's kind of a big, lanky doofus, but I love him.

The Sprint Guy - I don't know who this guy is or where he came from, but he could sell me a phone any day. There's just something about him that's kind of hot. Those commercials are a little annoying, but I like him. He couldn't steal me away from Catherine and T-Mobile, but I wouldn't dissuade him from trying.

Barry Bostwick - This one requires some explanation. Many, many years ago, probably when I was still a teenager or in my early twenties, I had an erotic dream about Barry. To this day, I have no idea how that happened. Of all the people to pop into my head at night, I never imagined that it would've been Barry Bostwick. I've never even really seen any of his movies. I saw The Rocky Horror Picture Show and this really bad movie about a crazy babysitter, but other than that I'm really not familiar with his work. Still, Barry wasn't a bad looking guy back in the day. He's a little wrinkly now, and the ultra-white hair is a bit scary, but being that he's almost 60 he still looks pretty good for his age. Besides, he played Danny Zuko on Broadway, so he's all right in my book. (Oh yeah, and the dream sex was good!)

Dave Grohl - Dave kind of looks like a cross between Jerry Seinfeld and that guy from Average Joe, with a touch of Midwest trucker. So yeah, he probably isn't the most attractive guy in rock and roll, but he's no Steven Tyler. I was never a huge fan of Nirvana, and I will just skate past the whole Nirvana vs Pearl Jam debate that I usually get sucked into, but I appreciated them. I'm not a hardcore Foo Fighters fan, but I do like a lot of their songs. I think Grohl is a pretty talented man. But what I like most about him is that he is insanely funny. If the videos for "Big Me" or "Learn to Fly" didn't tip you off to that fact, just watch him anytime he's on a talk show. If he's ever on the same night as a stand-up comedian, I guarantee you he'll get more laughs than the professional funnyman. He's just kind of insane and goofy, and I love that! My only gripe - he chews his gum like a cow.

Josh Homme - Josh is the lead singer of Queens of the Stone Age, a band that Dave Grohl was also in for a short time. I normally don't like redheads, and like most of them, this guy has that semi-Howdy Doody thing going on. Still, there's something very attractive about him. I think it's his arms. I tend to fixate on that whole arm/shoulder/neck/upper chest region...and Josh has a nice area there.

Gale Hansen - You may recognize Gale as Charlie from Dead Poet's Society. I have no idea what he looks like now, and don't even know if he's still acting. I've never seen him in anything else. I'll tell you this though, he absolutely made that movie. Robin Williams was somewhat restrained, thank God, and Ethan Hawke was apparently the "star" as far as the younger cast was concerned, but Gale Hansen is the one who stood out to me. His portrayal of the goofy, rebellious, horny, smart-ass, kind of smug but loyal kid was just perfect. I don't know if he's really cute or if the character was just so fun that I just started thinking that he was cute, but I always wished that a student like Charlie would've sat next to me in high school.


Blei said...

Interesting Blog I'll check back

Homer Jay said...

I used to play Brad in the floor show at the RHPS. Yep, ran around in my tighty whities and everything. I got stuck w/ that part because everyone said I looked like Barry Bostwick. Back then. I've put on a few pounds since then.

ShellBug526 said...

I love David Grohl!! I also agree that Gabriel Byrne is a hottie.

Henri Banks said...

Beckeye Art at the next page

BeckEye said...

Bleiblog - Thanks for stopping by.

Homer - You didn't put a pickle in your undies for that part, did you?

Shellbug - The Irish accent gets me every time.

Doctor - Hee hee hee...ha ha....oh my. My big ol' noggin is even bigger! Well thanks...I feel like a muse now. Just like in Xanadu.

Teri said...

I'm almost celebrity crush-less. My crushes are limited to Pierce Brosnan and John Taylor - and both are holdovers from my teenage years. The accent thing though? Swoon. Even if the guy is butt-ugly, if I close my eyes and listen for long enough, I wind up falling half in love with him.

Lee Ann said...

Ryan Stiles is one of the funniest men around. I love watching anything he does.
I am still laughing from your comment that you made on The Doctor of the White Trash's Blog. haha...I am still giggling! You should see what he did to me!

The Village Idiot said...

Damn, I was sure I would make the list this year!

Oh well, there's always next year.

the village idiot

Brent McKee said...

I've had an ongoing crush on the Sprint Guy's wife, Terry Farrell.

LoraLoo said...

Dave Grohl - definite hottie with a sense of humor. (Not to mention talented musician!)

pia said...

When Gabriel Byrne was younger and married to Ellen Barkin before she went for mucho money--Ronald Perlman--he was totally hot.

Writeprocrastinator said...

"Now, I know it's "hip" to pick on SNL but I refuse to do it."

The original cast set such a high standard...well. The thing is every year I meet someone who says, "the cast was so much better five years ago, I don't watch it now." Yet they still watch it because they make that same statement to me year after year. It's kind of like tabloids, no one will actually admit to reading the things and somehow there are still millions sold a week.

I know part of the thrill is that yet another Will Ferrell or Tina Fey or Eddie Murphy will eventually emerge and everyone wants to be the one to say they saw them first.

"this guy has that semi-Howdy Doody thing going on."

Tell the truth, Beck, it has nothing to do with looks and everything to do with the way the guy croons "The Art of Keeping a Secret" and "No One Knows." I can't stand it when women do that ; )

BeckEye said...

Teri - Pierce is ok, but there's something a little stuffy about him that I don't like. Now John Taylor...yowsa.

Lee ann - I love that guy. I have a friend who is better looking than Ryan, but he still reminds me of him. He always takes it as an insult. Obviously it's not an insult coming from me.

Village Idiot - You're on your way, kid.

Brent - Ok, I know who she is...but still have no idea who the guy is. I wonder if he's a real actor who had to legally change his name to "The Sprint Guy".

Loraloo - I see we have some Dave Grohl lovers in the house! He has the greatest sense of humor.

Pia - Eeewwww I can't stand Ellen Barkin. She has a weird, rubbery face. I think Gabriel is hot at any age.

Writeprocrastinator - The thing about SNL is, it's so topical. Even if the original cast was really "the best", if you watch the reruns now, a lot of the jokes are just stale or completely lost on the younger generation. There are always some skits that hold up over the years, but that's why they have those "Best Of" DVDs.
As far as Josh goes...well, yeah I'm a sucker for musicians, always have been! More than his voice, I like the way he practically molests the microphone when he's singing. ;)

Kate said...

I think we roughly have the same taste in guys, Miss BeckEye! John Taylor, Eddie Vedder, Dave Grohl, Jason Lee. I'd also have to add Ethan Hawke, Mike Myers and Jimmy Fallon for myself.

Doggie Extraordinaire's Mom said...

Wow, that's some fascinating taste in men. Very eclectic! Although I didn't know who half those guys were, I can see you have diverse taste.

I love Dave Grohl because he has that adorable, awkwardness to him that he embraces. Gotta love that.

BeckEye said...

Kate - Great minds think alike. I used to like Ethan Hawke...not so much any more. Jimmy Fallon is a cutie. Mike Myers I'm not sure of.

Librarian - And people tell me I'm too picky! I'm really not...I just only seem to attract the same type of jerkoff all the time.

Brent McKee said...

Sprint Guy's real name (thanks IMDB) is Brian Baker. His filmography consists of one extremely low budget film called Feeding Mikey and guest appearances in about seven series. Being the Sprint Guy seems to be his main job, but everybody knows him even if they don't know his name.


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