Monday, February 19, 2007

Oops, I Shaved Off My Hair

My creativity is waning. That's really the best title I could come up with for this post.

So, everyone knows by now that Britney Spears is a big baldy. Is it just me or does she kind of look like Justin Timberlake's evil twin now?

I'm not going to spend too much time on this topic because A. I'm at work, B. It's my birthday, bitches, and C. I'm already two days behind the times, so why knock myself out? I was at the bar on Saturday night when I heard the news. I don't have one of those Crackberries, so I couldn't hurry up and scoop Perez Hilton. Plus, I was convinced that the pictures were doctored and that the whole thing was a hoax. My first instinct is to dismiss everything as complete bunk. The older I get, the less trusting I become.

Anyway, who knows what Brit's problem is these days. Now that she's gone Sinead O'Connor on us, every pyschotherapist is coming out of the woodwork to throw their two cents into any news story in the "Has Britney gone crazy?" vein. She has post-partum depression. She's tired of her image. She's on drugs. She's a good old- fashioned attention whore. Maybe she's just a big Chris Daughtry fan? Who knows? The conjecture is non-stop. Does it really matter? She's bald and we get to point and laugh at her. Occasionally she does give the people what they want.

My theory on why she shaved? She just wanted the carpet to match the drapes. It's important to have a matching set if you're going to be running all over town pantiless.


Les Becker said...

I think she looks tre cool. I did the same thing in 2001 and I looked tre cool, as well. I've been wanting to do it again, in fact, but the bitch pre-empted me and I will not be upstaged by BS. No. Way.

Anonymous said...

Now every part of her body is round and hairless. She looks like a big stick of white trash deoderant.


Turnbaby said...


OMG We think WAY too much alike. That is EXACTLY what i said when someone told me. Then i threw up a little in my mouth cause the visual--ergh


I didn't know or i'd a baked a cake.

Travis said...

Came over from Turnbaby's place. It was so worth it just to read that carpet matching drapes crack.


Oh - following instructions - Happy Birthday!

Les Becker said...

Well, shit. I don't "do" birthdays, myself, so that little bit of info kind of slipped right by me. I'm sorry. Hope yours is a happy kind of thing, and that you get cool stuff, etc. etc. etc. Don't set your hair on fire.

Writeprocrastinator said...

First...Happy, Happy, Birthday!

Second, why are you working on your birthday???

Third, maybe Britney just needs a hug...and two less of those green pills.

Lizza said...

Excellent theory. I never did see her carpeting (or lack thereof), though I hear it's splashed all over the Net.

Came over via the lovely Turnbaby.

Hope you have a great day. Happy Birthday!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I hope it was a boffo birthday, you sassy thang!

I guess the question still remains though, should someone with such a knobby head go hairless - she looks kinda like an alien.

Happy Villain said...

Happy Birthday!

Thanks for pointing out the carpet matching the drapes look she's sporting. Now I have a whole new arena full of names to call her that will reference this connection. Excellent!

Dale said...

The pictures do look photoshopped. I'd have believed it more if you broke the story, Crackberry or not! Snappy Birthday!

LoraLoo said...

I think she's just washed up, and sad.

On a much, much better note: Happy Birthday!!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday. I'm a lose I forgot to say Happy Birthday. I'm going to rub lanolin on Britney now.

Wow, in an odd way that sounds erotic.



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