Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Caption Crotchtest Contest #1

"Gee, I've never done it with just one guy, and while I was FACING him, before."




And there you have it, kids - the winning caption! There were many good ones, but this one just made me laugh the hardest. Really, it was a toss-up between this one and Deadspot's very timely fusion of Lindsay's antics with Britney's most recent missive. However, there can be only one winner, so victory belongs to Happy Villain!

Happy Villain, you have won the coveted "Firecrotch of the Month" award. You will be featured in my sidebar in all your glory until the next caption contest comes along. (Actually, that's just a generic cartoon "you," but it's not my fault that you choose to hide your lovely countenance from Blogland.) Here is your Official Firecrotch seal...wear it loud, wear it proud.



Thanks to my eldest bro, Mr. Yak, for the graphic. It and the sidebar showcase may get spiffier eventually, but right now my template is giving me a headache.

27 comments:

Rhetorically Sterculian said...

Alas, my ignorance of pop culture shall rear its ugly head yet again. I assume "Li-Lo" is a pseudoacronym for somebody who because of ignominy is no longer allowed to 'act up', like anyone of us can and often do, with impunity and without camera flashes, yes?

I got to come first!
this time.
I read your tags, now I know who it is.

Rhetorically Sterculian said...

I seem to always be defending the less fortunate and conspicuously ostentatious glitterati.
Does this make me a bad person?
Apologies, I do not have to go to work until November, I've nothing else with which to occupy my time.

EBEZP said...

Let me just smoke this then I'll put some knickers on!

Karen said...

But how exactly can we say for sure it's her? Unless she's lying 1/2 asleep, passed out in a drunken stupor in the passenger seat of a car, coke dust just above her top lip sans underwear, I can't say that that is indeed Lindsay.

deadspot said...

"I apologize to the pap for a stunt that was done 4 July regarding a cabana boy. I was preparing my character for a role in a movie where I wear a short dress and no panties accidentally. I take all my roles very seriously and got a little carried away. Unfortunately I didn't get the part."

Writeprocrastinator said...

This is the sole position where my crotch won't catch on fire...











dammit, what am I doing? I'm helping the enemy (Paris)!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

"Do me now or I'll put this cigarette out on your crotch this time! Now who's the firecrotch, bitch?"

- or something along those lines.

You'd think that someone who gets photographed so often would know enough to do something about those scaly elbows, wouldn't you?

cube said...

Last place in the Fart Lighting Contest?

That's all I've got.

Splotchy said...

"squirt"

Chancelucky said...

It's clear to me that Ms. Lohan sprained her ankle and was just being carried away from the party. I really liked the Parent Trap. It would be very fun to see her in another identical twins movie with the good Lyndsay and the party girl Lyndsay.

Flannery Alden said...

Eek! A mouse!

Beth said...

Rehab, schmehab. I'm still a f*cked-up whore.

Brent McKee said...

What do you mean I'll need to learn the Spanish for "It burns when I pee?"

chelene said...

I wish I had something witty but I'm so done with her. She's got her legs wide open every five minutes. It's like clockwork.

Happy Villain said...

I hate calling another woman a slut, but you have to qualify as a woman for me to feel that way. SO...

"Gee, I've never done it with just one guy, and while I was FACING him before."

I had another one about inserting that cigarette where the sun doesn't shine, but I'll stop now.

Edge said...

I would captian it but I'm in polite company.

~Jef

Artful Dodger said...

I guess my tag would be:
"You see, rehab does work"

Ack..that's no good, must think of something else.

Molie said...

Linds is playing that age old playground favorite, "don't touch the ground it's hot lava."

Coaster Punchman said...

"Can you believe that bitch Hayley Mills called ME a slut?"

Beth said...

I'm jealous. That IS a brilliant caption.

Rhetorically Sterculian said...

coaster punchman - I will not hear a disparaging word regarding my childhood JOV Hayley Mills.
"The Trouble With Angels" and "The Parent Trap" were responsible for the deaths of the many trees needed to make the copious Kleenex required.

deadspot said...

Nice, CP.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Nicely done, Happy Villain! You managed to portray our heroine in an almost virginal light.

Happy Villain said...

*blush* Oh, thank you for finding my vicious humor funny. I'm honored to have made BeckEye laugh, but to win is an absolute treasure. And, can I just say that you chosing the librarian doll is awesome! Thanks again!

X. Dell said...

Congratulations to both Happy Villain and Deadspot.

Your brother really did a good job on the graphic. He really makes your firecrtoch come alive.

Writeprocrastinator said...

Let me get this straight, you were raised with a "yak" and a "dutch?" That must have been an interesting childhood.

BeckEye said...

Thanks to everyone who participated, and congrats to Happy Villain - the winner!

For those of you who aren't convinced that that pic is of Lindsay (*coughKarencough*), here is the link with all of the shots from that skank-a-riffic July 4th party.

 

Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

My photo
I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

What Do Others Think of BeckEye?

"You're like an idiot savant of terrible garbage entertainment." - Falwless

"You're my hero." - Candy

"Get yourself a life. Better yet.....eff off." - Ann Onymous

"There's no one like you." - Klaus Meine