I have some fantastic news for you, my lovely readers. I was recently asked to pose for some photos in Allure magazine, as part of their "Bodacious Babes of Blogdom" spread. And, as Tyra Banks would say, here's my best shot...
What, you don't believe that's really me? Ok, you caught me. It's Britney Spears. But, come on, it actually looks more like me than it does Britney. Hell, with all that's been manipulated in this photo, it could very well be Abe Vigoda. The "making of" this picture should really be featured in the next Dove "Evolution" ad.
While Brit could fake the pix, there was no faking the accompanying interview. Since Spears never bothered to show up for any of her appointments with Allure's Judith Newman, the writer just turned in an essay about her thwarted attempts to meet with America's Favorite Train Wreck. Brit had plenty of lame reasons for not showing up and, not surprisingly, not one of them involved spending time with her kids. One of her excuses was that she was held up by "important work in the recording studio." Mmm hmm. Look, unless Britney has taken a job as a cleaning woman at a recording studio, she has no "important" work to do there. She's never done anything of any value there before, and odds are that she never will. Proving that point, the pap tracked her down a few hours later - not at the studio - but at a salon getting her nails done. (Brit's a big fan of the Cheeto powder extraction-and-French manicure combo deal.) In response to all this mess, Allure editor-in-chief declared that, "Britney has long lost her role-model status." I'm sorry, did I black out for a few years? When was Britney a role model? This is like saying that K-Fed has lost his "respected musician" status.
And for anyone who has been wondering what K-Fed has been up to, he just landed a recurring role on One Tree Hill as a "cocky rock singer." Those of you who don't think that's much of an acting stretch obviously haven't heard any of his "music."
Oh, and look! Not to be outdone by his ex, K-Fed recently posed for a spread in GQ.
What, you don't believe that's really me? Ok, you caught me. It's Britney Spears. But, come on, it actually looks more like me than it does Britney. Hell, with all that's been manipulated in this photo, it could very well be Abe Vigoda. The "making of" this picture should really be featured in the next Dove "Evolution" ad.
While Brit could fake the pix, there was no faking the accompanying interview. Since Spears never bothered to show up for any of her appointments with Allure's Judith Newman, the writer just turned in an essay about her thwarted attempts to meet with America's Favorite Train Wreck. Brit had plenty of lame reasons for not showing up and, not surprisingly, not one of them involved spending time with her kids. One of her excuses was that she was held up by "important work in the recording studio." Mmm hmm. Look, unless Britney has taken a job as a cleaning woman at a recording studio, she has no "important" work to do there. She's never done anything of any value there before, and odds are that she never will. Proving that point, the pap tracked her down a few hours later - not at the studio - but at a salon getting her nails done. (Brit's a big fan of the Cheeto powder extraction-and-French manicure combo deal.) In response to all this mess, Allure editor-in-chief declared that, "Britney has long lost her role-model status." I'm sorry, did I black out for a few years? When was Britney a role model? This is like saying that K-Fed has lost his "respected musician" status.
And for anyone who has been wondering what K-Fed has been up to, he just landed a recurring role on One Tree Hill as a "cocky rock singer." Those of you who don't think that's much of an acting stretch obviously haven't heard any of his "music."
Oh, and look! Not to be outdone by his ex, K-Fed recently posed for a spread in GQ.
Comments
Doc
Doc
I wonder if Brit realizes she's done and just a joke ...
Naw, you are one-hundred times sexier and only 1/100th as nuts. Y'all do have K-Fed in common, though.
Hahahahahahaha!
You wear the crown of BP with honour and distinction, if not with the proper vernacular.
Thanks!
I didn't know there was a role model for that.
you are far hotter sugar
Smooch
F-ing role models...
Beth - Mmmm, tryst. Ah. If only.
Cube - She probably doesn't even know that's a picture of her.
WP - Well, thanks for the sexy part but I was kind of hoping I was a little crazier than that.
Rhet - My go-to guy used to be Ernest Borgnine, but he's dead now. Actually, Abe Vigoda is probably dead too, but he didn't have as big a place in my heart.
Alice - No. Tongue firmly planted in cheek. You're right, K-Fed is not blonde, and furthermore no one really wants to take a picture of him.
Bubs - All aboard.
Bond - Well, that would make sense considering how many of those types of chicks are floating around out there these days.
Turnbaby - Why, thank you!
Les - Hmm, sounds like your daughter has been more influenced by those soap commercials where everyone walks around in towels with that "shower fresh feeling all daaaaay." Sorry, can't remember what soap. Zest. Dial. New Dial with more Zest. Does it matter?
My impression that I got of you during dinner could be wrong, but you don't strike me as the kiss shave your head and attack people with umbrellas-type.
Though I'd bet that you'd marry Charlie Schlatter (sp?) for a weekend, right?
You are way hotter than BS on every level. Photo-shop really should be sued for malpractice or something.