Tuesday, November 06, 2007

From Living Strong to Passing the Bong

I'm sure everyone has heard the rumors by now that cyclist/superhero, Lance Armstrong, is dating The Nightmare Before Christmas star, Jack Skellington.

Woops...misinformation. He's actually dating ex-Full House star, Ashley Olsen. Sorry, I always get those two confused.

I have no problem with May/December romances, but come on, now!
What is she, 12?
Pounds?

This isn't nearly as disgusting as the supposed Paris Hilton/Kid Rock pairing, but it's still kind of gross. I think I'd prefer that the Lance Armstrong/Matthew McConaughey/Jake Gyllenhall three-way rumors were true, even though I'm so over losing hot men to the other team. Then again, McConaughey is the only one of that trio who really does anything for me. And he smokes a lot of weed, so I could just imagine that he's "experimenting" if those tales do turn out to be true.

Speaking of Matthew, his 38th birthday was on Sunday. He is still looking alright, alright, alright. So, happy belated, Matthew. If there is anything that I can do to help put those gay rumors to rest, please give me a call.

21 comments:

LoraLoo said...

Maybe I've missed some of the women in between here... but how do you go from Sheryl Crow to Ashley Olsen? Maybe she has some, uh, particular talents?

Bluez said...

Have you seen the 1996 version of Texas Chainsaw Masacre? Matt and Renee Z? Last night, my daughter and I laughed the whole way through it. Weren't they already famous back then?

Bond said...

Ah the tangled webs we weave....So Matt likes to bong up huh? I should give him a call....NOT TO DATE...sheesh

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Oh come on, who doesn't like to watch a little boy-on-boy three-way?

Suzel's Sass said...

I'd rent that DVD with the three boys :)

Malcolm: said...

Beckeye, what are you talking about... saying that Ashley weighs 12 lbs? I thought it was common knowledge that she only weighs 10 lbs... soaking wet! If Lance hits her "sweet spot", do you think she tells him, "You got it dude"?

Skylers Dad said...

Wow, I used to respect Lance and now... WTF?

kevyn said...

pass the bong and get your gay on! is that a bumper sticker or what?

pistols at dawn said...

Women, there's going to come a day when you stop asking "Why?" because you realize the answer is "men will f anything."

Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

I've always thought Matthew McConaughey was a tool.

chelene said...

I find that pairing squicky. I almost posted about it last week but I didn't want to post a picture of a billionaire stick figure.

anandamide said...

If she suddenly shoots up to Barry Bonds size, you know Lance has been on 'roids this whole time.

Coffee-Drinking Woman said...

yeah. just ewwww. Every time I come across a reference to all that, my skin crawls.

Coaster Punchman said...

Mathhew - Lance - Jake 3-way? Holy cripes, I need to start reading the same Hollywood rags you do.

I'm still mad at Lance for dumping Sheryl. Or did she dump him?

Hot Lemon said...

I think he should go for Celene dion, instead...

tanya espanya said...

Chelene hits it with squicky. That is exactly it.

Distributorcap said...

are we sure it wasnt mary kate? or is there a difference

Chancelucky said...

This would make Lance Armstrong like John Stamos's nephew or something. mmmmm

Dale said...

What a great 'stand up' post Beckeye. I could hear you in front of a microphone. Highlarious.

Alice said...

NO WAY. i hadn't even heard the rumors! that's.... i can't even make fun of it, because it's so freakish.

Barbara (aka Layla) said...

geez, Lance and an Olsen twin? He really knows how to lose credibilty.

I wish I didn't, but I kinda dig Jake G.

 

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