Friday, January 11, 2008

Caption Crotch-test Contest #6

"My publicist says I should take one picture a month where I keep my legs closed. I hope the bitch is happy now."




There it is - the winner of the first caption contest of the year, lovingly supplied by Pistols at Dawn. The girls' crotches were on fire in 2007...could Pistols be paving the way for male domination in 2008?



Now, I know that many of you thought that Beth should have won, so let me explain. Her line, "It's a vagina, Lindsay, not a clown car!" was extremely funny but she admitted to "borrowing" it and, while a very accurate statement about the way Li-Lo treats her "special area," it doesn't really fit the picture. Maybe when the greasy Italian gangbang photos surface, we can put Beth's quote to good use.

I have to also give a shout-out to Gifted Typist, who must have figured out that the quickest way to my heart is through bad puns. Her very simple, groan-worthy, "I kneed you" cracked me up. It was a real knee-slapper. My knee-jerk reaction was to name her the winner, but Pistols gave me money.

By the way, I realize the picture in my sidebar is of Steve Perry, but if you know Pistols like I know Pistols, it makes perfect sense.

28 comments:

The Guv'ner said...

Lindsay is saying "Man, these super slim tampons are the shiznit!" The dude is like, "I am so wasted I will smoke anything!"

Manx said...

Lindsay: "Wait a minute, which one are you again?"

Man: "I'm Mario."

Lindsay: "Were you that guy this afternoon?"

Man: "No."

Lindsay: "Cool."

Edge said...

Oh man, even these cigarettes don't drown the smell of her firecrotch.



~Jef

Suze said...

Lindsay: Didn't I have potential at one time?

Dude: Nah.

SkylersDad said...

Person on left: This is how guys cross their legs.

Person on right: I know, I used to be a dude.

Leonesse said...

"Wait, have I done you yet? No? Then what are we waiting for?.... NEXT!"

BTW, these idiots are totally getting girls to smoke more. I work with a lot of teens and just a few years ago smoking was 'disgusting' and now they are starting to do it again like it's cool. Bitches.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I can't top any of the caption already suggested, but I do have to point out that you know those legs aren't staying crossed for long.

Beth said...

It's a vagina, Lindsey, not a clown car!







[Not an original line; stole it from a funny blog post I read. But I added the "Lindsey."]

Barbara said...

Can't top any of these but I sure love reading them. I agree with leonesse said about girls and smoking...ALL my son's female friends smoke! (he doesn't, at least not tobacco....)

Distributorcap said...

are you really Paris Hilton?

Bluez said...

"totally amazing how great these crack laced boogey's taste...!"

Dale said...

No really, I can take that whole leg.

Les Becker said...

I MUST be improving... I only have rug burn on ONE knee, now.

Doc said...

Lindsay: Have we had sex yet?

Dude: Nope.

Lindsay: Then why are we smoking?

Regardless who wins Beckeye, Beth should get special mention for the clown car crack. Priceless!

Doc

Amy said...

I suck at caption contests. But, I love reading the other comments!!

Leonesse said...

I agree. Original or not, Beth's is best! Perfect.

Writeprocrastinator said...

"I'm sorry, you're a nice guy and everything, but this time I'll have to pass. I just had my crotch lined two hours ago with asbestos and Nomex."

Dale said...

He: I hear Britney might be bipolar now.

She: Really? Should I give her a call? A threeway would be hot!

cube said...

I am soooo looking like my mother.

gifted typist said...

Dude to Babe: I kneed you.

pistols at dawn said...

"My publicist says I should take one picture a month where I keep my legs closed. I hope the bitch is happy now."

Bond said...

"So, I said to my mom, at least I know how to use a condom, not like Britney and her sister and I don't need my grand-daddy's money like Paris..."

"Wait...who the F are you anyhow?"

"Lindsy Lohan you total loser...I was in movies made by Walt Disney himself"

"Ah...he's dead bitch"

pistols at dawn said...

Yes! Take that, other people!

That clown car line is pretty hilarious, though, I've got to admit.

And the Steve Perry pic...I'm not capable of love, BeckEye, but it feels good to be understood. Unfortunately for you, that understanding means you may want to book therapy sessions for the next three years and hope to get a bulk discount.

WendyB said...

Wow, Pistols has luscious locks!

Suze said...

I would've bet $20.00 that Pistols looked like Rod Stewart. Hmm, shows what I know.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Well done, Pistols! I bow to your snarkiness.

Dale said...

Congratulations Pistols!

Alice said...

hahaaaaaaaa good pick for the winner. i love it.

 

Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

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I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

What Do Others Think of BeckEye?

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