Tuesday, February 05, 2008

American Idol 7: Atlanta's a Little Peachy, Dawg

The auditions just keep coming and I'm still underwhelmed. No one exactly burned down Atlanta tonight.

The show started off on a sour note when the judges all seemed to like Mr. Glass (I've stopped bothering to write down their names) even though he hacked his way through a delightful Queen song. If you're gonna take on something as campy as "Don't Stop Me Now," you need to have at least 1/8 of the stage presence as Freddie Mercury, which this guy did not. I can't believe the judges put him through. Paula must be sharing her crazy pills.

The requisite Lifetime moment was brought to us by Curly Tendrils, who didn't let the death of her father just two days prior stop her from auditioning. I understand drive and ambition and all that "I wanna make Daddy proud" stuff, but I can't imagine still going through with something like this so soon after such a loss. But, whatever. I'm not judging her. I will judge her voice though - it was just average. I thought it "cracked" too much, but it was obvious that that was the effect she was going for. And there was no way she wouldn't make it through after revealing her personal tragedy.

Pageant Princess skipped in and informed Simon that she was going to prove to him that pageant girls can really sing. She proved it, but she also proved that pageant girls truly are insufferable. After she forced hugs on all of the judges and bounded out of the room, my love for Simon grew as he grumbled, "She is possibly the most annoying person I have ever seen. I did not want her to sing well." Oh, when will Simon give Paula the heave-ho and make me his right-hand girl? We would make such beautiful music and mockery together.

Giving up valuable hackey-sack time to audition was Emo Sk8r Boi, who yelled his way through a Finger 11 song and tried to be a "smart-ahhssss" when Simon told him he gave a "bedroom audition." The kid blew many opportunities to be funny, and Simon put him in his place. Outside the doors.

Goth Nurse was much more enjoyable, and I'm betting that she'll make it through to the Top 12 because every season needs the token "rocker chick." Girl can belt. Paula said she was the female Chris Daughtry, but she clearly has more hair and less eyeliner.

Hobo Joe closed the show out with an original song that he wrote during his down time, which is, apparently, every day since he lives in his car and doesn't seem to have a job. I couldn't stop wondering how the hell he affords car insurance. Then he sang and I couldn't stop wondering where he picked up the British accent growing up in Tennessee. Everyone noticed it, and of course Simon loved that Hobo wanted to emulate a Brit. He made it through to Hollywood, where he'll fit right in with all the other homeless musicians. He didn't have a bad voice, but I think he was trying too hard and I didn't dig the vibrato. He sounded like Robbie Williams in a blender. Hmmm...now there's a pleasant thought.

11 comments:

The Guv'ner said...

There was a day when Robbie Williams used to be GOOD! :)

And you are correct, if you're going to cover an upbeat Queen song...DON'T. You will never be the vibrant, crazy, falsetto showman Freddie was, as you pointed out. The dude last night doesn't sound like he was much of a Mr. Fahrenheit to me! :)

Metal Mark said...

I thought about watching AI and then thought I was better off without it so I didn't bother.

pistols at dawn said...

Man, how many times per week is this damn show on? Based solely on your reviews, I'm guessing 7 times a day. How much fun are mental defectives who can't sing?

genn6 said...

I think I'm partial to Rock N' Roll Nurse just because she's like me, but with a job. And they do always seem to choose one token rocker to make the high cut. I'm glad they made her do anothe song though, I'd hate to see her get pigeon-holed into that sound.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Goth nurse is a little tame looking for a goth, but still a little over the top for a nurse. Not sure if I would want to see her approach me with a hypodermic.

Bond said...

Who said you need car insurance here in Tennessee...show was preempted by wall to wall Tornado coverage... OH well

Dale said...

I actually enjoyed this episode of the Idol so call me brain dead. I'm done with the auditioning though (except of course tonight's).

Dale said...

Oh, and I loved your post title.

Bubs said...

Thank you for this invaluable public service, which is posting links to those YouTube bits so I can catch up on what I missed.

I think that Hobo Joe character looks mildly retarded.

BeckEye said...

Guv - He didn't make a supersonic woman of me, either.

Metal Mark - Yeah, you're much better off just reading my recaps! :)

Pistols - Twice a week. When I'm bored though, I just make up recaps when shows don't really exist.

Genn6 - Yeah, I like her too. Although I'd be afraid to let her take my blood.

Barbara - She probably just rips your veins open with her nails.

Bond - You might be a redneck if you don't have car insurance.

Dale - We can be brain dead together.

Dale - And thanks.

Bubs - I do what I can.

Gifted Typist said...

As an AI N00b I have to agree that old Drunky P-ab is bad, badder than bad. What's she on - she seems more drugged than drunk.

 

Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

My photo
I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

What Do Others Think of BeckEye?

"You're like an idiot savant of terrible garbage entertainment." - Falwless

"You're my hero." - Candy

"Get yourself a life. Better yet.....eff off." - Ann Onymous

"There's no one like you." - Klaus Meine