No, Barry Manilow. Eye Write The Songs.

My horrible procrastination kept me from entering the American Idol songwriting competition, which is a damn shame because I think I have a winning tune on my hands. (The bastards should let me enter late, since the whole contest was my idea to begin with. But whatever.)

Since Michael Johns is no longer in the competition, I'll have to withdraw my other original song candidate, "Headin' Down Under." That never would have made it to air anyway. Stinkin' prudes.

Anyway, this song is sure to be a hit someday. I don't see how it could miss, seeing as it took me 30 whole minutes to write. Maybe I'll enter it in next year's songwriting contest or maybe I'll shop it around to failed Idols past who are out there still trying to make a go of it.

I've taken all the best of the worst elements of previous Idol singles to create this very inspirational piece entitled, "I Believe This is My Proud Moment Flying Inside Your Heaven Without Wings." I'm sure the fine folks at 19 Entertainment would never allow such a long, clunky song title, so I'm willing to compromise slightly on my artistic vision and go with something punchier like "My Proudest Moment" or "Miracle Flight."

I wish I had some music for you all to sing along to, but you can make an educated guess as to how it goes. Mid-tempo. First verse is a soft, gradual build to the belted-out chorus. Some choppy strings come in at the bridge, the music swells and then the first four lines of the chorus after the bridge are sung softly with just acoustic guitar accompaniment. Then - boom! The 2nd half of the chorus is very loud and dramatic, bringing it all to the big climax of the last repeat of the chorus, chock full of runny melisma. Then, ever so softly, the acoustic guitar comes back to put the song to bed with those last three lines.

Enjoy...

Some people live a lifetime and never get the chance to fly
But with faith and confidence, anyone can touch the sky
Sometimes you have to risk it all
And there'll be times when you will fall
But when you shake off all the fear dust
You'll see that Heaven is so near us!

CHORUS:
And now...I'm soaring through the firmament
I don't know where the sidewalk went
But I don't care
Because I've found the rainbow's end
And now...I finally know what my dreams meant
I'll achieve 'em on this high ascent
And I'll sing out
That this is my proudest moment

Storm clouds loom ahead of me, it's gonna be a bumpy ride
But your magic love umbrella will keep me safe and warm and dry
Your shining light shows me the way
And I can swear I hear you say
Even when I'm not beside you
You'll always have my love to guide you!

CHORUS

BRIDGE:
I'll never touch the ground again
This flight is never gonna end
The power to make miracles is mine!

CHORUS (repeat 2x)

Ooooh, oh, woah yeah
I do believe that
This is my proudest...moment


Oh, I can just see Little Lord Archuleroy now. Singing this with his eyes half closed, tongue licking wildly between each verse...it's a hot lava bomb just waiting to explode.


Also recommended: Flannery Alden's original, "Forever Today."

EDIT: Oh snap! I totally forgot that Dale wrote a potential Idol single last year as well. I don't know how I forgot, since it was I who basically forced him to write it. You can check it out here. It's at the end of the post. It's another song about flying, beautifully titled "Flying On My Own (After A Big Corporate Push)."