Saturday, August 16, 2008

A Little Weekend Gunk

Kind of like eye boogers, only less clumpy and easier to wipe away. And mixed with a bit of complete bullshit.

Bob Saget recently told the AP that "it can get a little bit exhausting" answering repeated questions about the Olsen twins. Also exhausting for Saget? Trying to be funny.


Teen heartthrob and human eyebrow Joe Jonas celebrated his 19th birthday on Friday by taking a ride on his new motorcycle! Wheeee! Meanwhile, former teen idol and O.F. (original firecrotch) Madonna celebrated her 50th birthday today by taking a ride on Joe Jonas! Wheeee! Then she made him drive her to the spa for her Botox appointment.


Kim Kardashian told Radar Magazine that she's trying to shed some pounds - mainly in her buttockal region. She said that "it gets a little offensive" when she's posing for the paps and they keep yelling at her to bring her big ol' booty around. She goes on to say, "I mean, I like to show off the front too, y'know? Britney and Lindsay haven't cornered the market on beav-flashing. I want people to know that I'm more than just a butt. I have a vagina too."


Virgin Records is suing Jared Leto's band, 30 Seconds to Mars, for $30 million for failing to deliver the three more albums required by their contract. In a related story, 30 million music fans have each offered to give Leto $1 if he'll promise to never honor the contract.

22 comments:

evilesb138 said...

Apparently Uncle Jesse was not available.

I am still trying to figure out the meaning of the Kardashian existence....what do they do? I am sort of a newbie at this pop culture stuff.

Red said...

Becks, you should totally write for Letterman or something. These jokes are gold!

Gifted Typist said...

What does beckeye think of MadonnaEye at fiftEye

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

You may know the answer to this since its your business to know these things:

Do the Olsen girls have teeth?

SkylersDad said...

"buttockal region" is just a little piece of wonderful Beckeye!

Why o why is Kim K famous for having an ass 3 axe handles wide?

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I just offered Jared Leto $30 million if he would move to Mars and take all his crappy albums with him.

Falwless said...

Red is right, you are fantastic with the jokes.

In a related story, go to hell for being funnier than me.

Dr Zibbs said...

"human eyebrow". Classic. Also, don't forget that the roast of Saget is on tonight. Should be great.

Some Guy said...

While I think it's admirable that Ms. Kardashian wants to diversify, I think it's a physical impossibility. I think her ass is so big it has swallowed her vagina. It's now just all ass - front to back.

Leonesse said...

"Some Guy"s have all the best lines. Lion King laughed at loud on that one.

Alice said...

i'm mad at you because you made me consciously think about kim k's beav.

cube said...

Poor Saget. Being outshined careerwise by the Trollson twins. Very sad really.

Buttockal region is vintage Beckeye... you're funnier than Bob Saget... I hope the Trollsons don't outshine you.

words words words said...

Jared Leto is such a douchebag that I hesitate to call other people douchebags for fear that it implies there are other people as completely awful as he is.

bloody awful poetry said...

Ooooh Leto-Hate! LOVE it!
Really? Somebody was willing to pay him to make three more albums? Oh dear.

*Renee* said...

LOL - Every episode of the Kardashian's talk about her ass
( Y ) :D!

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Jesus, is the Olsen Twin on the left trying out for the Joker in the next Batman flick?

Bond said...

That is ONE HUGE BUTTOCKAL Region

Bob Saget rocks...we have a special love for him on the Radio happy Hour!

pistols at dawn said...

I can't lie: I'm currently orbiting Kim's ass. It's got quite a gravitational pull.

words words words said...

Regarding Mjenks' comment, I thought they were both trying out to be in Robert Palmer's new video.

Amy said...

I have cornered the market on beav-flashing single handedly... only no one ever wants a pic.

WTF

katrocket said...

That Leto bit is hilarious. Can his band also be sued for sucking so hard?

Cormac Brown said...

Doesn't Kim know that fat-bottomed girls make the rocking world go 'round?

 

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