Monday, September 08, 2008

Great Moments in American History*

"Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation: conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal..."

"This great Nation will endure as it has endured, will revive and will prosper. So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself..."

"Fans, for the past two weeks you have been reading about a bad break I got. Yet today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth."

"My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you - ask what can you do for your country."

"I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal..."

"Thank you so much. Thank you for all the love. I'm here tonight to celebrate a very important birthday, the 25th anniversary of the VMAs. This is the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards and it starts right now."

Boy, MTV really wasn't kidding when they said Brit had something special in store for us. Truly glorious.

*Only loosely based on Letterman's "Great Moments in Presidential Speeches." His bit is funnier, of course.


bloody awful poetry said...

At least she didn't sing.

Oh my god did she??

Cormac Brown said...

Dang, you actually sat through this? See? This is what I was talking about, how do you do this without going all Oedipus on your eyes with needles? You are truly the invincible Pop Eye.

Gifted Typist said...

I'm glad they pay you do watch these things. They did pay you, didn't they?

Dr Zibbs said...

Big ole' crazy dummy

Anonymous said...

Britney comeback 2.0 didn't disappoint us! (Namely because we didn't tune in.)

Poor girl. In 10 years when she's baggy and you can't bounce quarters off her ass anymore, she'll be scrambling for bit roles parodying her past self.

Red said...

Yeah. The VMAs made me feel really old. How did Britney have enough time in her hot tranny mess of a life to even make a new video?

Mike said...

hahahaha! Yeah...I love the song "Seeing Things" by the Crowes also.

Falwless said...

Glorious words, Brit.

Bond said...

Thankfully I did not watch...

cube said...

At least she didn't perform.

words words words said...

I'm so pleased that someone besides me still thinks Letterman is worthy of ripping off. :)

Barbara Bruederlin said...

They are rewriting the history books as we speak.

evilesb138 said...

Renee told me about it over the phone...she mentioned the word "stupid" several times.

pistols at dawn said...

I'm not watch the VMAs.

Anonymous said...

They still have those awards? I thought it was part of the Democratic Convention this year.

Could you smell Brit through the TV, all soured fish like?

I see she got an award for (I'm a) Piece of Meat, or something like that.

MTV isn't "M" any more. It's "S".



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