Friday, December 12, 2008

Rolling Stone: The Octogenarian Issue

Is Brad Pitt still in Benjamin Button makeup, or has Angelina Jolie managed to suck all of the youth right out of him? Holy Lord.

Also, I wonder who made Rolling Stone's 50 best albums list? Gee, will indie darlings Vampire Weekend and Fleet Foxes take very undeserved but predictable spots near the top?

Let's see...

Wow, I'm actually surprised that they weren't higher up, but they are at #10 and #11, respectively. I forgot about the rule that requires RS to give sympathy and/or nostalgic votes to crusty old vets (Bob Dylan at #2, John Mellencamp at #5, and the Metallica album no one listened to at #9), and throw a rap album in there (Lil Wayne) so people will actually believe that anyone working at Rolling Stone gives a crap about rap.

Wow, I still can't get over that picture of Brad. He looks like some vagrant who hangs around outside the Greyhound station holding a jar of pickled eggs, begging all passersby to let him tell them about the time he had dinner with Mussolini.


*By the way, I'd like to point out that the picture above is not blurry in the least.

23 comments:

Scott said...

Hmmm, this is the new RS? I've been getting my issues about 2 weeks late since I moved...

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Brad Pitt looks like he's gotten his lips embiggened too. Must run in the family.

Rolling Stone stopped being relevant about 100 years ago (right about the same time that I did).

SkylersDad said...

WTF! Is Brad channeling Hitler? Is he aging at a faster rate than most since he became a father of who knows how many? I believe you may be right about Angelina, maybe she is from another planet an feeds on male souls.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Wow, I'm impressed Rolling Stone is still being published at all.

CDP said...

It took me a minute to figure out who he looks like. It's Orson Welles in you know what movie I'm talking about...always makes the top ten all time lists...cannot recall the title...the one about William Randolph Hearst. Anyway, THAT is who he looks like.

CDP said...

CITIZEN KANE!!! (I rule)

Gwen said...

Jesus Christ. What the fuck happened to him? He looks terrible.

That bitch is evil, I tell you, EVIL.

Bubs said...

Throw an ascot on him and he can be that older guy hanging around poolside at the club, telling stories about his time in Africa

words words words said...

I think he's auditioning for the lead in "The John Waters Story".

FranIAm said...

It has been sucked out of him and very, very hard!

pistols at dawn said...

Raising 75 kids will do that to you.

genn6 said...

Those aren't sympathy votes, hon, that's the music the old-farts at RS have always been listening to, and the lack of musical talent today almost forces those guys to the top of the list. The indie rock and the rap land on that list just so RS appears still relevant.

Note that Pitt's boy-toy Clooney has been recently seen in the UK sporting the same stash.

Knot said...

Hmm, I guess the old hippies still run RS. The counter culture mag is ow mainstream. Blahhhh, I spit you out RS.

Knot

coffeedrinkingwoman said...

If the picture would load in my browser, maybe I could comment...

katrocket said...

I was watching ET the other night with a friend - they interviewed Brad Pitt and he said this fucked up 'stache of his is "for a movie role", so my friend says "never heard of spirit gum, jerk?". Apparently Brad's a method actor.

Esther said...

It's been a long, long time since I've read Rolling Stone and now that they've made it the same size as every other magazine - well, what's the point?

Some Guy said...

I hope they asked him plenty of questions about Jennifer Aniston. There has been a real lack of coverage in that area.

McGone said...

Rolling Stone's "Best of" list really covered that "Try to please every type of fan equally" feel that I've come to expect from RS. Then again I looked at The AV Club's list and it was so stuffed full of hipster douchebaggery I feel like I've never listened to music before.

Fancy Schmancy said...

I used to adore him, and Angelina, separately. Together, not so much. His pictures lately look like ass. Men are supposed to look better as they grow older, not worse, and the mustache just totally sucks. Also, he needs to stop dying his hair, and probably his 'stache too. I'm with you, Angie and the kids are sucking not only the life but also the beautiful out of him. But happy 46th birthday to him on the 18th! Okay, I secretly still love him.

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

Sad. He looks...like George Clooney. Brad Pitt in my mind is the hunk young Tristan Ludlow.

deadspot said...

I think I had that mustache back in high school before I a) could grow real facial hair and b) knew how awful it looked.

Gifted Typist said...

I don't know what's worse: the effeminate 40s dandy Brad on RS or the naked, photoshoped Jen on whatever mago she popped up on.

Honestly those two make Angelina look normal

Kimizzy said...

In a fierce, I-am-totally-seriol way, Brad Pitt announces: "I am... 'stache."

 

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