Wednesday, April 08, 2009

American Idol 8 Results: 4/8/09

When I first tuned into tonight's results show, I thought I had stumbled upon an alternate Idol universe. Paula was wearing opera gloves like it was the finale, and Randy actually said something that I completely agreed with (that last night was disappointing, overall). But then Kara's broken record started skipping on the "some people don't know who they are as artists" part, and I realized that it was the same old same old.

I started wondering why I waste my time watching this show. Sometimes I think I'll stop and use that time to do something more productive. But it's so hard to change. I began to think...if only I had a guardian angel to tell me what to do. You know, like Debbie Reynolds had in Tammy? And then he appeared! And just as I imagined - in the form of Frankie Avalon! Singing the wrong song, but I won't hold that against him.

Actually, Frankie didn't come to help me out of my Idolstential crisis. He showed up to sing "Venus" to not only an audience who largely didn't know who he was, but also to Lord Cowell as a way of reminding him that the song was released in the year he was born - 1959. Simon's turning 50 soon! Thank God. He'll go through menopause and we won't have to deal with his constant PMS anymore.

And what's worse than PMS? The group sings. This week's mangling of Kylie Minogue's "Can't Get You Out of My Head" was particularly wretched. Somehow these kids managed to turn a dance club favorite into a funeral dirge.

Usually I hate the Ford commercials even more than the group sings, but tonight's didn't bother me too much. Mostly because, during the behind-the-scenes moments, we got to hear Scott's funny Cowell impression and see Glambert happy as a little girl to be wearing glittery makeup. The video was set to a Top 8 cover of Britney's "Circus," which instantly put sugarplum visions of Adam singing "Toxic" in my head. Oh please, oh please, oh please let it happen this season!

Finally, Ryan got to the results. He asked Adam, Kris, and Anoop to stand and let Adam off the hook first. As if anyone thought he would be in the bottom.

Let me rephrase that. No...never mind.

As I predicted, the girls saved Kris and Anoop found himself in the Bottom 3 again.

Did anyone see that guy sitting behind Pauler? The dude in the hat? Was that Season 6's very own Chrustin Richardslake™? I couldn't quite tell.

Flo Rida came out to perform and I turned right round and walked out of the room. It never ceases to amaze me what passes for entertainment these days. Jeebus, I sound old.

Ryan proclaimed Gokey safe. He looked smug. Nothing new there. Matt was also safe. Scott was sent to the Bottom 3.

It came down to Allison and Lil was at about this point that I was looking for something heavy to hurl through my TV screen. Seafoam's childish attempts to fake all of the contestants out is getting really stale. Well, not "getting." It already was stale, but now there's mold growing on that shit. Can someone tell him?

Lil was the last one to be called to the Bottom 3. Woo-hoo! I got all three right. I'm like Nostradamus up in here!

Kellie "Whut's A" Pickler came back to the Idol stage just in time to remind me how much I didn't miss her. Although I'm no Kellie fan, I actually like her new single, "Best Days of Your Life," co-written and featuring backing vocals by Taylor Swift. The best part of this performance was that Kellie showed up by herself, so I didn't have to put up with Muskrat Girl. But Kellie really should have brought along 2 or 3 (or 15) backup singers to help her out, because a lot of that was pitchy, dawgs. And did she enroll in the Danny Gokey School of Singing recently? She nearly ran out of breath every time she got to the chorus, and damn near collapsed at the end of the song.

Ryan got back to the results and sent Lil back to the comfy couches first, leaving Scott and Anoop on the chopping block. Unsurprisingly, Scott was the one made to "sing for his life."

During Scott's performance, I couldn't help but laugh at Kara, who pretended like she was trying to convince Cowell to save Scott when she saw the camera was on her. Scott sounded mildly better than he did last night, but if he wanted to have any shot, he should've not gone for those high notes this time around. But he did, and they still remained well out of his reach.

Simon claimed that there were two votes for and two against Scott, so everyone wasted time and prolonged the mock-drama until Simon finally just said they wouldn't be saving Scott. He didn't seem that broken up about it. Then Seacrest turned Scott around to watch his farewell video package, as if he could see it. *sigh*

Even though I wasn't a fan of his singing, I do like Scott and I wish him well. He's a nice guy with a good sense of humor. I think I might even miss him. And I know I'll miss his hot brother.

Find more Idol news and recaps at SirLinksalot.


Kat said...

Scott's brother is pretty hot, isn't he? I hope he auditions for Idol next season! =)

Ian said...

So true about Seacrest's fakeouts. He did it three times and each time it was more annoying. Doesn't he realize that going out of his way to lead the contestants in one direction makes it obvious he's about to go in the other direction? "So, you've been in the bottom 3 before and the judges didn't like you last night. It looks like once're going to have to sweat it out...for your friends. You are safe!" It's even more surprising that the contestants seem to fall for it. Come on. Just don't pay attention until you get a definitive answer. Anything before that and he's just toying with you. The fake drama is such a waste of time.

Anonymous said...

Watch Natsha Naked!

Dale said...

There you go, Natasha's giving you a way out of your Idolstential crisis!

Thankfully, they saw fit to put Scott out of our misery.

Cora said...

Good call on the bottom three, Nostradamus!!

Candy's daily Dandy said... exciting this episode was that I promptly fell asleep. Woke up to see Franke Avalon singing, Glambert declared safe, and Anoop in the bottom three. I immediately went back to sleep at that point, getting all I needed to know.

red said...

Seriously. This is the last season I'm watching.

Coaster Punchman said...

I too thought that deliberating on saving Scott was all just a show. Oh well, at least it proves that they can pretend to have feelings.

His high note was actually painful. I was not sad to see him go.

Pickler sucked major ass. No other way to put it.

Mathdude said...

I got 2 out the bottom 3 right and who got sent home and you still out-predicted me? Doh!

Bond said...

I thought it was ridiculous and condesending that Pawler had to make a big farewell speech to Scott.

look the guy is blind. I feel badly, but hell Stevie Wonder, Roy Orbison..etc etc etc are/were blind and they sang.

it was not like Scott learned to drive a car at Indy and we should all be amazed.

Does Lil get a big speech because of her race and how she overcame it when/if she gets booted?

BeckEye said...

Actually, Roy Orbison wasn't blind. Stop condescending to him just because he wore coke bottle sunglasses! ;)

Also - why has no one heaped love and praise on me for my Scottjaya photo chop yet? That's my favorite one so far this year.

words words words said...

I actually just thought that was a picture of Sanjaya. THAT'S how good it is.

Adam's outfit for the Ford ad is the high point of the season so far. It's like the Phantom of the Opera joined the Rolling Stones. AWESOME.

I agree that the "deliberations" were a dog and pony show, even though Scott was markedly better this time. And I agree with whoever said Paula's speech was condescending. Wow. I love how she constantly assures us all that her praise of Scott is not based on his disability, and then goes on to prove that it is exactly that.

I'm with Red. This season is it for me.

Kristi Mantoni said...

I really don't think they would have used their save on Lil last night. Her stock has fallen. I'll miss "Chet" as well!!

Anonymous said...

Anoop had to stay longer than Scott, cause he is the one that led Scott around most of the time. Anoop will be cut next week now that he is no longer needed as a guide "anoop dog".

BTW..after the fiasco of the show running over and some stations not carrying Adam singing...will they stop wasting so much time early in the show with the judges stupid "quarrels"???????

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Please tell me that you and Paula are going out for a few drinks and then glove shopping.

J. Hi said...

Love the Scottjaya pic. You are an artist.

I did think he had a lot of spirit but he had to go.

Gifted Typist said...

My DVR just outright refused this week. Missed the show and the results. Guess I didn't miss much though


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