Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Eye Boogers

Like the goop that's always accumulating in the corners of our eyes, the following items are curiously fascinating:

LiLo Comes To My Rescue - Clearly sympathizing with me and other entertainment bloggers regarding the lack of celebutarding in recent weeks, Lindsay Lohan decided to post a provocative, semi-nude pic of herself on this Twitter thing all the kids are talking about. Of course, she claims it was done out of boredom, but I know our girl was just trying to help us out. Let this be a lesson to you bleeding hearts who occasionally go into "leave the poor girl alone" mode. If we don't give her attention, she will die. I don't want that on my conscience. But mostly, I don't want to lose a constant source of entertainment. Not that this recent Lady Godiva-esque photo is really all that exciting, but the news that LiLo might be a jewel thief is pretty awesome.

People Reveals Its Hottest Bachelors of '09 - Adam Lambert made the list. All is right with the world. Thank goodness, because I really don't have the energy to burn any buildings down today.

CMT Awards Ceremony Becomes The Taylor Swift Show - I didn't watch the show, and I'm very happy about that. Apparently, Taylor Swift won a bunch of stuff for being a not-very-good singer who makes average videos, rapped with T-Pain, and performed "Pour Some Sugar on Me" with Def Leppard. Eegads. So, here's all you really need to see from the show - Dierks Bentley's performance. Oh my. I would love to pour some sugar on that.

Kennywood Still Rocks and Roll(er)s - To celebrate the 125th anniversary of that most wondrous creation, the American roller coaster, the New York Daily News compiled its list of the Top 10 coasters of all-time. While it saddens me that I haven't been on nearly enough of them, it warms my heart to find that Pittsburgh's very own Thunderbolt, housed in Kennywood Park for 85 years, still made the cut. It's a fantastic ride. I do have to take issue with the inclusion of Coney Island's Cyclone though. I realize it's an American icon and all, but that doesn't mean it's fun to ride. Unless, of course, you're a masochist or enjoy spending quality time with your chiropractor.

Sarah Palin Accepts David Letterman's Apology - Letterman finally apologized for making crude jokes about Palin's daughter, Bristol. Palin accepted, then made the following statement: "Letterman certainly has the right to ‘joke’ about whatever he wants to, and thankfully we have the right to express our reaction. This is all thanks to our U.S. military men and women putting their lives on the line for us to secure America's right to free speech. In this case, may that right be used to promote equality and respect." Oh, politicians. Is she kidding with that? I'm sure all of our forces over in Iraq are happy to know that this is what they're fighting and dying for. And if we have the right to "free speech," why does it seem like people (celebs, mainly) are increasingly being forced to apologize for exercising it?


Del-V said...

I’m going to follow in Sarah Palin’s footsteps and thank all the nerds out there who were beat-up and taunting for inventing the internet. And I’m going to use it to look at funny blogs and nude photos of Lindsey Lohan. And I’m being totally serious.

Anonymous said...

Well old Lilo DID steal that chick's fur coat that time and deny it despite photos of her WEARING It everywhere. Girl's sick in the head. I truly detest her thieving little skinny self. She needs major psych help.

Thank fuck the Palin thing is over. I'm sick of hearing that woman's name. Ironic since I just said it.

Billy said...

I sometimes get confused between the CMT awards and the Miss USA pageant. Just sayin'.

As for LiLo, it mostly makes me sad that her almost-inevitable tragic death at a too-young age will get more play than it deserves before she is (again) quickly tossed aside and forgotten.

Finally, is it wrong of me to find the story of Sarah Palin and LiLo to be remarkably similar? They're both embarrassing when they open their mouths, and they both act like they don't want the spotlight even as they keep jumping into spotlights.

And they both probably think of themselves as "feminists."

red said...

They kinda sorta tried to recreate the Coney Island Cyclone at Magic Mountain in Cali and it was so painful to ride, I almost cried.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

La Lohan has a serious theft problem that keeps rearing it's ugly little head. The girl is a walking disaster who has successfully ruined what could have been a luctative A-list career.

Palin/Letterman apology: Proof that anything will happen for fear of loosing a paycheck or a ratings race.

Eye boogers-can be somewhat eradicated by not wearing eye liner on the inner rim of the eye, and by dotting powder (preferably a white shadow) to the corners of the eye-there bye highlighting the eye quite nicely. A make-up artist trick.

Soda and Candy said...

Spot on, BeckEye.
If I was a soldier I would bayonet Palin for that remark.

; )

Cora said...

Oh LiLo, LiLo, LiLo. She's so damn helpful. Gotta love her!

Anonymous said...

I just can't really get over the Eye goop. That grosses me out. My boss must not have a freakin' mirror!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Why did I assume that something named Kennywood would be in Southpark?

Fancy Schmancy said...

Brody Jenner and Common do not deserve to be on the same list as Adam. Brody Jenner does not even deserve to breath the same air as Adam.

p.s. Linds = :( I really love her, her parents f'd her up but good!


Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

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I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

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