Saturday, June 13, 2009

More on Adam Lambert (and Gene Simmons is a Moron)

After reading Adam Lambert's entire interview in Rolling Stone, I need to take back my earlier concerns that the Idol producers and 19E might be manipulating him and using his sexuality for their own personal gain. I was amazed by Adam's candor and self-confidence, and get the feeling that he is far too smart and grounded to let anyone to take advantage of him.

Besides, I guess he wouldn't be the first artist whose sexuality was used as a marketing ploy. I guess if you've got it flaunt it. And if you've got something that appeals to both sexes, so much the better.

I have a few more thoughts on some of the statements he made in the interview.

On his approach to the competition:

"I have to sing something everybody knows, but I'm going to make it work for me, and I'm not going to give a fuck about what the theme is that week - and, most of all I'm going to just ignore the pageantry of the whole thing. It is so pageant. That's why it's hard for people like Allison, who won't stand there and smile, say what they want her to say. I was on my best behavior, but it wasn't fake. That really was my best self."
So right on. Poor Allison really was screwed over because of Simon's constant whining that she wasn't personable enough. Beside the fact that his opinion was baseless, AI is not supposed to be a personality contest. I mean, Simon is not very personable, and people still tune in to see him.

On rooming with Kris Allen:
"Distracting! He's the one guy that I found attractive in the whole group on the show: nice, nonchalant, pretty and totally my type - except that he has a wife."
Cute. And exactly right regarding the lack of man candy in the Top 13. I'm so glad that Adam has good taste.

On Smuggie:
"Danny is by the book, and the book is the Word. And I respect that. Just don't try to push it on me, and we're cool."
How diplomatic. Judging by the last part of that statement, I get the feeling that Smuggie did try to push his views on Adam a few times. After all, Hokey can't even tell another man that he loves him without clarifying that it's in the "Godly way."

On life after death:
"I don't believe in hell. Maybe you're rewarded for being a good person, but I don't think you're punished."
Interesting, because I've always thought this too.

On the controversial drag/kissing pictures:
"I've only dressed in drag three or four times - and of course I took pictures, because I looked amazing - but I don't tuck and wear breasts, that's not me. Sucking my boy's face? Yes, that I will own."
I really have no comment, other than to say that I was reading this interview over lunch at a diner and this part made me laugh out loud, which got me quite a few annoyed and/or bewildered looks. Damn straight Adam looks good in drag. Hell,
he looks better in a dress than I do.

On women:
"I loved it this season when girls went crazy for me. As far as I'm concerned, it's all hot. Just because I'm not sticking it in there doesn't mean that I don't find it beautiful...I've made out a few times with girls at nightclubs when I had way too many drinks. I don't know if it would ever happen, but I'm kind of interested. I don't think I would want to do it with a groupie, though. Then again, maybe I'd rather it was with a stranger than someone I knew."
Oh, smart boy! Adam knows which side his bread is buttered on. I think he's being partly genuine and partly just a big tease here. But I would like to commend him (the genuine part) on his open mind and let him know that I'm neither someone he knows nor a groupie. So, I would be happy to conduct a little "experiment" with him. I'll even ghostwrite his bi-curious memoirs if he wants. Just throwin' that out there.

Now, most people have been supporting Adam during this whole "coming out" media circus, probably because it's a non-issue. But there always has to be at least one assclown in the bunch, and Gene Simmons is always up for that title.

In a recent interview on FOX News, he revealed himself (to those who didn't already know) as little more than a self-aggrandizing, hypocritical, idiotic dinosaur.

When the talking head asked him how it was performing with Adam at the AI Finale, he immediately grumbled, "How was it for him to perform with us, you mean? That's right. You just have to realize who the governor is and who the little puppy is." Okay, was that really necessary? And is he mixing his metaphors? Governors and puppies? How did this guy get to be so smug, when he's not even really good at it?

He did give Adam props by saying that he had a lot of talent, but then had to throw in a few qualifying remarks: "He should be the new lead singer in Queen. Not the Stones. He doesn't really have a rock 'n' roll voice, but he's got a great, you know, kind of Freddie Mercury-esque voice. So, he's got a future if he wants to sing in Queen or be on Broadway." Okay, Gene. Next time you're onstage, look to your left. See that guy? The one with the star on his face, wearing the ridiculous unitard? That's your singer, Paul Stanley. He usually acts gayer than Adam Lambert actually is. Oh, and he was in the Toronto production of Phantom of the Opera a while back. So, what was your point again?

Then Gene really channeled his inner Cro-Mag with this gem: "But mostly [Adam] should shut up about his sexual preferences. We - America and the rest of the world - doesn't really care. I mean, if the story becomes 'I prefer farm animals to...' You know, it's like, who cares? Be quiet about what it is you do indoors and go out there and sing."

Le sigh. Where to even start?? I think I need to make a list.

1. We doesn't really care?
2. He is partly right, though. WE doesn't really care. But the media does. Adam just wanted to sing, and the media wouldn't leave the poor guy alone about his personal life.
3. What a complete hypocrite this douche is. "Be quiet about what it is you do indoors?" Seriously? This from the same guy who's made a living talking and writing songs about all the girls he's inexplicably banged or wants to bang? This from the guy who wants to brag about his "beautiful wife," whom he cheats on regularly? This from the guy who is cashing in on his personal life by putting it on display in a cheesy reality TV show? Give me a break.
4. Comparing homosexuality to beastiality?? Is he trying to just be controversial or is he really that ignorant?

I guess Gene was doing a press tour for his show, but I'm not sure why he thinks that anyone cares about his opinions on anything. Especially on music. I mean, I like some KISS songs, but they're all pretty much the same song. It's not exactly groundbreaking stuff. And if there's anyone in this world with less musical integrity than Gene Simmons, I haven't found him yet.


Soda and Candy said...

Excellently written again, BeckEye.

Two things:

1. When a friend of mine was little, they used to sing "I was made for lovin' poo baby, you were made for lovin' wee!"

2. I have heard that same bestiality reference (although sometimes it's pedophilia) used by Christians to explain why they can't be okay with homosexuality. I think they see it as a kind of slippery slope situation, like if we become okay with this, what's next. Of course, that doesn't take into account the fact that any of those other things are not between consenting adults. I'm sure there's a better more complex way to combat this point of view, but I'm tired.

LiLu said...

Interesting... I haven't been following, but I think I fell in love with Adam just from reading that recap of his interview. He sounds just fucking DARLING, truly.

Cora said...

Gene Simmons is the one who needs to shut up. If he feels this superior to Adam, why the hell did KISS even agree to be on AI at all?!

Cormac Brown said...

More power to Adam for coming out, hopefully it make things easier for other kids in places where people aren't so tolerant.

Speaking of tolerance, I've read Gene's quotes and I figured that with the decades of anti-semetic remarks that Gene had to contend with, that he would have been a little more sensitive to people hating him for what he is, as opposed to who he is as a person.

Billy said...

Your eye-popping experience of reading Glambert's interview responses mirror my own reaction to Megan Fox's EW interview. I kept thinking, She may never become a great actress, but no doubt lots of folks are underestimating her just 'cuz she's hotter'n Texas chipotle and flaunts it.

As for The Tongue Geezer in Drag, his interview with Terri Gross on NPR many moons ago officially made him one of the few musicians so completely despicable that I struggle to overlook it when listening to the music. (re: your previous post)

Barbara Bruederlin said...

According to a tattoo artist I interviewed recently, Gene Simmons and/or KISS is his most requested rock tattoo. Go figure.

Tootsie said...

Beckeye, I think you're being a tad too harsh on Gene Simmons, the "doesn't really care" is probably just a typo... after all, he talks English very goodly. Rock on Adam, YOU can sing young man!

Bubs said...

"...I like some KISS songs, but they're all pretty much the same song. It's not exactly groundbreaking stuff."

Yeah, they sure were something 30-something years ago.

Gene Simmons makes me kind of sick every time I see him speak.

Fancy Schmancy said...

Speaking for women everywhere, if and when you do try to convert Adam over to our side, you better share the details! Represent!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Gene is horribly full of himself, but I still do acknowledge that KISS is an important band, more important than this American Idol kid will ever be.

Good work pointing out that Paul Stanley is on Broadway and not a good singer!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Oh, and you're on my blogroll now. Not that it's a big deal cause my readership sux these days. Still, congrats!

Organic Meatbag said...

Hahahaha... In the interest of full disclosure, I grew up listening to KISS, so yeah I'm a fan, but you are dead on about Gene and even more dead on about how gay Paul acts...hehehe...
nice blog!

red said...

"and of course I took pictures, because I looked amazing." That's awesome.

Simmons gets less and less interesting everytime he opens his mouth. And I love that he's basically saying rock voices suck. What a moron.

Alice said...

i'm sure kiss was influential and BLAH BLAH BLAH. does not make gene simmons any less of an out of his prime, curmudgeonly-sounding old man now.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Right on Becks!

All I have to say is this, and you'll forgive me for being so crass on your blog-
Gene Simmons has old balls.

Gifted Typist said...

Ugh Gene Simmons, he's coming to mytown for one of those dreadful retro rock-in-the-park for wrinklies and oldster concerts. So glad I'm not going.

Angell said...

*standing ovation*

Can't top that column, and wouldn't want to try.

cube said...

Me doesn't really care what Gene Simmons thinks about Adam.

RE: Adam's sexuality. Me thinks he should shut up & just sing.


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