Caption Crotch-test Contest #24

"Has anyone seen my diaphragm?"



This month's winning caption belongs to Splotchy, who was the only one to make me heartily laugh out loud. I always knew those splotches were a symptom of a more serious condition, and now my suspicions are confirmed. It is now my expert opinion that Splotchy's crotch is, in fact, on fi-yah.


And since Adam Lambert proved that runners-up are not losers, these folks have nothing to be ashamed of:

Because I'm a sucker for bad puns (you should all know this by now): "...So I told the hairdresser I wanted a style that would make me look like a fun guy..." - The Imaginary Reviewer

Because I'm a sucker for lyrical puns: Lady Gaga is forced to wear a shield on her head after too many people take her lyrics literally and repeatedly poke her face. - The Imaginary Reviewer, again!

Because it paints a beautiful and hilarious image: Taken moments before the Border Collie who won the Frisbee championship took her head clean off her shoulders. - June's Firecrotch, Skyler's Dad

Comments

Coaster Punchman said…
That bitch Chastity is trying to upstage me AGAIN!
7/03/2009 2:22 PM
SkylersDad said…
Taken moments before the Border Collie who won the Frisbee championship took her head clean off her shoulders.
7/03/2009 2:35 PM
Splotchy said…
"Has anyone seen my diaphragm?"
7/03/2009 3:24 PM
J.J. in L.A. said…
Can't you see the pin cushion, people? I need needles, BIG needles!
7/03/2009 6:58 PM
Soda and Candy said…
I don't even know who that is, but it has man-hands and a lady's face.
7/03/2009 7:12 PM
Anonymous said…
Other uses for giant IUD's
7/03/2009 7:18 PM
Doc said…
"I'm willing to paint and blow anyone who can chew through my weird hat and I will do it on film for the sake of 'art'"

Doc
7/03/2009 10:55 PM
Ian said…
RedOne couldn't believe what he was seeing: the quirky girl he'd helped launch to pop stardom was out in public wearing Harry Caray glasses and a giant button on her head. "That's it!" he said. "I can't take anymore of this chick's over-the-top persona! I'm going to work with Adam Lambert!"
7/04/2009 2:52 AM
words...words...words... said…
I don't know who that is either, but I'm going to enter anyway.

"If you go to a Halloween party dressed as a mushroom but win the prize for best costume as "the girl who came as an ottoman", did you really win?"
7/04/2009 2:52 AM
Cormac Brown said…
I'm a mushroom, Mario, eat me!
7/04/2009 9:39 AM
Gwen said…
Every pot(head) has a lid (made of her own hair).
7/04/2009 10:36 AM
Barbara Bruederlin said…
"... and back in our day, we tied mushrooms to our heads. And not those fancy white mushrooms either, but regular yellow mushrooms."

Oh wait, I'm getting her confused with Abe Simpson. Sorry.
7/04/2009 11:26 AM
Anonymous said…
Lady Gaga is such a stool...er..tool.
7/04/2009 1:43 PM
Claire said…
So that's Lady Gaga? (not an entry, btw).
7/04/2009 2:01 PM
The Imaginary Reviewer said…
"...So I told the hairdresser I wanted a style that would make me look like a fun guy..."
7/04/2009 5:34 PM
The Imaginary Reviewer said…
Lady Gaga is forced to wear a shield on her head after too many people take her lyrics literally and repeatedly poke her face.
7/04/2009 5:37 PM
Soda and Candy said…
Nice work Barbara Bruederlin!
: )
7/04/2009 6:49 PM
Tootsie said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
7/05/2009 12:16 AM
Tootsie said…
What is that? Urgh, it's hideous!
7/05/2009 12:25 AM
Gifted Typist said…
Caption: Yes boys and girls, mushrooms do grow on dead things
7/05/2009 9:40 PM
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said…
Here we see Harry Caray's first wife in a deflated pumpkin balancing contest.
7/06/2009 10:19 AM
Vinny "Bond" Marini said…
"I am Lady Gaga and I sing da-da so I get the moolah and can wear something that looks like a big ca-ca on my head while I pose for the pa-parazzi's"
7/06/2009 1:10 PM
cube said…
Caption: Cheese, pepperoni and mushrooms... hold the anchovies.
7/06/2009 3:29 PM
Eric said…
*singing as Italian tenor*
'When your hair's near your eye lika big pizza pie, that's Gaga...'
7/06/2009 7:16 PM
Ian said…
After many years of confusion, speculation and conspiracy theories, the purpose of the crop circles can finally be revealed: alien headwear.
7/07/2009 4:29 AM
katrocket said…
"What? Do I have something in my hair?"
7/07/2009 8:23 AM
rachaelgking said…
If this doesn't get me on Go Fug Yourself, NOTHING will...
7/07/2009 4:59 PM
Doc said…
"Pay no attention to the huge cheese danish on my head. It's holding these huge effing glasses on my face yo!"

Doc
7/07/2009 9:57 PM
deadspot said…
She's got a hair shield so people don' don' don't poke her face.

(*facepalm* Oh god. Why do I know who Lady Gaga is?)
7/09/2009 10:12 AM
deadspot said…
OK, clearly that joke should have been

"She's wearing a hair shield because people might might might poke her face."

I apologize for any inconvenience my first draft may have caused.
7/09/2009 10:49 AM
deadspot said…
...and I should have read all of the other entries.

Nothing to see here, citizen, please move along.
7/09/2009 10:51 AM
Splotchy said…
Holy crap! Thanks, Beckeye!
7/09/2009 2:35 PM
The Imaginary Reviewer said…
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I probably get more points for two runners-up prizes than the winner gets. Right?
7/09/2009 4:39 PM
words...words...words... said…
Congrats to Splotchy!

My mantel is full anyway. Hmph.
7/09/2009 4:41 PM
Cora said…
Bravo, Splotchy!

I didn't even bother making up my own caption after I read the diaphragm one. Nothing could possibly beat THAT.
7/09/2009 5:24 PM
DrillerAA said…
The doctor said not to worry, it's not malignant and it's not contagious. I guess I'm good to go.

Glad you like my avatar.
7/09/2009 10:22 PM
DrillerAA said…
And the winner of the world's largest ZIT is.....
7/09/2009 10:24 PM
DrillerAA said…
Sorry I got here late, but better late than never. Not a caption, just an apology.
7/09/2009 10:25 PM
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