"Okay, who peed in these gloves before I put them on?"
And there is your caption for August, supplied by Bond. This is his first time as a Firecrotch, so I hope he can stand the heat.
Sorry for taking so long to pick this month's winner, folks, but as I said, I'm on vacation. (I'm not in a tropical paradise or anything, so you don't have to envy me too much.) And because I'm on vacation, I'm not going to the trouble of picking runners up this time around. But I'll give the Extra Achievement Award to Doc for entering so many damn times.
Comments
"Even I can't touch my signature Herpes Shake without gloves".
OK that put me off eating for the rest of the day.
"I don't need the gloves, I usually just let them splatter it on my face."
And now I can't get the blasted song out of my head. :-)
I could eat you, but I'd have to charge
My milkshake, makes the boys run away from the yard
And it makes Samantha flee equally hard...
Is it cinnamon?
"I only wear these when I squeeze the pus from my coochie!"
"Handjob anyone?"
"Okay, let's color the carpet to match the curtains!"
"Is this what you mean by spread the love around?"
"I alway eat with gloves on so I don't reinfect myself!"
"I can't believe that they wouldn't hire me at McDonald's!"
"I used to wear these when I worked as a 'fluffer' in porn movies!"
"Thanks for the apron. It will protect my Prada."
"Shouldn't I be wearing a surgical mask too? Micheal Jackson wore one and that seemed to work for him, right?"
"High ho, high ho, We've got jizz shakes to go..."
"I always wear these gloves to remove my feminine hygiene products, and please pay no attention to that velcro ripping sound. It always sounds like that when you break the crust."
I am more than a little ashamed at these but I am willing to be gross if it will win me the much coveted Fire Crotch Award.
Doc
I NEED my shit.
Why are you people all so f-ing incompetent?"
1. McLohan: over 100 million serviced.
2. No, LiLo, the gloves are for everyone else's protection, before they touch YOU.
Doc, you're cheating with all those captions!
Thanks!
You hooker.