Friday, September 11, 2009

Caption Crotch-test Contest #26

"I spit, too!!!"

There is this month's winning caption, supplied by Red of Gingers is the Watchword! Oddly enough, Red has never won a Firecrotch award despite the fact that she is a real life firecrotch. (Not "firecrotch" as it's come to be defined thanks to herp-infected celebutards, but as in the original definition meaning "one with red pubes.") The quote is simple and funny, although I'm not convinced that it's completely accurate.

And because people need to feel special, here are some runners-up:

"This morning, I had Joe Francis. And tonight? Joe Camel." - Cormac Brown (A four-legged creature is actually a step up from that Neanderthal gone wild.)

"Take off the bandage, Nicole. I've seen way worse nose jobs." - Dr. Kenneth Noisewater (I'd be surprised if she even remembers what a real nose looks like.)

Paris found the exact colour she wanted for her new handbag. - Pepe LePew (This made me laugh because I could totally imagine her thinking it would be perfectly reasonable to have a camel killed and skinned if it meant having the perfect, one-of-a-kind purse. And I love how those non-Americans stick that superfluous "u" in "color.")

24 comments:

red said...

I spit, too!!!

(Sorry. I couldn't keep it out of the crotch, but at least I'm trying this month, right? Right?!?!)

words...words...words... said...

This is my favorite feature of your blog. And dammit, Red may have already won.

words...words...words... said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
words...words...words... said...

1. Why is everybody wearing one of those masks on their face when they see me?

2. Are you one of the two hump ones or do I have to get you to call one of your friends, too?

3. If I just stand still and stare off into the distance, maybe she'll get bored and go bother the monkeys.

Tootsie said...

I'm so glad you gave up smoking.

SkylersDad said...

You've heard of hung like a horse? Well take off this mask and get a load of this tongue!

Once you go Camel, you'll never go back to Mammal!

Come on, put your vajayjay next to my foot. It will make a great photo op!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

1. "Oh I've always loved llamas! Huh? You're not? What are you, a skinny horse?"

2. Paris: You remind me of my sister.
Camel: I was about to say that.

3. Paris: Ewww! You smell like my panties.

Yep. I still suck at captions.

Soda and Candy said...

1. Camel: I am so firing my agent.

2. Camel: Bitch please, at least my toes never gave anyone chlamydia.

3. Camel (in the voice of the Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons): No, I would not like to make a sex tape with you. Worst. Photo op. Ever.

J.J. in L.A. said...

"Good, it's muzzled...I'm tired of getting spit at by men, I'm not going to take it from an animal!"

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

"Take off the bandage, Nicole. I've seen way worse nose jobs."

Tennyson ee Hemingway said...

No I DON'T want to hump....oh, fuck it, I'll just give you a blow job.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Wow. I'm not feeling worthy enough to compete with these captions.

So far, I'm liking the nose job one.

Cormac Brown said...

This morning, I had Joe Francis and tonight? Joe Camel.

Cormac Brown said...

No, no, Paris, that camel won't give milk because it is a dromedary, not dromedairy...that, and the fact that it's a male camel.

Alice said...

god, these are great. just wanted to comment with some e-applause over here :-)

Elise said...

Hi, just wanted to leave you a note because I really enjoyed this post, and to say - hello !. You have a great site here - really interesting. Thankyou for sharing it and best wishes... lovely to meet you, as it were....

katrocket said...

Oh My God! Like, that hat is way too cute on you.

Pepe Le Pew said...

1. Paris found the exact colour she wanted for her new handbag.

2. "Someone get me a cattle prod, and a milking bucket!"

3. "I love him because he sweats less than Brandon Davis and has less back hair than Nicole"

4. The growth hormones Paris fed her pet dog had one small side effect.

Suze said...

I see Paris went animal shopping again.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

"I only wanted a kiss, Camel, don't get the hump!"

words...words...words... said...

I am glad that Red won. Partially because she wrote a spectacular caption, but mostly because I predicted it.

red said...

Woo hoo! Thanks, Becks! I get a tag, too?! I feel so special!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You knew that someone had to ask how you knew that Red was a real firecrotch. So I am asking.

Cormac Brown said...

Congrats, Red!

 

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