Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The Rumors of My Gosselinness Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

Hello, dear readers. Sorry I haven't posted since Sunday.

No, I take that back. I'm not sorry at all! I mean, first of all, I gave you all an assload of holiday music in my last post. And secondly, it's not like you caaaare if I'm here or not. If you did, you would have made certain that I was named Blogger of the Year. Harrumph. Well, you know what? I'm going to keep blogging anyway! I'm going to make the next year of your lives a living hell!

I'm sorry. I take that back. That wasn't me talking. It was my uterine polyps. Yep, Santa finally brought me some! Supposedly, they don't really do anything but I've been having little outbursts lately, so I'm starting to think that they're actually full of rage.

Okay, okay. Let's just start this whole thing over. First I try to lay a guilt trip on you people and then I go on a weird tangent about my lady parts. This is not what Christmas is all about. At least I don't think so.

I suppose I should give thanks to all the voters for the Drysdale Award that I did win: Blog With the Most Posts About Jon or Kate Gosselin. Since I've only had two (and the first one doesn't really count, since I only mentioned them to explain how I was vowing to never cover them and refused to even use their real names), I guess that means that either my opponents didn't try very hard or the voters are all very big fans of irony. Or none of you actually read my blog. Whatever the reason, I won something, and Grant Miller (the Blogosphere's crush) knows my name. All in all, I'd say this is shaping up to be about the 27th best Christmas I've ever had.

And now, to make our season even brighter, here is the classic MADtv skit, "Raging Rudolph." (Note: this is not at all a veiled threat about what will happen to all of you if I lose that Blogger of the Year award again next year.)

19 comments:

bearockr said...

That was a fun video to watch that you posted above ... A Nice story ... And for next time at the awards, you have my vote for you for sure !

bloody awful poetry said...

Uh. I kinda maybe sorta voted for you in the Gosselin category. I had a vague feeling that it'd be funny if you won. No idea irony was that popular. But um.. Yeah.

Jules said...

The Gosselin category is what made me start reading you!

And I LOVE that video!!!

katrocket said...

Congratulations BeckEye! Let this be a lesson to you for writing even one (possibly TWO) posts about the Gosselins. It's a tragedy we can all learn from. ;)

Candy's daily Dandy said...

I LOVED that!!

Bwahahahaahaha!!!

Scope said...

Got it. So next year, it's "Most cat pictures" for you.

Penny said...

Awww...I can't watch it at work but I will tonight :)
I was actually thinking about you this morning while I was blow drying my hair, wondering....why there were no posts! :)

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Does this post count as a third Gosselin post then? SO you will be in the running for next year?

Well done, you!

carissajaded said...

loves that video!!! I'm sorry you didn't win the blogger of the year, but dude- the Gosselin award is awesome! Next year you should post at least 3 blogs about them so you have two awards. Or maybe you should go for the Tiger award... You have plenty of material!

Shelly said...

HAHAHA!!! What, that wasn't the award you had your heart set on?

red said...

Congrats to you, lady.

Ed Adams said...

I was going to vote for you, but I left my ballot in my other laptop.

catherinette said...

I thought this was going to be a post about the Gosselins. I was robbed.

SkylersDad said...

I love a story with a nice holiday morale to it!

By the way, you don't own a vise do you?

Steam Me Up, Kid said...

1.5 Gosselin posts, and you win an award? Maybe they multiply posts by 8? Or...I guess that would be plus 8? 9.5 Gosselin posts seems like an award winning amount. Congratulations!

Perplexio said...

I'm wondering what the metric conversion is for "assload" not that it matters as I've heard that the metric system is just a practical joke the rest of the world is playing on the Canadians.

I remember on their album, The Great White North, Bob & Doug Mackenzie claimed that a metric six pack is actually 24 beers.

LiLu said...

I'm with the "Irony" crowd.

Obvs.

Gwen said...

I voted for you but only because it was already clear Miss Wendy was going to take BOY and I wanted you to get a Drysdale.

words...words...words... said...

Thank you thank you thank you for posting Raging Rudolph! I love that thing. Also, you were robbed, as were any other bloggers I read that didn't win.

 

Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

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I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

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