The Rumors of My Gosselinness Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

Hello, dear readers. Sorry I haven't posted since Sunday.

No, I take that back. I'm not sorry at all! I mean, first of all, I gave you all an assload of holiday music in my last post. And secondly, it's not like you caaaare if I'm here or not. If you did, you would have made certain that I was named Blogger of the Year. Harrumph. Well, you know what? I'm going to keep blogging anyway! I'm going to make the next year of your lives a living hell!

I'm sorry. I take that back. That wasn't me talking. It was my uterine polyps. Yep, Santa finally brought me some! Supposedly, they don't really do anything but I've been having little outbursts lately, so I'm starting to think that they're actually full of rage.

Okay, okay. Let's just start this whole thing over. First I try to lay a guilt trip on you people and then I go on a weird tangent about my lady parts. This is not what Christmas is all about. At least I don't think so.

I suppose I should give thanks to all the voters for the Drysdale Award that I did win: Blog With the Most Posts About Jon or Kate Gosselin. Since I've only had two (and the first one doesn't really count, since I only mentioned them to explain how I was vowing to never cover them and refused to even use their real names), I guess that means that either my opponents didn't try very hard or the voters are all very big fans of irony. Or none of you actually read my blog. Whatever the reason, I won something, and Grant Miller (the Blogosphere's crush) knows my name. All in all, I'd say this is shaping up to be about the 27th best Christmas I've ever had.

And now, to make our season even brighter, here is the classic MADtv skit, "Raging Rudolph." (Note: this is not at all a veiled threat about what will happen to all of you if I lose that Blogger of the Year award again next year.)