I know that many of you heavily rely on me to tell you what happens on this crapfest every week, but I think I've had just about enough of the auditions. I, once again, opted for pub trivia last night and I'm going to be missing tonight's show because I'll be reviewing the Norah Jones concert in Brooklyn. Any of you who are really upset about this turn of events might want to get together and raise some money for my DVR fund. I'm needy!
I suppose I could catch up by watching the videos on MJ's Big Blog, but I'm honestly not that interested. I can pretty much tell you what happened last night and what will happen tonight. Consider this the audition template:
- The judges try to act surprised when faced with several crazy people who can't sing
- Two or three people with sob stories of varying degrees get shitloads of screen time and golden tickets
- The judges rave over a handful of pretty/slutty girls with average voices
- Kara swoons over a handful of heavily-gelled guys who sound like every other inoffensive pop crooner on the radio
- One complete clown is offered up to make everyone laugh
- One complete nutcase is offered up to try to inject some drama into the show
- Simon rubs his nipples
- Randy makes up imaginary percentages
- Kara makes everyone want to kick her in the face
- The guest judge just sits there being useless (Although from what I've heard this only applied to Avril Lavigne on Day 1. Apparently, Katy Perry took over on Day 2 and was feisty, awesome, and threatened to throw her Coke in Kara's face. That's close enough to a kick for me to love it.)
Check out the guy at :21 who says he's the love child of Susan Boyle and Glambert. IT'S TOTALLY DANIEL FRANCO FROM PROJECT RUNWAY (seasons 1 and 2)!! I guess now there is finally an answer to Santino and Nick's musical question...
So, is that a step up or down on the reality TV ladder? I guess it all depends on your point of view.