Like the goop that's always accumulating in the corners of our eyes, the following items are curiously fascinating:
Why Do Screenwriters Even Continue To Get Out Of Bed In The Morning? - Sony is planning to release a live-action/CGI hybrid movie based on the computer game Rollercoaster Tycoon. Gee, I can't wait for James Cameron's IMAX 3D Chutes and Ladders.
The Kim Kardashian/Big Fat Greek Diet - The National Enquirer is reporting that Kim Kardashian told Ryan Seacrest that her super secret diet trick is that she sprays Windex on her food so she won't eat it. I know the Enquirer is a rag but I totally believe this. There's no limit to what I will believe about celebutards. Since I'm trying to drop some weight, I thought about trying this diet out, but it can only end with me in the ER having my stomach pumped. Because a Windex Burger is still gonna look pretty damn good to me. As a matter of fact, I think I've had one at Applebee's before.
Perhaps They Should Lower The Minimum American Idol Contestant Age To 12 - The newest Internet sensation is Greyson Chance (whose parents are obviously big soap opera fans), the sixth grader whose cover of Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi" has been viewed over 9 million times on YouTube. I'm assuming you've all seen him by now. If you haven't, click that link immediately. The kid is mad talented. (And those disaffected, dead-eyed girls in the lower right of the screen need a couple of good old fashioned swirlies.) When he appeared on Ellen today, dear Ms. Gaga called in to give him some love, as well as some advice: pianos before hos. Or something like that.
Billy Ray Cyrus Continues To Be Father Of The Decade - I'm sure you've all heard about and/or seen the mess that is 17-year-old Miley Cyrus giving a lapdance to 44-year-old Adam Shankman. We all know that Adam is gay, so nothing "came up" during that dance. One crisis averted. But that's not really the issue. One problem is that Miley was putting on her little show while younger kids were around. And all of her fans are young and want to be like her. The other problem is that Miley is continuing down the path to hookerdom, which doesn't seem to faze her parents. When TMZ asked Papa Billy Ray about the lapdance, he said, "It's what people her age do." Well, sure. People her age sometimes shoot up schools, too. That doesn't mean that it's ideal behavior.
Newsweek's Ramin Setoodeh Doesn't Know How Acting Works - Sometimes I wonder how I'm not making a living writing stupid shit like this, when guys like Mr. Setoodeh, who will probably never see a cube farm again, get paid for their idiotic ramblings. This particular rambling was all about how most gay male actors can't convincingly play straight roles because, ZOMG we all know they're gay for realsies, duhhhh! The article by Setoodeh, himself a gay man, has already famously pissed off GLAAD, Kristen Chenowith and Glee creator Ryan Murphy, and now it's not-so-famously pissed me off, mainly for its description of Jonathan Groff's portrayal of Glee's Jesse St. James as an "average theater queen." Bastard! OK, so yes, I'm well aware that Jonathan is a gay boy in real life. A lovely, heavenly gay boy. But that doesn't mean that I can't buy him as a straight dude on a TV show. And it certainly doesn't prevent me from imagining a world in which he's straight and we make love in the clouds and then run away to live among the puppies and baby seals on Happy Magic Rainbow Island. In a candy house. All right, so maybe that sounds a little gay. As long as "gay" means "awesome." And I'm pretty sure it does.
Why Do Screenwriters Even Continue To Get Out Of Bed In The Morning? - Sony is planning to release a live-action/CGI hybrid movie based on the computer game Rollercoaster Tycoon. Gee, I can't wait for James Cameron's IMAX 3D Chutes and Ladders.
The Kim Kardashian/Big Fat Greek Diet - The National Enquirer is reporting that Kim Kardashian told Ryan Seacrest that her super secret diet trick is that she sprays Windex on her food so she won't eat it. I know the Enquirer is a rag but I totally believe this. There's no limit to what I will believe about celebutards. Since I'm trying to drop some weight, I thought about trying this diet out, but it can only end with me in the ER having my stomach pumped. Because a Windex Burger is still gonna look pretty damn good to me. As a matter of fact, I think I've had one at Applebee's before.
Perhaps They Should Lower The Minimum American Idol Contestant Age To 12 - The newest Internet sensation is Greyson Chance (whose parents are obviously big soap opera fans), the sixth grader whose cover of Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi" has been viewed over 9 million times on YouTube. I'm assuming you've all seen him by now. If you haven't, click that link immediately. The kid is mad talented. (And those disaffected, dead-eyed girls in the lower right of the screen need a couple of good old fashioned swirlies.) When he appeared on Ellen today, dear Ms. Gaga called in to give him some love, as well as some advice: pianos before hos. Or something like that.
Billy Ray Cyrus Continues To Be Father Of The Decade - I'm sure you've all heard about and/or seen the mess that is 17-year-old Miley Cyrus giving a lapdance to 44-year-old Adam Shankman. We all know that Adam is gay, so nothing "came up" during that dance. One crisis averted. But that's not really the issue. One problem is that Miley was putting on her little show while younger kids were around. And all of her fans are young and want to be like her. The other problem is that Miley is continuing down the path to hookerdom, which doesn't seem to faze her parents. When TMZ asked Papa Billy Ray about the lapdance, he said, "It's what people her age do." Well, sure. People her age sometimes shoot up schools, too. That doesn't mean that it's ideal behavior.
Newsweek's Ramin Setoodeh Doesn't Know How Acting Works - Sometimes I wonder how I'm not making a living writing stupid shit like this, when guys like Mr. Setoodeh, who will probably never see a cube farm again, get paid for their idiotic ramblings. This particular rambling was all about how most gay male actors can't convincingly play straight roles because, ZOMG we all know they're gay for realsies, duhhhh! The article by Setoodeh, himself a gay man, has already famously pissed off GLAAD, Kristen Chenowith and Glee creator Ryan Murphy, and now it's not-so-famously pissed me off, mainly for its description of Jonathan Groff's portrayal of Glee's Jesse St. James as an "average theater queen." Bastard! OK, so yes, I'm well aware that Jonathan is a gay boy in real life. A lovely, heavenly gay boy. But that doesn't mean that I can't buy him as a straight dude on a TV show. And it certainly doesn't prevent me from imagining a world in which he's straight and we make love in the clouds and then run away to live among the puppies and baby seals on Happy Magic Rainbow Island. In a candy house. All right, so maybe that sounds a little gay. As long as "gay" means "awesome." And I'm pretty sure it does.
Comments
And don't Windex your food. Use Sparkle. It looks like grape juice. ;-)
Her ass will be missed....
As for screenwriters - I think they are actually having underground meetings of a secret society planning on blowing up the interwebz so that they can have their jobs back.
Better to listen to the Fresh Air interview with Sean Hayes it made me all happy inside again.
Wasn't this the same magazine that claimed that Jennifer Aniston was on a baby food diet?
She's probably one of those rare celebs that actually use their own products, downing that diet speed that they are always advertising on E!