Saturday, December 18, 2010

The Hotties of 2010

I've done a few of these "hot lists" before and, if you're a long-time reader, you might be aware that I can sometimes be fickle or just downright forgetful. Therefore, I've decided to honor hotness on an annual basis. See, I might still love Jeremy Sisto and Hugh Jackman, but where were they this year? Who knows? If they couldn't be bothered to strut their stuff, then I can't be bothered to publicly salivate over them.

One thing: since I don't anticipate my Top 4 ever changing, rather than bore everyone by putting them on every year's list, I've decided to canonize them. As the Patron Saints of Hotness, St. John, St. Eddie, St. Ewan and St. Damon will watch over my anointed ones, helping them pray to the Gods of Good Looks for continued blessings.

And Top 10 Hotties of 2010!

1. Jonathan Groff
The best thing Glee ever did was get this yummy young Broadway star to guest in the latter half of its first season. The worst thing it ever did was not offering him a full-time gig he couldn't refuse. But I've heard that he's definitely coming back this season, so there's that to look forward to. (It just better not be for, like, one episode in which he gets five lines.) And because I can sense that someone is going to leave me a comment that he's gay: I KNOW. What's your point?

2. Joe Manganiello
I've had the hots for Joe since his bit part as Mary Jane's jerkoff boyfriend in Spider-Man, a role that not many people seem to remember him for. Now, with his new role as a werewolf on True Blood (which I can't watch because I no longer have HBO), he's finally becoming a household name. I've never been a fan of facial hair beyond a little sexy scruff, but this guy makes all that fur look good. Sadly, even though he's from Pittsburgh, I never had the pleasure of running into him around town. Just my luck.

3. Joel McHale
Snark is sooo sexy. Not only has Joel made The Soup required viewing, but he's also partly responsible for making Community the funniest show on TV. (I'll be talking more about that next week.)

4. Jon Hamm
Yes, Jon is impossibly handsome, but that alone doesn't necessarily make a sexy guy. That he's also extremely funny and seemingly down-to-earth? Well, that just makes his existence completely unfair. Hey, did I ever tell you guys that I had a dream fairly recently about Joel McHale AND Jon Hamm, in which I didn't have sex with either one? Boy, did I ever wake up pissed off.

5. Charlie Hunnam
I've never watched Sons of Anarchy, even though I've heard tons of great things about it. But when I recently discovered that one of the main characters is played by the same adorable Heath Ledger-esque Brit who played Lloyd on Undeclared, I vowed to try to catch the show one of these days. Until then, I'll just pray that Charlie shaves off that scraggly flesh beard. I won't hold my breath though, because his show's in no danger of being canceled, and I guess no one would take a clean-shaven biker very seriously.

6. Jason Sudeikis
Easily the funniest guy on SNL, Jason could almost be Joel McHale's less sarcastic, nicer cousin. He's just plain adorable, whether he's dancing backup to "What's Up With That," being an "A-hole," turning up as the long-forgotten 4th gang member on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia or sweetly defending girlfriend January Jones' atrocious Emmy night dress.

7. Leonardo DiCaprio
So, Leo may have made a lot of people's "hot lists" over the years, but I would have never put him on mine. I mean, I always thought he was an attractive enough guy, but I just never saw what all the fuss was about. However, I really started to become a Leo fan after seeing his amazing performance in Revolutionary Road. And when I saw Shutter Island in February, I felt a tingling that I never felt while watching one of Leo's movies before. Turns out most of the tingling was in my neck and lower back because we got to the theater late on opening weekend and ended up having to sit in the dreaded front row. But still, about 1/3 of the way into the movie, I turned to my roommate and whispered, "I don't know if it's because his face is 10 stories tall or what, but I am finding him exceptionally hot in this movie." As someone who felt much the same way I did about Leo, she was amazed to find that she was thinking the same thing. I don't know what happened...maybe Leo just wears crazy really well.

8. Matt Bomer
Matt's the second gay on my list (come on, did you really think any man this pretty would be straight?) and the second with ties to Pittsburgh. Although he's from Texas, he graduated from CMU. He went there before I moved to New York, so it's not really fair that I never saw him around town either. (Believe me, I would have never left if I'd been spending my days chilling with Joe Manganiello and Matt Bomer. "Chilling" being code for something much, much dirtier.) And Matt's the third guy on my list who stars on a well-received TV show (two, actually: White Collar and Chuck) that I've never seen. I really need to reassess my viewing schedule.

9. Mark Sanchez
While I don't care at all about the New York Jets (I'm only concerned with the Steelers beating them this weekend), I do enjoy watching their QB move around the field. Also, I'm so glad that there's another dreamboat in the league to take some of the attention away from Tawmmy Brady and Wes Welkaah.

10. Johnny Iuzzini
I don't know what it is I like about this guy. Is it the insane pompadour? Is it the resemblance to Chris Parnell? Is it his way with pastries? Is it that he's most likely gay? Whatever it is, it made me watch Top Chef: Just Desserts, even thought it wasn't nearly as enjoyable as the original Top Chef.

Honorable mentions: Charlie Day, Rob McElhenney and Glenn Howerton from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Dan Auerbach, Ian Somerhalder, Tom Hardy and Chris Hemsworth.

Oh, and while we're on the subject of hot stuff, don't forget to vote for Firecrotch of the Year! You only have until midnight on Sunday 12/19 to cast your ballot! Check out all of the contenders here, and then vote in the poll in the far sidebar.


Victoria said...

Oh my God! That is just...amazing. St. Damon and St. Ewan can watch over me any time...just add St. Tom (Hardy) and we're set. Seriously, he's in this mini-series called The Virgin Queen as Robert Dudley, and...well it's quite epic.
My new pick for 2010 is Benedict Cumberbatch He's so nerdy/awkward/adorbs.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Why have I only heard of one of the guys on your list? Do I not watch enough television or something?

Heff said...

Joel McHale HOT ?!?!?

Geez, I'll give it to him that he's good on The Soup, but that's about it !

I can't force myself to get in to Community. I still wonder why it hasn't been canceled yet.

Scope said...

When I first was Matt Bomer on "Chuck", I knew that he was far to pretty not to get his own TV show. And he did.

But you know what else would be really hot? If people voted "Scope" for fire-crotch of the year.

Just saying.

Kristen said...

I'll take #3. Humor goes a long way.... My all-time hotty is Dave Matthews. Quirkiness is my thing.

red said...

Excellent list, Becks.

Ed said...

I see my picture is missing.


I can only assume that I am #11.


Penny said...

Yay Jonathan Groff!!
I love that you mentioned Charlie Day and Jason Sedakis.
Jason cracks me up on every show and I love when he does those ridiculous dances on Whats Up With That!

Lou said...

Ouch! Sorry 'bout your Steelers...

Oh, wait, no I'm not.

Very interesting list.

Vegetable Assassin said...

You know, I still don't get the Groff thing. I mean he's so clean cut and ordinary looking to me. But you are a freak for the pretty boys woman. Manganiello is hotness itself though so I'll let you off.

I never got the Jon Hamm hotness thing either although I like the guy and he seems super nice in real life.

I guess you and I are safe to have in a bar together as we'd totally like different guys and wouldn't have to kill each other in the ladies room or anything.

Glen Howerton is horrible. I think it's because a) he's so not my type and b) his character in "It's Always Sunny..." is just so abhorrent to me. More than the other two guys, I can see their hotness. Him I want to slap hard and not in a sexy way. I'm sure in real life he's lovely therefore, hotter. Maybe.

I have spoken.

dmarks said...

Haha. I'd only ever seen or heard of #7 before.

bloody awful poetry said...

Wait Matt Bomer is GAY?

Also I had a dream once with that True Blood guy in it, all shirtless and what not, which was weird because I never found him particularly attractive while awake.

Great list of hotness!

gennifer6 said...

I thought Damon would have a regular spot on this list. :) Thanks for throwing Sanchez up there, I agree, he is good to look at and tired of hearing about the adorable Patriots, though I would have picked Aaron Rodgers. :)


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