Yesterday, in one of my Battle of the Netflix Stars posts, I gave a brief synopsis/review of Whip It, the Drew Barrymore-directed film about a young girl who joins a roller derby team. What I didn't mention was that this very enjoyable film reawakened my own on and off fantasies of being a derby girl.For now, I've decided that once I get back into shape (which I'm working on now), I will at least try out for the local league. I'm not sure how far I'm willing to take this pipe dream, though. Although I love skating, I wonder about the physcial aspects of it. I'm not a "tough chick." Sure, maybe those years spent living in New York toughened me up mentally, but not physically. I've never broken any part of my body (KNOCK ON WOOD), unless you count a hairline fracture in my pinky finger. I've never been in a fist fight, unless you count the one with my Dad's girlfriend's daughter when I was eight years old, and there were literally two punches thrown in that "fight." She hit me and I hit her, and it was over. And not because I knocked her out, but because she totally wasn't expecting me to hit her back and she immediately worried that I'd get her in trouble with her Mom. Sooooo...I don't know if I could handle being clotheslined or elbowed in the face.
But I've decided to save those worries for another day. Like try-out day. At this point in the plan, it's all about coming up with a good nickname. You can help. I'm not necessarily looking to put this to a vote, but I'm interested in your feedback on my possible monikers. These are the ones I've come up with so far. Some are based on pop culture and others are just takes on my own name (and Scope deserves partial credit for the last two):
- Pearl Slam (this is my current favorite, for obvious reasons)
- Tina Slay
- Lucille Brawl
- Erin Go Brawl
- Rachael Rage
- Betty Krueger
- Bruise-Ann Somers
- Eve McQueen
- Veronica Ache
- Sandra Bullet
- Bully Andrews
- Becky Bruiser
- Rebecca the Wrecka
- Rebeccatasrophe
- Eva Knievel
- Helena Handbasket
Comments
Hatem O'Neal
Juana Rumble
I thought female roller derby was cool back in the late '70s when it came on TV. Early reality TV. I loved watching it.
I grew up in Manhattan and got into many fights in my day. Once, a boy wouldn't leave us alone to jump rope, so I whipped him across the face with the plastic rope. He came back with a board with nails on it.
*Here you can cue in the fight theme from Star Trek: Pon Farr*
He was coming at me with the board while I fought him off with the rope.
It was an epic fight. Not my first and not my last.
Eventually, some dad grabbed the boy from behind and took the board with nails away from him.
Surprisingly, neither one of us got into any trouble at all. I guess that dates me as a dinosaur. No way I could even think of going into roller derby now... but there was a time.
You need to put fear in your opponents. Maybe you should call yourself Iron Monster with Knives or Killer Girl/Two Deaths. Otherwise, you'll be turned into mush. A big ol' pile of mush.
How about "Killer E. Clinton" ?
Too much of a stretch?
Now get that video cam out and show us some of your best moves.
How about Xana Don't?
Yeah, Lucille Brawl.
As for the name, Veronica Ache strikes me as the most fearsome as the rest promise pain that doesn't last very long, but an ache can last forever.
Just in case you are open to names that are not in your list, how about Tina Torture?
There's a Roller Derby name generator site out there somewhere.
It's always been kind of a dream of mine too, but I think I may be delusional about my level of fiestiness.
The fearless rollerskating-obsessed ten year old I once was is thrilled beyond words at this derby plan of yours, by the way. You're going to be living my 5th grade ultimate dream, Beckeye! Awesome! I sooo wanna see pictures. :-)