Thursday, February 17, 2011

American Idol 10: Go To Your Rooms, Children

In the final night of Hollywood week, the cast of way-too-many gets cut down to 50. Each of the remaining contestants performs, with the option to have the backing band and/or their own instruments or perform a capella. Because I'm super tired, I'm not going to bother listing the auditions in order. Time to knock this out Good/Bad/Ugly style!


Ashthon Jones - Yeah, she has a superfluous H in her name, but at least it's not apostrophed. (I'm looking at you, Asia'h Epp'e'r'son.) Ashthon blows the diva classic "And I Am Telling You" out da box, much to everyone's delight. You go, Little Miss Sassy Britches.

Kendra Chantelle and Sophia Shorai - One of them will probably end up getting cut because they seem awfully similar, but they both did really well with "Georgia on My Mind."

Carson Higgins - I LOVE this kid. He's just kind of yelling, but oh my God, he's so much fun to watch. He busts out Bobby B's "My Prerogative," much to the chagrin of Chris Medina. (More on him later.)

Casey Abrams - The bluesy redhead shows up and rocks a STAND UP BASS, people. For that, I rise and give a slow clap.

Caleb Hawley - Remember how much more fun my recaps were when I was waist-deep in Michael Johns-based drool? Well, I decided that I needed a new obsession—and Caleb is it. He's already got one up on that Johns guy because I think I once (or twice) tweeted at MJ and got no response. But I merely tweeted about Caleb (you know, that I was considering him for my new object of lust), and he not only nicely answered my bird call, but followed me. So, there's that. There's also the sexy, soulful voice. And then we have THE HAIR. My God, that hair. Not to mention that he looks like the missing link between Paul Rudd and Patrick Dempsey (with Eddie Vedder's hair). And yeah, he's married but that's OK. Obsessing over straight single guys is boring.

Brett Lowenstern - Little Red doesn't really have the greatest voice I've ever heard, but I can't help but like him.

Jacqueline Dunford - Surprised? Well, she's only in this category because she's not singing. In fact, I'll never have to hear her sing again! She claims to be sick (read: Nick kept calling and threatening to kill himself if she didn't come home to him) and drops out of the competition.

Jacob Lusk - This is kind of an ironic choice for "The Good," as I enjoy Jacob's performance in the same way I might enjoy a drag revue. Seriously, AI, get this guy into hair and makeup, stat.


Julie Zorrilla - Yeah, yeah. Pretty girl, good singer, plays keyboards, works the refugee angle, wears stupid dresses. I can't decide if I like her or not. But finding out that she went to the prom with Casey Abrams is a point in her favor. Maybe she's not just a pretty plastic princess.

Clint Jun Gamboa - Again, not sure how I feel about this one. Clint can definitely sing, but I can't shake the feeling that he's going to go into full-on bitchy queen mode very soon.

Robbie (Arjewleta) Rosen - I forget what he's singing because I'm too busy wondering which is bigger: his nose or mouth. But he's a nice, inoffensive scoop of vanilla.

Chelsee Oaks - She does a pretty weak version of "Because of You." I'm just kind of over this girl. Her ex-lovah got booted and her new BFF Jacqueline is gone, so all she wants to do is cry.

Lauren Alaina - Oh yay, we get to hear that stupid asteroid love song and watch this girl suck up to Steven Tyler—again. And then J.Lo (not Randy!) reminds us that Lauren's ZOMG ONLY 15—again. I think this girl has a good voice, but I'm not sure she deserves the massive pimping she's getting. And if I have to see that audition clip of her singing this same song with Steven one more time, I'm going to lose it.

John Wayne Schulz - He does a nice version of "Landslide" (with forced harmony by J.Lo) but it's a little monotonous. And I wish he would take off the damn cowboy hat.

Stefano Langone, Jovany Barretto and Jacee Badeaux all sort of whiz by unremarkably. I still think Jacee is a sweetie, but I don't know if he's really cut out for this.


Thia Megia - Her rendition of "What a Wonderful World" is actually the best I've heard her sing, but I still hate her affected voice.

Chris Medina - Like Carson, Chris is performing "My Prerogative." But Chris decides it would be a good idea to go the Andrew Garcia route by trying to transform it into a jaunty little acoustic coffeehouse number. Note to all future contestants: provided you even remember who the hell Andrew Garcia is, don't ever model yourself after him.

Colton Dixon - I just DO NOT like this guy. He sings Daughtry and looks like the douchey lead singer of a Flock of Seagulls tribute band. Bah.

Ashley Sullivan - She forgets her lyrics! She cries! She turns into Babbling Brooke! No surprises here.

Scotty McCreery and Tatynisa Wilson both fail to nail the lyrics of "I Hope You Dance," one of the easier songs in the world to learn. Come on, people, it's not "Scenes From an Italian Restaurant." However, McCreepy almost makes me want to put him in the "Good" pile when he starts singing about "nuts of wonder." I've gotta figure out how to make that my new catch-phrase.


Haley Reinhart - Wow, people like this mess? What song is she even singing? I can't understand a word in between all the growling and whatever the hell else her mouth is doing.

Adrian Michael and Caleb Johnson have no idea what they're doing, so they blame the band for their suckage. Frances Coontz can't find her key, but blames no one.

I'd like to thank the editors for not showing James Durbin's performance, which I'm sure would have landed squarely in the "Ugly" pile.

Finally, everyone is split up among four rooms to await their fates. When I spot Caleb in Room 1 with Ashley, I worry. But then I see Durbin, Medina, Lauren, Jacee, Brett, Clint and Casey there and quickly breathe a sigh of relief. And, sure enough, they're all safe!

The folks in Rooms 2 and 3 (Chelsee and a bunch of people I barely remember) get cut, while the peeps in Room 4 (Carson, Julie, Jovany and McCreepy) advance. Also in Room 4 but not seen much in Hollywood is Rachel Zevita, one of my favorite girls (especially now that Emily Anne and Adrienne are gone).

Next week, the remaining 50 head to Las Vegas for a Beatles songbook showdown. I'm not sure how McCreepy and Ashley made it through tonight, but I look forward to the former trying to make it through a Beatles song next week and the latter trying to get through five seconds without some sort of emotional outburst.

Find more Idol news and recaps at SirLinksaLot.


Ian said...

Casey Abrams bugs me. I think it's partly that he always makes me think of Seth Rogen (who I can't stand) and partly that his singing has yet to impress me. It's cool that he can play all these odd instruments, but the negatives still outweigh the positives as far as I'm concerned.

I'm so glad they finally got rid of Chelsee Oaks. Every time they bring up the whole "OMG she tried out with her ex!" story I yell at the TV "Nobody cares!" Hopefully we've seen the last of that annoying plotline.

I never thought I'd say this, but most of the contestants I've found myself rooting for this season have been teenage boys (Jacee, Scotty, Brett and Robbie, though I'm not that attached to any of them). I guess it's because the younger contestants generally have smaller egos and aren't polished to the point of seeming like ready-made pop stars.

Cora said...

Did Stefano Langone make it through, do you know? The room axing happened so fast I couldn't tell if he was cut or not. I kinda like that kid.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Am I crazy? I LOVED last night's performances...

So much talent.The chick that lead the day? I dont remember her name, but I remember her face and I liked her voice. I liked her whole schtick.

But Casey Abrams stole the show. This dude is so ugly he's beautiful and when he opens his mouth I'm mesmerized. The base? This guy could turn out to be a David Cook darkhorse. Ditto on the standing slow clap.

So Ashley is from Springfield MA and I have to ask, why? I laughed my ass off when I read you yesterday and you mentioned her crack pipe. Brilliant, I don't know how I didn't see it. I know she makes for good TV, but I think I might have a panic attack if I'm forced to watch her for more than 3 minutes. Does she have a good voice? She might, if she could perform a whole song, for crying out loud.

J. Lo is dazzling...her maternal kindness and beauty brings a warmth to the show in contrast to last season's cut throat, and Steven..The dude looks like a lady, but he's what we keep coming back for. It's like we are getting a glimpse of every day Rock and Roll royalty.

I'm having fun again.

and yeah, Caleb's hot in a Dave Grohl kinda way.

Ed said...

I can't believe the blond, who was the other half of that rediculously in love couple, got sick and withdrew.

She had such a sweet ass.

BeckEye said...

Ian - I like Casey. But I agree the whole ex-lovah storyline was played out.

Cora - I have a feeling he made it but I'm not sure. I guess we'll find out next week!

Candy - Dave Grohl??? Girl, you crazy.

Ed - She was a terrible singer, not that you'd notice. Maybe J.Lo paid her to leave? Only room for one star ass on the show.

Anonymous said...

Ha ive heard lauren sing live she deserves it more than anyone... her faith in herself alone is more than any cridict can stand.... give the girl a chance shes only 15

Scope said...

Every time Ashley was on the screen, I think I said something like, "Just go home", "Tap out", "DIE DRAMA WHORE! DIE!"

And I like Jacee, but he's not ready.

Coaster Punchman said...

Just let me know when they're down to the final 12 so I can start watching.

Dale said...

The use of subtitles for Scott and Whatshername made me howl, I had to rewind and laugh all over again. Of course Ashley is only there for ratings and the prayer that she might completely spin out on live television. If they screw up in Beatles Love Land, I hope the circus folk have a cannon ready to fire them off in.

Way to recap Beckeye!

bloody awful poetry said...

Oh wow I completely forgot this show still exists. And I'm so happy you're still recapping! Especially since I don't have access to a TV during weekdays now. Also I had a look at this Caleb person, and while he is no Michael Johns, I approve of his hair.


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