Tuesday, April 12, 2011

BeckEye's Not-So-Excellent Adventures in Fashion

Here I am (on your left) around 1985-1986 with the same ex-friend from the last installment. (Thanks to the sunglasses, I don't have to protect her anonymity with a black bar.) I think this may have been in downtown Pittsburgh during a field trip, although that Burger King in the back doesn't look familiar. This honestly looks more like South Side but, if you're from Pittsburgh, you'll know that there's really no reason to take a bunch of junior high kids to South Side unless you're actually trying to get them drunk and, as terrible as my school was, they wouldn't have allowed that.

I can't even begin to explain everything that is awesomely appalling about this ensemble but I'll give it a shot:
  • Half top. HALF TOP.
  • The "Beach Bunny" decal on said half top. (Obviously, I got this in the same place that nearly every teenage girl in the tri-state area got their Beach Bunny half tops: Ocean City, MD.)
  • Said half top paired with extremely high-waisted genie pants.
  • Permed, feathered mullet that is, sadly, mostly obscured by the hat.
  • THE HAT. Worn backwards, natch. I actually remember this hat well. It was some type of floppy, flimsy baseball cap that was white in the back (the part you can see) and on the bill, with a purple and white polka dot design on the front. Apparently I was wearing it to ensure that nothing on me accidentally matched.
I guess I should be proud of those ginormous sunglasses, though. I was wearing 'em before those twiggy reality stars realized they were cool. Also, that Risky Business pose? Very original and super awesome. I'm surprised I wasn't the most popular girl in my school, I really am.


tennysoneehemingway said...

How is it even possible that you could wear an outfit like that and NOT be the most popular girl in school?

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You have to bring that look back! You will be the most popular person on the internet.

Heff said...

That's o.k.

I find that women usually look better unclothed, anyway.

Just take 'em off, I'll wait.

cube said...

Don't be so hard on yourself. We ALL looked bad back then. The hair and fashion was, well, appalling. By releasing the photos on the Internet, you are proving that your are braver than the rest of us.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Aw come on. It was the eighties and having said that, you got off light. I have some eye melting ones of me at the same age wearing a PINK EFFING BERET and platinum spiky hair. I have a distinct feeling the '80s' authorities put something bad in the water. It's the only explanation for everyone dressing like clowns for ten years...

Scope said...

I triple dog dare you to rock that look next weekend.

Cora said...

I'm with Veggie. We all looked like idiots. We didn't know any better. And did they even sell non-clown-y clothes in the stores back then? I don't think so, so what choice did we have?

words...words...words... said...

I'll grab my Z. Cavariccis and be right over!


Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

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I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

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