Monday, May 23, 2011

BeckEye's Not-So-Excellent Adventures in Fashion

The only good news about this picture is that those aren't Hammer pants. But they may as well be.

This was taken in either Ocean City or Myrtle Beach (most likely Ocean City) but I'm not sure when. I doubt I was 18 at this point, but I'm sure I was over 15, so I was certainly old enough to know better. Let's take a gander at what clueless young Beckeye is wearing: a black, sleeveless mock turtleneck (I LOVED that thing), flats of some sort and pegged, mustard-colored genie pants that are brighter than the nearby park's neon lights. And the dorky pose isn't helping at all. As if that shirt didn't make me look like a no-neck to begin with, I had to scrunch up so that my shoulders are coming out of my chin??

You know, when I look at this ensemble, I can't help but think that last year's Project Runway winner, Gretchen, would probably love it. As if anyone needed further proof that she was the worst winner ever.


tennysoneehemingway said...

Where were you when I was 16? I would have been ALL over you in that ensemble. In the nicest possible way of course.

Mnmom said...

Frankly I'm disappointed that they aren't hammer pants.

MJenks said...

It could just be because your hair is blending in with the dark background, but your head looks inordinately small for your shoulders in this picture. I don't believe you ever wore this. I think you've shopped together something for cheap laughs.

I'm on to you, young lady! *points accusing finger*

McGone said...

So do I still get my three wishes?

Billy said...

I wanna say mean things about that look, but I can't, because I feel all guilty about it, and at the same point I was prolly wearing JAMS three years past their due date even though they sucked the day they emerged.

But yes, the black top with black background offers a lot of funny thoughts about how that picture could actually be three different people contorting into a single human appearance.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I'm sorry, all I can think of here is that "I'm a Little Teapot" song they make you sing at kindergarten.... I can't THINK why.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Don't be so modest! Those are totally Hammer pants!

So. Cal. Gal said...

Where's your ne...ohh...never mind.

My wv: predy (who can tell?) ; )

BeckEye said...

Tennyson - I'm starting to wonder about you, man. ;)

Mnmom - I guess I wasn't legit enough for those.

Mjenks - Yeah, you're right. It's a PhotoShop. That's the ticket!

McGone - Only if one of them is that I never dressed so badly.

Billy - Ah, JAMS. I remember them well.

Veg - I wish I could've tipped over and poured out all of my horrible fashion sense.

Barbara - Alas, they are not. There was definitely a crotch.

So Cal Gal - And Tyra yells at her ANTM girls for not showing their necks more. She'd probably lose her mind if she saw this picture.

Cora said...

You've come a long way, baby.

Macy said...

You're telling me that there's something wrong with sleeveless black turtlenecks??? Really??? What else would you wear with orange hammer pants???


Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

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I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

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