Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Sperminator

I used to call K-Fed "The Sperminator," but now that Arnold Schwarzenegger has a love child (and since K-Fed's 15 minutes were up a long time ago), the nickname can attach itself to an even more fitting host.

So, yeah, Ah-nold got a household staffer knocked up. Ah-nold cheated on Maria Shriver for pretty much their entire marriage. I know I shouldn't be surprised by any of this, but I am. Because it never ceases to amaze me how money can cause so many women to lower their standards. Seriously, several women willingly had sex with this guy? EWW. It's even grosser if you imagine, like I do, that his mid-sex shout-outs are lines like, "CONTRACT YOUR AB MUSCLES!" and "WHO IS YOUR DADDY AND WHAT DOES HE DO?" and
"GLLAARRRAAAGGGHHHHHAARRRGHHH!!!!" Not to mention O-faces that will give you nightmares for weeks!


J.J. in L.A. said...

EWW is right. Have you seen this dude in a bathing suit lately?

It ain't pretty.

Vina said...

Oh no....THANKS for putting that "O Face" thought in my head! Double EEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!

Heff said...

LMAO !!!

"Ho-man The Fornicator !!"

cube said...

Ahnold wasn't very choosy either...

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Yeah thanks for THOSE visuals, woman. Especially, when you imagine his mid-sex shout outs in THAT ACCENT!

Actually, no, that makes them HILARIOUS! :)

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Thanks for supplying my nightmares with fuel for the foreseeable future.

MJenks said...

Gah. Nightmare fuel. Well done.

*drinks bleach*

Cormac Brown said...

Damn, he was right, it wasn't a tumor after all.


Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

My photo
I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

What Do Others Think of BeckEye?

"You're like an idiot savant of terrible garbage entertainment." - Falwless

"You're my hero." - Candy

"Get yourself a life. Better yet.....eff off." - Ann Onymous

"There's no one like you." - Klaus Meine