Sunjaya, You're Off the Hook

As many of you know, I had been rooting for Sunjaya to get the boot from American Idol, primarily because of his intensely high creep-out factor. Last night, however, another contestant did something so vile...so blasphemous, that I no longer care if that little wooden boy sticks around. I don't even care if he makes it all the way to the Top 3. There is a greater evil at hand on AI, and it must be dealt with. Sundance Head must be destroyed.

Sundance, what makes you think that being one of the best blues-light karaoke singers at your local dive qualifies you to touch a Pearl Jam song? You shouldn't be allowed to own a Pearl Jam record after shredding "Jeremy" like you did. You shouldn't even be allowed to say the words "pearl" or "jam" again. You should be banned from even having jam on toast, you hack.

When Seacrest announced prior to the commercial break that Sun BlockHead would be doing a PJ song, I should've turned the TV off right then and there. But no, my morbid curiosity got the best of me. Not surprisingly, Paula and Randy thought the performance was just fine. Simon proved, once again, that he's the only judge with a brain in his head. He didn't use the word "ghastly" though, as he often does. If ever there was a time to pull that baby out, it was during that peformance. I'm just hoping that I'll eventually forget the horror. My inner voice keeps chanting, try to forget this...try to erase this from the blackboard. I'll try. Until then, I'll just stand around looking like this:




But not nearly as hot.