American Idol 8 Results: 4/29/09 (Part II: Adam Lambert is Love)

I still haven't seen any footage from last night's results show, so I'm going to have to skip the full-fledged recap this week. I know, it's sad. But look, I need a break from those Ford commercials anyway. And I don't think I could've suffered through a Jamie Foxx song. I can't take him seriously as a singer. Or an actor, for that matter. He'll always be Wanda to me. Heyyyyyy.

After reading Candy's (first-ever) recap, I discovered that the only interesting thing that happened last night was that Madame Glambert was in the Bottom 2. People went nuts over the injustice of it all. Well, people who still have faith that the producers of this show aren't lying to us every other minute...and I am not one of those people.

Much like I will never believe that my beloved Michael Johns (Season 7) received the lowest amount of votes the week he was eliminated, no one can convince me that Adam was actually put in the Bottom 2 by the public. This show may use viewer votes, but I think they're used more like a loose guide to get a feel for which Idols are the most popular. Then, the producers take that info and manipulate things the way they want them. It's all about ratings.

Making it look like the clear star of the season is in danger of being ousted is a brilliant strategy, really. Because, even though I love Adam dearly, this season was turning into a bit of a snoozefest. It reminds me of the MLB, and why I don't follow baseball anymore. The teams who have the money win. No one else can even compete. It's no fun to watch the Yankees or the Braves walk away with their divisions every year. (ETA: Or whatever teams are winning these days. It's been pointed out that my references are dated. I stopped following baseball in 1992, people, what do you expect?) Even if you're a fan of those teams, I have to imagine that it just gets boring at some point. Same with this season of Idol. The guy with all the experience and charm always gives the best performance. Others may do well, but no one can hold a candle to him. Every week, he is the one viewers can't wait to hear - even the viewers who may not like his "screaming" vocals. Because he's interesting. And, for this show, he's something new. Something special. He's the glue holding this season together.

But he's also the constant reminder of how mediocre everyone else is. (With the possible exception of Allison. But even though she's got the chops, she doesn't have Adam's it factor.) Putting him on the chopping block was necessary. AI desperately needed to inject some life into this season.

They also desperately need to eject Kara DioGuardi.

As it turned out, the only one ejected last night was Matt Giraud, as I predicted. They lanced him like a giant boil on a forehead. (Hint, hint.) Just in time, too because next week is...

ROCK AND ROLLLLL, MUTHAHUMPERS!!

The esteemed Mr. Saul Hudson will be mentoring the Idols, so I hope he talks Adam into singing "Sweet Child O' Mine." Actually, no. Scratch that. Even though that would be awesome, I'm hoping that he morphs into Adam GlamRock with a cover of T. Rex's "20th Century Boy."

It's kind of sad that the mere thought of that possible performance is more exciting to me than anything I've seen from anyone else this whole season.


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