Monday, April 27, 2009

Things I Learned Over the Weekend

Bea Arthur died. I was never a huge fan, and never joined the Golden Girls cult, but Bea seemed like a pretty cool and classy lady, and certainly was a TV icon. It was a shame to hear of her battle with cancer.

Susan Boyle plucked her eyebrows, dyed her hair, and bought a leather jacket. *sigh* How soon before she's clubbing with LiLo's momz?

Twitter is all the rage with every celebrity except the ones I actually give two shits about. Ashton Kutcher has the most Twitter followers? Seriously?? What could he possibly be doing that's of interest to anyone? Buying hats? And I never needed to know that Oprah can't work her caps lock, or that Courtney Love thinks that Pamela Anderson is a skank. I mean, really, celebs are always bitching about people not respecting their privacy, and now they're just finding new and more inane ways of broadcasting their every move? I hate this stupid service, and I will NEVER hand my life over to it...unless Eddie Vedder starts tweeting.

We are all thismuchcloser to exploding into a giant, gassy ball of flame. Seriously. On Friday it was rainy and chilly but on Saturday morning, I woke up in the deep end of a pool of sweat. Eventually, we'll be acting out a real-life version of that Twilight Zone episode, "The Midnight Sun," and Al Gore will be running around in his underwear yelling, "I told you so!"

If you don't believe in global warming, how is this for a sign that the end is near: Beyoncé's new flick, Basic Attraction or Fatal Instinct (or something like that), is the #1 movie in the country. Now, I'm not sure if she's the actual devil or just one of his minions, but I think there's no questioning that she's some sort of evil, supernatural being. There's no other explanation for this movie's success, or for how she can be everywhere at once.

I regret my earlier comments about Jason Segel's "creepiness." As I mentioned last week, I Netflixed Freaks and Geeks and fell in love with the show after the first three episodes. Well, after watching the following three, I started looking episodes up on YouTube because I couldn't wait to watch the rest of the series. Unfortunately, some of the audio had been removed from several of the clips, so I just went to Best Buy, bought the DVDs, and didn't move from my couch until I had seen every episode. And maybe I watched a few of them again, with commentary. And maybe I re-watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall. And maybe I found myself completely in love with Jason Segel by last night. And maybe I found myself hoping that he would be driving through my neighborhood one of these days and would pull over to ask me for directions. (You really have to click that link to see my initial assessment of him for this statement to make any sense.) So, it looks like the tables have turned and I am the creepy one now. I'm totally obsessed.

Obsessed! That's the name of Beyoncé's crappy movie.

Anyway, I want to be a good obsessor, but here is my problem. I have never seen a single episode of Jason's show, How I Met Your Mother. And even though I've heard only good things about it, I don't know if I can give my life to one more TV program. I don't have a fancy DVR like a lot of you, so it's not like picking up new shows is easy for me. In order to properly commit to a show, I have to schedule my life around it. Advice?


Bond said...

Get a DVR.

Well, you asked for advice.

Other than that, watch the show, I truly enjoy it.

Anonymous said...


Damn it, who am I going to talk shit to about him now? Creepy dude.

You know, I'm almost alarmed when Courtney Love does anything involving having to use words. I've never seen a less coherent person in my life and I've seen Danny Bonaduce drunk in the street. Why does she even bother? Women can't write, spell, make sense or type. Or sing. Or do anything except piss me off.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

So, Courtney thinks that Pam's a skank, huh? Seems as though that rehab assignment is working out great!

I'm pretty sure that Beyonce only made number one because everyone's saving up for Wolverine and Star Trek in the next two weekends.

SkylersDad said...

Lots of ground to cover here, and only so much time. So here goes:

Never liked Bea, but understood she had talent.

Why are they trying so hard to change Susan?

All guys follow Ashton to find out boning reports on Demi.

have you seen the Nova show about the melting icecap? Seriously scary shit.

I think I would agree to sell my soul, or at least kill a hobo to never see Beyonce again.

Buy a DVR, I love my TiVo, and Niel Patrick Harris is... wait for it... awesome in How I Met Your Mother.

Movie Maven said...

Do whatever you can to see HIMYM. It's wonderful.

I'm really glad we can be in agreement on the Jason Segel question, since we're already fighting over Paul Rudd.

McGone said...

The episodes on DVD are only 22 minutes or so without the commercials. You could watch two in the time it takes to rewatch one Freaks and Geeks with commentary. Come on, why are you trying to fool us into thinking you're so busy?

red said...

See! Told ya! I'm searching for a man with a ginormous drum kit.

I think, if you're gonna get into HIMYM, you should go back and start from the begining...mostly because it's not quite as good as it once was. Also, that show is all about NPH.

And seriously, get a DVR!

Alice said...

DEFINITELY on HIMYM. although i'm with red, start with netflixing all the early seasons, and then you won't even need to ask our advice because you won't NOT be able to watch the current episodes. trust me.

Cora said...

Freaks and Geeks is utterly addictive! I couldn't tear myself away from my couch after I got the DVDs for Christmas either.

As for Susan Boyle, say it isn't so. Please, please, say it isn't so. *sniffle*

Gifted Typist said...

Are u on twitter? Must find u.

Pepe Le Pew said...

How I met Your Mother is well worth watching, but Ted's a douchebag ...

Id turn gay for Jason Segel ...

Speaking of, in the dvd extras there is a clip of him making out with Neil Patrick Harris.

True story!

Oh and another reason to watch, Barney is a fellow Blogger, link below.

words...words...words... said...

One more voice in the chorus telling you to watch HIMYM. Especially the first season, which is tremendous. It's still worth watching, but there was a little something captured there in the first season that you can't get again.

Cormac Brown said...

Forget the DVR, get Michael Johns to tape everything for you. Genius, eh?

Falwless said...

I'm so glad you came around. Don't forget to catch I Love You, Man. You may want to watch it alone. Naked. With free hands.

Just sayin'.

bloody awful poetry said...

I, too, would like to watch this Freaks & Geeks thing. Only because James Franco is in it. And he is purdy.

Also, I dig-eth the new blog layout.

Fancy Schmancy said...

Speaking of Beyonce, have you heard the board feed that someone leaked from Good Morning America or the Today Show or something, and Howard Stern played it on his show? It was so off-key, it was painful. I'll try to find the link if you haven't heard it.

dguzman said...

About the only Twatter update I'd read on Ashton Kucher would be the one he wouldn't be able to type in:
I'm dead.

Heidi said...

Susan Boyle looks SO much like the homeless woman from Home Alone 2: Lost in NY!!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Not even Beyonce kick-boxing a bitch will do it for you, eh?

Paticus said...

For my two cents...I have a similar obsession with Alyson Hannigan, but I had to give up on HIMYM after the first season. NPH is very good in it, but it's just bad sitcom writing. Just keep re-watching Freaks & Geeks, MUCH higher quality.


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