Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Caption Crotch-test Contest #23

Heidi demonstrates her "technique," using the 3rd most vile thing she has ever swallowed.


There is this month's winning caption, provided by your newest Firecrotch, Skyler's Dad. Although he tries every month, it's been over a year since Mr. Dirty Mind last won the most coveted award in all of Blogdom. Finally, Skyler can be proud of his father again instead of ashamedly moping around like Sylvester Junior.


Your 2nd, 3rd and 4th losers runners up are...

Because I'm strangely fascinated by this new colon blow trend: Heidi Montag demonstrates "Scorpion Snake," the colon cleanse of the stars! - Words Words Words

Because I'm a sucker for '80s humor: Like, gag me with scorpion! - Cora

Because I'm a sucker for fictional reality TV shows: This week's loser on "I'm A Scorpion, Please Get Me Out Of Here" - Deadspot

For that same reason, Catherinette gets an honorable mention for not entering a caption, but making me long for the day when FOX or VH1 finally creates Hooker Safari.

29 comments:

Tootsie said...

Fun Facts About Scorpions:

Sometimes the female scorpion eats her mate.

Cora said...

"Like, gag me with scorpion"

SkylersDad said...

Heidi demonstrates her "technique" using the 3rd most vile thing she has ever swallowed.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Oh man. I still don't know what this vapid fluzey and her nasty evil boyfriend do. I mean don't you need some talent to be a celebrity? Otherwise you're just an attention whore.

Not YOU. I mean YOU are awesome.

Skylersdad beat me to a "things she will swallow" joke. Pout.

Billy said...

"Believing the 'Chicken of the Sea' joke is what rocketed Jessica Simpson to fame, Heidi attempts to convince talent scouts that scorpions are the 'Chicken of the Desert.'"

(OK, I tried, but SkylersDad is gonna win this going away.)

words...words...words... said...

Heidi Montag demonstrates "Scorpion Snake", the colon cleanse of the stars!

ÄsK AliCë said...

"OMG, you mean it's not, like, the same idea as sushi?!"

Knot said...

Couldn't be worse than what she puts in her pants.

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

Heidi shows her ecological side by making mankind feel sorry for a disgusting scorpion.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

There's no way I can top SkylersDad's caption. Can I just vote for that?

Bond said...

"If I can do this, I can do you Spencer...promise"

Lila Sweetheart said...

Holy cow did she actually eat that?? I'm shocked!

Falwless said...

UM HELLO????? YOUR POST TAG???? HELLO???? IT'S HEIDI PRATT NOW. Sheesh.

LiLu said...

Please tell me you saw the music video I posted...

mylittlebecky said...

i vote for sd's "flesh beard's peen is gross"

Soda and Candy said...

"Hey, it couldn't sting worse than the clap... I mean, right?!"

Cormac Brown said...

To the tune of a certain song by The Scorpions-

Here I am
Reading cue cards because I'm so lame

boubou said...

Bonjour !
first time i come across your blog, so im gonan visit it now :)
well if you wanna be inspired by my collage or just dream, come and visit my blog :)
a bientot!
Boubouteatime xx

catherinette said...

I can't think of a clever caption, but I do have a very important question to as: what on God's green earth is she wearing?

She looks like she's going on hooker safari or something.

Kimizzy said...

The Scorpion:

"WTF?! It's not MY fault no one knows (or cares) who you are!!"

deadspot said...

This week's loser on I'm A Scorpion, Please Get Me Out Of Here

deadspot said...

In other news, I would totally watch Hooker Safari.

words...words...words... said...

Congrats to Skyler's Dad!

I loved Deadspot's, it made me LOL.

Soda and Candy said...

Hahahhahaa.

Congrats Skyler's Dad!

Um, oh dear, I am afraid to ask what the second thing was (and even more afraid that I'm sure what the first thing was).

Slyde said...

that is OUTSTANDING!

i love it!

Bubs said...

I love it.

Cora said...

CONGRATS TO SKY DAD!!!!

And YAY for me too for being the third place loser. I think....?

SkylersDad said...

Thank you my dear, I will try to use my award only for good, not evil. I just updated my blog with the award and bloggy love for you!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

That was the awesomest caption in the history of awesome captions. Seriously.

 

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