Monday, October 05, 2009

Leave the Fashion 'Splainin' to Me

Hey! Remember the '80s? Lindsay Lohan does! Even though she was born in 1986.

LiLo was recently awarded the opportunity to breath down Ungaro designer Estrella Archs' neck, and the end result was a fashion backward, hastily thrown together line that received a rather chilly reception when it was unveiled at Paris Fashion Week.

The fashion elite are giving Lindsay a hard time, but she should be applauded for having a very consistent point of view. I mean, clearly these clothes were designed for girls who like Blondie, candy hearts, and nose candy. So...pretty much every twentysomething girl who shops at American Apparel and, therefore, can't afford this crap.

It would have been quite a task to review the entire line, so I've just pulled out some key pieces and featured them in the slideshow below. Enjoy!

And hey, when you're done making fun of LiLo, go make fun of Brit Brit in this month's caption contest!


mylittlebecky said...

picture captions? the best part! kids these days :)

Tennyson ee Hemingway said...

I don't see how they're any worse than most fashion show distasters.

WendyB said...

The scariest thing was Lindsay's appearance. Oh, I shouldn't say that. She looks great for 60!

Anonymous said...

I kinda agree with Tennyson - it's ghastly but no more ghastly than any other runway fashion for the youth of today that thinks it's edgy. Having said that, it's ugly and that's my opinion. And like Wendy said, damn that girl looks old.

bloody awful poetry said...

Them clothes are pretty ugly, but then again, I can't tell the difference from Lindsay's stuff and the so-called high-fashion couture that totters down today's runways. But your captions, they be awesome.

Organic Meatbag said...

Lindsey, stick a fork in yourself, because you've been done for years...the fork should fit nicely amongst the heroin tracks in your arms...

Doc said...

"Orange is the new Pink!"

Hell, even I could have whipped up something better than this and I'm a fashion-impaired boob.

For example:
Is this supposed to be the kind of clothing you wear to work on Monday, or what you put on to go have cocktails with your peeps? Will this be on the "What's Hot" rack at my local Target? Do these come in plus sizes with easy to operate fasteners for the girl on the go? Inquiring minds want to know.

This may sound a little Peter Pan of me, but what about some effing pockets? Where are you going to put your keys and cell phone in these travesties? I can't think of a woman that I know that these would look good on. Not one.

Pardon me if I sound a bit simplistic, but clothes are supposed to do three things: protect you from the elements and cover your ass, have pockets for your "everyday" stuff as well as being long-wearing, affordable, should be comfortable for three of the four seasons, and make you look good enough that someone will want to have sex with you.

These flunk all of the above criteria, badly. I'm no fashionista, but Flannery has made me sit through enough episodes of Project Runway and America's Next Top Model to know that this line is seven miles of bad road.

You'd be better off to buy a flannel shirt and a Carhardt coat, and to complete the look with a nice pair of Red Wing boots and some khaki slacks. The cowboy hat or ball cap that says, "I like boobs" is optional.


Anonymous said...

You know what I think they should do? Bring back that celebrity beat down show when 2 washed up has beens get in a ring and fight each other.

Who would win? Brit Brit or Lindsay? The world wants to know...

Bond said...

OK, so now it is unanimous...everyone hates LiLo

SkylersDad said...

It's not the years on LiLo, it's the ,mileage.

My takeaway from this is that I am going to start a line of clothes from Doc!

Gifted Typist said...

stick insects, the lot of them

Cora said...

I wouldn't be caught dead in any of that crap. I'd be happier in a Hefty garbage sack - hey, at least it would cover me up and wouldn't knock me back hundreds of dollars!

Candy's daily Dandy said...

That slide show was no doubt better than the actual fashion show.


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