Because I Haven't Picked on Paris Hilton in a While

I knew she'd be back to annoy me one of these days.

Apparently, Paris is a big Gorillaz fan. Last weekend at Coachella (which Gorillaz closed out with their Sunday headline slot), the gangly aardvark nosed a bunch of people out of the way at the backstage bar to get to my #3 man, Damon Albarn. When she finally got to him, she kissed him on the cheek and then tried to keep his attention by blathering on about graffiti artist Banksy, who did the cover art for Blur's Think Tank. According to the story, Paris told Damon that she personally knew Banksy, even though the artist has long kept his identity secret.

Oh, to have been a fly on the wall (or better yet, a human on Damon's lap) during that "conversation." Because I'm pretty sure that Paris represents everything that Damon (and every other normal, thinking person) hates. And I'm pretty sure Damon is one of the few people who actually knows "the real Banksy." Annnnd I'm pretty sure Paris was lying through her giant snout.

It could be true though. I mean, I'm sure a British cult hero who's worked so hard to remain anonymous would definitely befriend an American celebutard. Because there would be virtually no danger of her ever drunkenly tweeting his identity.

Nice try, Paris. Now, don't you have a halfway house to build? It's been two years since you made that promise. Hey, you should get your good pal Banksy to decorate the walls!