Thursday, August 12, 2010

Caption Crotch-test Contest #37

Once again, Paris is caught on film going down.

Although Paris just quenched the flames of her boiling crab nest, when one firecrotch ends, another begins. And this time the torch has been passed to Ed, the Firecrotch of the hot-hot-hottest month of the year!
And now the runners-up:

"Oh great. We finally get a handle on the Gulf oil thing, and someone starts dumping more toxic sludge in the water." - Scope

"In the event of a water landing your fake boobs can be used as flotation devices. We hope you enjoyed your flight with us on Skank Air." - Skyler's Dad (I think that JetBlue flight attendant is working for Skank Air now.)

Next up on the Discovery Channel's Shark Week: The Great White Skank. - Jon (Hey, I like the word "skank," what can I say?)

A special shout-out goes to Cora for "And they said pigs couldn't fly." Funny, but I couldn't use it because it was pretty much the same as a past winning entry. Sorry. I never said life was fair.

19 comments:

The Vegetable Assassin said...

"Sporting a tiny bikini and her factor 40 sunblock, Paris realized too late, that the part of the equation she missed was the jetpack."

Jesus, I haven't improved any at this, have I? Have fun in the windy city, beeyatch. Is it called the Windy City because people eat so much deep dish pizza they fart?

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

"Hey, does my beaver look better from this angle or in the infrared video?"

Ian said...

OK, I'll give this contest one last try, even though I know I'm not funny:

"Three minutes later, the only thing left was a floating bikini and a plastic-like substance in the water."

Scope said...

"Oh great. We finally get a handle on the Gulf oil thing, and someone starts dumping more toxic sludge in the water."

Ricky Shambles said...

"Towards me! I bet you I'd hit your nose with my bean!"

"This Jesus thing isn't so hard."

"Shit! It's a Land Shark but in the water!"

"Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down"

"Ha! My breasts can float!"

SkylersDad said...

In the event of a water landing your fake boobs can be used as flotation devices. We hope you enjoyed your flight with us on skank air.

Ed said...

"Once again, Paris is caught on film going down."

J.J. said...

Paris: "Yes, I DO walk on water! See?"

Cora said...

"Float like a butterfly, sting like a beeyotch."

Sorry. That's all I've got. I'm too busy wallowing in my boiling jealousy that Scope gets to meet you and I don't. *POUT*

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Minutes after being thrown out of the plane for refusing to buckle her seat belt Paris Hilton landed on an unsuspecting swimmer and caused the swimmer's head to be permanently embedded up Paris' a**

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Excited by the prospect of spending time with Beckeye in Chicago, Paris forgets to look before jumping off the yacht. Beckeye and Paris are now connected in ways they never imagined possible

Cora said...

"And they said pigs couldn't fly."

Gothic ʚϊɞ said...

I live in Chicago and also will be at Lolla I will be the drunk girl dancing stupidly to Bad Romance. I have nothing on the pic though, I am not good with words unless I am liquored up.

carissajaded said...

I'm not good at this.. but I laughed my ass off at Ed's comment. Did the wind break her? ANd are those sock tans? Money CANT buy perfection. Or perfect form.

katrocket said...

"It's raining skanks. Hallelujah, it's raining skanks. Amen."

Jon said...

Next up on the Discovery Channel's Shark Week: The Great White Skank.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You're going to Lolla on Lady Gaga Day and not The National Day? You deserve to have Paris Hilton squash your head in the ocean then!

words...words...words... said...

1. INVISIBLE PARACHUTE

2. Paris Hilton demonstrates the surprisingly propulsive power of pulling a head out of your ass.

3. Mmm, the Rapture. That's hot.

4. Space aliens select the most agreeable subject yet for their comprehensive anal probing.

Ed said...

SWEET!

I love winning!

Which is something that Paris is unfamiliar with.

 

Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

My photo
I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

What Do Others Think of BeckEye?

"You're like an idiot savant of terrible garbage entertainment." - Falwless

"You're my hero." - Candy

"Get yourself a life. Better yet.....eff off." - Ann Onymous

"There's no one like you." - Klaus Meine