Happy Friday the 13th, everyone! Today's story features two obnoxious, sex-crazed kids. Where is Jason Vorhees when you need him?
So, just call me a cross between Match.com and Miss Cleo. It appears that Her Royal Skankness, Lindsay Lohan, has taken my dating advice to heart. The latest buzz is that Hollywood's two most screwed-up hyphenated hyphenates, Li-Lo and K-Fed, have parlayed a disgusting tryst into a full-fledged relationship.
I realize that this was reported in the National Enquirer, but I'm choosing to believe it, okay? Why not? As I've said before, these two are perfect for each other. They've both got the whole '70s-porn-star look down and neither has a shred of dignity. I know that, judging by that criteria, the Kevin-Britney union should've lasted forever, but in celeb time, two years is forever. I'm not saying that this new coupling is destined for greatness, but it's destined to at least provide us all with a few weeks worth of laughs and/or revulsion.
All the dynamic duo needs now is the mandatory celeb-couple nickname. Kevsay? Kevlin? Loline? Federhan? K-Lo? Lo-Fed? Federwhore? What do you all think?
Comments
Ick.
Alas, she has sunk to unimaginable lows.
You are so funny, I NEEEEEDED to laugh today, thank you!
Federwhore is a keeper, but certainly must be tempered with Whorehan, as the label suits both parties.
Actually Federwhore-Whorehan would work for those formal occasions.
I think it's a little bit tragic how she turned from an adorable little kid into the celebrity skank du jour, and despite my well-documented propensity for mockery I just can't bring myself to call them Federwhore.
Besides, someone needs to give that girl a sammich, and maybe if they keep hearing "low fed" they'll remember.
Flannery - I liked her in the Parent Trap too. I have a hard time believing it's the same girl. I'm starting to suspect that it wasn't Lindsay playing both roles and that there were really two of them...and she's done something horrible to the good twin. I think the good twin was last seen in "Mean Girls," which is really a hilarious movie, and now she's chained to the wall in Paris Hilton's wine cellar or something.
Les - It is funny. And so much better than clunky Brangelina.
Layla - You're welcome, m'dear.
Doug - Sounds like MeatLoaf's new hidden camera show. Oh no, I shouldn't have even put that thought out into the universe. Don't even think about it, MTV.
Barbara - Do you think these two will be invited to many formal occasions?
Deadspot - I found Lo-Fed pretty funny too. Although if the press started calling them that, people might mistakenly think that they're just talking about Nicole Richie and Lara Flynn Boyle. It could get a little confusing.
I would've gone with "Lo-Fed," though "Federwhore" has an interesting tone to it.
Howzabout "Ko-Laine?" It's rehab-riffic!
I'm with Lo-Fed, because unless you're a hip hop "artist", one must be careful who you call the-word- that-ends-in -ore or -o. We are living in strange times ;-)
My advice to Li-Lo is... birth control & lots of it. That K-Fed is one fertile dude.
http://tinyurl.com/6deow
Nope. We're all gonna end up stoned to death by morons (is it still okay to say "morons"?).