Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Lesbian List

Lately, I've been thinking about all the "sexy men" lists I've posted (actors here, musicians here) and, when I stopped drooling, I wondered if my male and lesbian readership were feeling slighted. Therefore, I'm going to give a little time to the gals. Not as much as I gave to the men because, as lovely as some of these ladies are, none of them have the power to make me switch teams.

BeckEye's Big 5 Bodacious Babes

1. Catherine Zeta-Jones. She might be the most stunning looking person -male or female - I've ever seen in my life. So, what I said before about no woman having the power to make me switch teams? Well, CZJ, if you read that, I was just kidding! You are all-powerful, oh great one. I actually sat through The Haunting more than once because of you. Every time something went wrong with my cell phone, I was hoping that the T-Mobile gods would send you to fix it. Why you're with that wrinkly old dude I will never know.

2. Daniela Pestova. A Victoria's Secret model who dominated the catalogs in the '90s. My only blonde. She looks like a Nordic Goddess, but she's actually from the less sexy Czech Republic.

3. Zooey Deschanel. She's really shot to the top of my lesbian list in recent years. But, no, she is not the reason that I've seen Elf a zillion times. I like her better as a brunette. Plus, I'd rather get it on with Will Ferrell. But, hey, he's married.

4. Adriana Lima.
A Victoria's Secret model who has dominated the catalogs for much of the new millennium. She's from Brazil, where everyone is hot and spicy. I have no idea why I've never made a trip there.

5. Eliza Dushku.
No, she is not the reason that I've seen Bring It On a zillion times. I'm just really full of cheer. Plus, I'd rather get it on with Jesse Bradford.

So, do I have better taste in women than I do in men? As you can see, my "type" in both sexes is remarkably similar. I'm generally a big fan of thick, dark, tousled hair and pouty lips. I guess I'm just attracted to the qualities that I covet the most.


bloody awful poetry said...

Oooh. Those chicks are gorgeous. I'm tempted to say your taste in women is better than your taste in men, but then I'm not switching teams anytime soon either. Great list though! Never really thought about it.

Anonymous said...

You do go for the high end model chick. Except for Eliza Dushku. She is hot, but not in the model calibur.


Anonymous said...

Hmm, I've only heard of one of those girls. I'm out of touch - literally!!

FranIAm said...

Not to sound catty, bitchy, bitter or mean-spirited (oh too late for that!) but when I lived in LA, CZJ used to get sushi at a place near my friend's house.

Now I never saw her (so therefore am only quoting and not being catty, etc) myself, but I am told from excellent sources (ie - my friend) that CZJ has really bad skin.

I'm not sayin' but I'm just sayin'!

As for seeing Elf a zillion times - I will admit that Zoey is as attractive to me as Will is.

Oh dear- that series of thoughts is so so so wrong.

SkylersDad said...

Your taste in women is excellent Beckeye! My two favorites are Jennifer Garner and Uma Thurman, I like women who can kick ass.

Falwless said...

I'd rate your taste as "Good." Excellent pick with the CZJ. I'm not real fond of Zooey (too thin) or Eliza (too ehh).

I'd have to add to the list Scarlett Johanssen and Bollywood's Aishwarya Rai. And there's something about Catherine Keener I love. And I sorta have a strange thing for very boyish girls, like The L Word's Katherinne Moennig and that lez chick on the first season of Tila Tequila's show - Dani.

I am so weird.

CDP said...

I think that CZJ is the most beautiful actress in the movies now.

Red said...

My List:

Scar Jo
Christina Hendricks from Mad Men
Miranda Kerr (my favorite VS model)
Kate Winslet
Monica Bellucci

I like 'em curvy.

Malcolm said...

Thanks for looking out for your male/lesbian readers. 4 and 5 on your list are esp. smoking hot. When I saw "This Boy's Life" a few years ago, I couldn't believe that the geeky looking Pearl grew up to be Elisha Dushku.

J. Hi said...

Good choices but the only woman I would go gay for would be Padma Lakshmi from 'Top Chef.' :)

Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...


God, I love her!

Falwless said...

Oh dear god I can't stop laughing at your Bush/Vader mockup. Truly funny. I love you.

pistols at dawn said...

How you can tell this is a list written by a straight lady: no mention of boobs at all. For shame!

evil-e said...

Good list except for the first one. Her always changing British/not-so-British accent gets on my nerves

Doc said...

As one of your male readers, thank you for the eye-candy, and I'm with you, blondes need not apply. Dark hair, curvy, and the "come hither" eyes....

I wonder what the wife is up to...

Great post.


fran said...

I've always been a huge fan of Zooey. She's simply adorable.

As for Ms. Zeta-Jones, I think "Entrapment" might be the only time that someone's ass has caused a movie to win the weekend box-office. That commercial with the security lasers...yeah.

Slave to the dogs said...

You like brunettes too! There's only 1 blond on my list:

Claire Forlani
Angelina Jolie
Gisele Bundchen

Note that my list is NOT based on personality, as a couple of these chicks are total wackos.

katrocket said...

Yes, you do have better taste in women than you do in men. You get bonus points if none of them are Scientologists.

dguzman said...

It's soooo about time that one of you straights gave us lez-beens a little tasty treat like this list! I commend you on your taste, though you definitely have a thing for those chiselled model types. Way to go on Dushku, BTW--but if I were taking a Buffy-gal tour, I'd head straight for the top with Sarah Michelle Gellar. Add to that Scully from the X-Files, Jodie Foster circa-Silence of the Lambs era, Annette Bening anytime anyplace, and Nicole Kidman before she went psycho-skinny.

Writeprocrastinator said...


Chancelucky said...

I'm not sure what the Michael Douglas thing is about. apparently she's a little older than claimed, but that still doesn't explain the match all that well.

genn6 said...

Shirley Manson from Garbage!

Historical Wit said...

I once saw SHirly Mansons panties in a concert. It pays to get upfront.

Scar JO. So freakin hot. That opening scene in Lost In Translation. spaktervision all the way...


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