Sunday, March 07, 2010

Sonic Sunday: Best Original Song Robbery Victims

In honor of the Oscars, this Sonic Sunday is all about songs that were nominated for Best Original Song only to unfairly lose.

"Far Behind" from Into The Wild, 2007 (Performer: Eddie Vedder Music and lyrics: Eddie Vedder)

OK, so this wasn't actually nominated, but that's the whole problem. I can't take issue with that year's winner, because I think "Falling Slowly" is a great song, and Markéta Irglová's "make-up speech" was one of the best moments of the 2007 Oscars. However, I was pretty pissed off that Eddie Vedder was not only ineligible for a Best Original Score nomination (some stupid Oscar rules), but also that not one of his soundtrack's songs got a Best Original Song nod, yet three schmaltzy songs from Enchanted were nominated. Not sure which song(s) might have made the cut. Since the best-known track, "Hard Sun," was actually a cover, I guess that "Guaranteed" would have been the second choice. But I chose "Far Behind" because I've already posted "Guaranteed" here once before. (And because it's a good song, natch.)

"Listen" from Dreamgirls, 2006 (Performer: Beyoncé, Music: Henry Krieger and Scott Cutler, Lyrics: Anne Preven)

Somehow, three songs from Dreamgirls were nominated, yet none of them won. Instead, the award went to "I Need to Wake Up," Melissa Etheridge's overwrought ode to environmental responsibility from the soundtrack to An Inconvenient Truth. Bah. Yes, Dreamgirls was kind of a Lifetime movie for the big screen, but the music was pretty good. And Beyoncé TORE.THIS.SONG.UP.

"That Thing You Do!" from That Thing You Do!, 1996 (Performer: Mike Viola, Music and lyrics: Adam Schlesinger)

Oh, Adam Schlesinger, you pop genius. You deserve an Oscar. I still can't believe this song lost to the Andrew Lloyd Webber/Tim Rice Evita ballad, "You Must Love Me." Especially since Madonna's vocals sucked.

"Blaze of Glory" from Young Guns II, 1990 (Performer: Jon Bon Jovi, Music and lyrics: Jon Bon Jovi)

Hey, I like Stephen Sondheim as much as the next gay guy, but there is no way that "Sooner or Later (I Always Get My Man)" deserved an Oscar. Especially not with Madonna singing.

"Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now)" from Against All Odds, 1984 (Performer: Phil Collins, Music and lyrics: Phil Collins)

Make fun of Phil Collins all you like; this is a great pop song. Just try to forget that it's been mercilessly driven into the ground by nearly every American Idol contestant. "Footloose" was also nominated this year, which would have also been an acceptable winner. Actually, even the silly "Ghostbusters" would have been preferable to the actual winner: Stevie Wonder's "I Just Called To Say I Love You" (from The Woman in Red). If I ever met Stevie Wonder, I'd take a minute to give him props for all the great music he's created over the years, and then I'd kick him square in the balls for unelashing that song upon the world. And then I'd probably slap his face for "Part Time Lover."

"Rainbow Connection" from The Muppet Movie, 1979 (Performer: Kermit the Frog, Music and lyrics: Paul Williams and Kenneth Ascher)

Seriously, how does Kermit the Frog lose? Especially when he's singing about rainbows? RAINBOWS, PEOPLE! This lost out to "It Goes Like It Goes" from Norma Rae, which I've never heard, and I now refuse to seek out and hear because I already know that it's not better than "Rainbow Connection." How do I know? BECAUSE IT'S NOT ABOUT RAINBOWS. AND IT'S NOT SUNG BY A FROG.

"Hopelessly Devoted To You" from Grease, 1978 (Performer: Olivia Newton-John Music and lyrics: John Farrar)

*sigh* OK, so I will admit that this song lost out to a good one—Donna Summer's "Last Dance" from Thank God It's Friday—but still. ONJ+Grease=award. Go ahead, check my work. That's a valid formula. This loss is an even bigger ripoff than "Rainbow Connection." Because what's better than rainbows? JOHN TRAVOLTA'S FACE REFLECTED IN A KIDDIE POOL.

"Nobody Does It Better" from The Spy Who Loved Me, 1977 (Performer: Carly Simon, Music: Marvin Hamlisch, Lyrics: Carole Bayer Sager)

I'm not a fan of Bond movies, but this is a great song. And it's kind of unbelievable that it lost to one of the sappiest songs ever written, "You Light Up My Life."

Speaking of Oscars, I'll be awarding my Schmoscars some time on Monday, so stay tuned! In the meantime, you can check out past Schmoscar winners here:
2009, 2008, 2007, 2006

10 comments:

Scope said...

Your post lit up my life.

And frog learned that it's hard out there for a (tad)pole.

I don't know. I'm drunk.

SkylersDad said...

I heard that after Kermit found out he lost he trashed a hotel room.

Shelly said...

Against All Odds is Phil Collins' best song ever. Totally should have won. And Kermit was robbed. Robbed I tell you!

red said...

I heart "Rainbow Connection." Can't believe all these songs DIDN'T win! And yeah. The Into the Wild debacle was BS.

words...words...words... said...

Just like you won't listen to "It Goes Like It Goes" because you know it's not better than "Rainbow Connection", I won't listen to "Far Behind" because I know it's not better than "Falling Slowly". Especially because of the way "Falling Slowly" was used in the film.

Also, Adam Schlesinger got robbed. I don't know what this guy has to do to become a household name. Maybe it's better that we have him to ourselves.

Moxie said...

"That Thing You Do!" is one of my all time favorite movies, so I agree wholeheartedly that it's a travesty the title song didn't win.

And "Rainbow Connection" didn't win? Are you shitting me?! Sad, very very sad.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

It's an outrage! I'm outRAGED!

And don't even get me started on all that weird dancing at this year's oscars.

Scott said...

Great post idea... I have no respect for the Best Song Oscar. I want to barf every time I hear the name Randy Newman.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Rainbow Connection made me cry as a kid, for some reason. I had a tape of it that I would play on a tape recorder - not even a boom box.

I actually really like the song Nobody Does It Better. I wanted to do a blog about it, but I don't think I ever got around to it because the concept of the song is amazing. Somebody broke her off and spoiled her for all other men, and she just had to sing about it.

J. Hi said...

Talk about being robbed...Blame Canada!! But they should have let Cartman sing it. lol

 

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