Sunday, December 07, 2008

Caption Crotch-test Contest #17

"Daddy, why does our program say 'Three Hole Circus' instead of 'Three Ring Circus'?"


And the last Firecrotch of the Month award goes to Words Words Words, the blogger formerly known as Fran Fran Fran. Or just plain Fran. Either way, this is that dude's second win this year, tying him with Deadspot. Of course, they were both just one quip shy of a Pistols at Dawn-esque threepeat.


Yes, many crotches burned brightly this year, and the time has come to name the Firecrotch of the Year. As promised, I'm leaving this very important decision up to you, dear readers. Should Pistols' impressive run guarantee him the win? Or did The Imaginary Reviewer or Skyler's Dad thrill you more with their one-time flashes of comedic brilliance? Remember, quality is more important than quantity. Just ask Pistols' disgruntled ex-girlfriends.

To vote for your favorite Firecrotch, please review this year's winning entries:
Once you've made a decision, cast your vote! Please, no stuffing the ballot box. That's just weird and pathetic. Voting will remain open until December 28.

30 comments:

CDP said...

Regime change! Awesome!

red said...

You haven't pimped your Starpulse post here yet, but I want to say, No way does Get Shorty ever trump Pulp Fiction! Ever! I'll grant you Grease (since it's a Travolta list), but GS at #2 is just madness!

Oh and my caption is: Britney Spears - Still crazier than Red...for now.

SkylersDad said...

While Bob re-inflates Brit's leaking implant, he can't help lamenting his lack of "Jazz hands".

BeckEye said...

Red, I do believe you're talking out of your ass.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Frank: "What do you smell, Bob?"
Bob: "I smell meth. What about you, Frank?"
Frank: "Despair."
Bob: "Yep, must be Britney."

Knot said...

Once Britney had gotten all the clowns from the car in her crotch, she decided there was room for mimes.

Knot

pistols at dawn said...

It's a sad, sad day for America when the mime is the most likable member of any group of people. And it's not even close.

Suze said...

Hey, Bob, she really does smell like Cheetos.

words words words said...

"Daddy, why does our program say 'Three Hole Circus' instead of 'Three Ring Circus'?"

words words words said...

"Wow, Frank, you're right. We could totally start sucking her nipples and nobody would blink an eye. I owe you a Coke."

katrocket said...

"C'mon Vogue! Let your body moo-oove to the music hey hey hey!"

Dale said...

You suck Britney, we'll blow!

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

Britney finally managed to out-diva J-Lo after demanding two Peruvian eunuchs to constantly lick her armpits clean.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Britney was glad she decided to have the mimes' tongues cut out before the show. It was so much easier to concentrate on her dance steps without all that screaming.

Cormac Brown said...

My curdled milk brings the mimes to the yard

And they're like "ou est la fromagge, Marge?"

Flannery Alden said...

"Daddy, why does our program say 'Three Hole Circus' instead of 'Three Ring Circus'?"
---words, words, words

I can't compete with this! Hilarious!

Doc said...

Why are the newsie and the magician trying to suckle at her tits?

Doc

whoissecretdubai said...

a humble request...(for anyone not allowing this post through--not spam--)

Anyone happen to know who Secret Dubai (the blogger: secretdubai.blogspot.com) is?

http://whoissecretdubai.blogspot.com/

whoissecretdubai said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mike said...

dancer has eye put out by Brit Tit.

pistols at dawn said...

When the show was over, the clowns packed up their gear and climbed back in Britney's vagina.

Tootsie said...

Come on, ladies... God wouldn't have given you maracas if He didn't want you to shake 'em.

katrocket said...

Pistols for Firecrotch of the Year -- he's made my crotch burn for close to two years, so it's only fair I return the favour.

words words words said...

I wish I had been around from the beginning of the year to attempt the threepeat!

Beckeye, thank you for this fine honor. You show impeccable taste. I only hope that the prize is a soothing balm for my burning crotch.

And since I won in May and December, I also expect a fling with an obscenely young comely woman.

pistols at dawn said...

Congrats to Words cubed on the impressive late win. I still like my second one, mostly because the idea of a bunch of dejected, gay clowns packing up at the end of the show and being forced to live in Britney's vagina makes me laugh for no apparent reason.

I should start using the quality/quantity argument on my soon-to-be-exes - "Sure, baby, I only last eight seconds, but I can do it like twice a day."

Also, I would submit that dating is like watching TV - it's rare that fifteen minutes go by without you wanting to see what else is out there. Especially when you're watching a dating show.

Dale said...

I'm all about the Manx. Golden!

Suze said...

I voted. Damn these people stealing my award!

words words words said...

I am in second place, which normally would be exciting, except that it just makes me long for first place. Therefore, I am announcing that if I win, everyone who votes for me will receive a check for $1000.00 and an autographed picture of Dr. Zibbs.*



*Checks will not be honored.

words words words said...

Wow, I'm like an ACTUAL Firecrotch now on your sidebar!

Tootsie said...

Gee come on people I'm a lonely single mom with no life what so ever...vote for me, I haven't been laid in a year and I'll feel special!

 

Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

My photo
I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

What Do Others Think of BeckEye?

"You're like an idiot savant of terrible garbage entertainment." - Falwless

"You're my hero." - Candy

"Get yourself a life. Better yet.....eff off." - Ann Onymous

"There's no one like you." - Klaus Meine